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Question for spouses of people with MS.

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    Question for spouses of people with MS.

    Please note that I'm posting this as gender neutral as possible because I don't think that gender matters in this situation and want to take this variable out of the conversation.

    Hi... I am relatively new here but am *very* involved in the MS community as a leader and fundraiser but I am posting this anonymously. My spouse has MS that has progressed to SPMS and is also a disabled veteran, former officer. Spouse is now on a clinical trial because there are no treatments that work or doesn't cause life-threatening side-effects. Spouse does everything possible to stay healthy (goes to gym 4-6 days/week, tracks all sorts of variables to try to figure out what's may be impacting him), works full-time (but is going out on STD next month) and is a good parent to our pre-school aged child.
    That being said, I find absolutely no passion for this individual. We have been married for 9 years and I'm bored. Every conversation is either about MS, job frustrations, or the (very powerful) alumni association where s/he is a leader.

    I lost my (6-figure) job last fall and have started my own business that is already profitable and I'm projected to make my past salary by the end of the year. At first, spouse showed so much interest in my business that I felt like s/he was taking over and, with the support of a therapist, I asked spouse to back-off and let me run my own business. Spouse did that but has also disengaged from everything in my business, to the point that I'm not comfortable talking about it although I finally feel in love with my career and in control of it for the first time in... well, forever.

    I tend to be the primary caregiver for our child and, although s/he claims to be equal partners, most logistics fall on me, and it's my responsibility to make sure it happens and I can ask spouse when necessary. It gets on me.

    I thrive on being outside and being active, spouse doesn't much like being outside (sometimes it's the heat, but I think s/he has become a bit of a hermit). When we first met, we were always doing fun, exciting, new things. Lots of mountain biking, hiking, walking, trying new restaurants, etc. Now, spouse can't/won't do these things. When I do things where I find happiness, I'm left feeling like I'm not doing enough as a family. If it were up to me, I'd be out on my own (either work events or personal thigns with friends) 2-3 nights a week but spouse doesn't find this acceptable and doesn't think it's good for our "familiy" although the time we do spend together in the evenings is eating dinner together, putting child to bed and watching TV. There is no interaction outside of that.

    I'm not happy... I'm working with a therapist to try to find some happiness and passion and am unsure how to do it with my spouse.

    I don't want our child to see a loveless marriage as a role model (I had one of those growing up). I'm not sure it's possible to be happy in this marriage and am close to asking for a separation to try things out.

    Is there anyone else who's been through something like this? I'm not blaming MS but I'm bored and want more out of life.