Dating sucks

[lstrl]

That does sound like a very frustrating experience (I'm newly diagnosed and haven't had the "chance" at experiencing it for myself yet), but if they can't accept you with the MS, they're not the kind of people you want to be around anyway. Yes, they are shallow, and you need to find yourself a real man. At least you found out before anything happened.

I'm guessing that if you've made it through all of these dates without anyone ever knowing that something is wrong, then your MS probably isn't that bad right now. MS is so unpredictable though, you may never get really bad. Or, it could happen tomorrow. Nobody knows. Whether someone has MS or not though, anything can happen to any one of us at any time that can change our lives. The people who shy away from someone with MS (or any disease, really) need to think about that when deciding that they can't handle someone who isn't perfect. If it happens to them, they'd better hope they can find someone who isn't quite so shallow.

[Jules A]

The reaction I get is usually the same with some small exceptions. They usually get defensive and say something like, "That doesn't change anything, I'm not an "expletive" you know."

My heart goes out to you and I applaud that you are being honest with them. Dating is rough even without adding MS to the mix.

That said if the guys you are dating are making the defensive, macho, crude statements like you have written here I would take another look at the type of person you are choosing to date.

Someone who doesn't have the basic manners and decorum to address the topic in a more articulate, polite fashion isn't worth your time anyway!!

People are going to be scared away but I think this also weeds the men from the boys and when you find the one who is willing to weather this storm with you it will be so worth the wait.

[aitch10]

Dating DOES suck. I'm sorry

But hey, there are great guys out there and you're bound to find one. Yeah wading through the murky swamp of slimeballs is no fun, but you've just got to perservere and know that it'll be worth it in the end.

[Westgrl]

So, I began dating for the first time since my dx in Dec. I've lost 70 pounds and feel great about myself & probably am the healthiest I have been in years. Funny that it took getting MS for this to happen.

So, with the change in weight & more importantly, my attitude, I've been getting more attention from men.

I had hoped for the best. I tend to wait until after a first date to tell someone I have MS.

The reaction I get is usually the same with some small exceptions. They usually get defensive and say something like, "That doesn't change anything, I'm not an "expletive" you know." Then a few days later, they disappear. Literally. No more calls, texts, they are just gone.

At first I thought I just met a couple of jerks who lost interest or met someone else & didn't have the decency to tell me. Then it happened again... and again. It finally clicked. They feel like crap dumping a girl because she has MS so they pretend to be ok with it, or maybe even try to convince themselves they are, and then they just run away from it. Or maybe they go home & Google it, see the worse case scenario & run. Who knows.

It's exhausting having to go through this with every guy I develop an interest in. Dating is bad enough but throwing this into the mix just really sucks.