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caring for ailing elderly parents

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    caring for ailing elderly parents

    Any advice on how to stay sane caring for elderly parents while managing my own MS symptoms.

    I've been through this myself, so you have my sympathy.

    I think the only way to stay sane is to accept 3 things:

    1. Your hopes and expectations will not be realistic and you'll have to become very flexible about what actually happens. Your parents may have very different ideas about how they want to live than you do. They might not be happy and they might not be cooperative. That's just the way it's going to be. You can't take it personally.

    2. You can't possibly take care of them yourself. You'll have to pull in help from every relative, friend and social service agency you can find. And be prepared to spend money - theirs, yours, everyone's. To keep your parents safe you'll have to find creative ways to provide help even if they don't want it.

    3. Aging and passage are parts of life and some of it is not going to be pretty or pleasant. You'll have to go back to 1 and 2 above and deliberately concentrate on the good parts and the great memories. Do the best you can but don't burn yourself out in the process, so you will be able to fill your life up as much as possible with the good parts as you help your parents complete their time with you.

    Staying sane takes preparation and good choices. So please get all the help you need.


      Bless you, jackiey, for being there for your parents. I imagine it must be quite the challenge. Are they living with you now? Are there other relatives around to help them and you too?

      MSer has some good points here and I want to add there are agencies to help you. I found this site from our Resource Center here that gives a comprehensive listing of agencies you can turn to

      Simply click on your state to see what is offered. I hope this helps you in some way
      1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
      Administrator Message Boards/Moderator


        First things first; Are you able to take care of them. Really really weigh that first. If you are having issues and problems in your own life, taking on theirs may not be for you.

        Always take time for yourself. Give yourself a break once a week and go out for an entire evening and do whatever please's you.

        My goes out to you. fed