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    MS or Pain Meds

    HI, I'm new here. My husband has been dx with MS for three years now. He has been addicted to pain meds since I've known him, about 20 years.

    Since his MS he has a lot of fatigue, which I get, but he also takes a lot of pain pills. He tells me it's the MS, but I think a lot of it is the meds.

    When a person has fatigue, do they eat a lot? sleep a lot?

    I'm just so over the candy and junk food, laying on the couch all day, not trying to better himself. I know he is depressed, but he will not go to therapy or the neuro. Only the pain management doctor.

    #2
    Sorry your dealing with this, unfortunately you have 2 chronic, relapsing diseases to deal with. Both need treatment and you'll need help. It would probably help to involve his primary care doctor and the neuro. Maybe you could have a conversation with both and then set up appointment for you and husband. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Take care of yourself. Dale
    Dale in NC, dx'ed 2000, now SPMS

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      #3
      I'd also guess its both.

      Good luck I can't imagine living with active addiction issues and MS.
      He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
      Anonymous

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        #4
        I'm so sorry to read your story. You and your husband are both in a terrible situation!

        The problem might be both MS and pain meds or it might be neither one. It might be that your husband is a depressed addict who also just happens to have MS and pain that he needs medicines for. There are some problems that go along with pain medicines but in an addict the addiction is a MUCH bigger problem than the medicines themselves. I've read many articles where doctors said that people who truly need pain medicines for pain don't usually become addicted and people who don't really need them for pain are most likely to become addicted. Is your husband treating his pain or feeding his addiction?

        The really sad thing about both depression and addiction is that you can't help a person who doesn't want help. You might be able to force your husband to do something, but even then it might not work.

        It doesn't seem quite right to me that your husband's pain doctor is prescribing addictive pain medicines to a known addict. There are privacy laws so your husband's pain doctor can't tell you anything about his case without his permission. But his doctor can listen to you. Maybe it's time for you to talk to your husband's pain doctor about his depression and his addiction.

        And maybe it's time for you to talk to your husband's neurologist about his depression and addiction and fatigue. There are medicines that can help with fatigue. Some are addictive but some aren't so there are still things for him to try. Some antidepressant medicines help with pain and fatigue too. His neurologist or GP might be able to help here. There's probably nothing you can do by yourself to help him. His problems are much too big and you aren't a trained professional and you're too emotionally involved.

        These sad situations often aren't one-sided. How have you managed to be married to an addict for so many years? Are you suppressing issues of your own? If your husband won't go to therapy for his depression and addiction maybe you can go to therapy for yourself to find out why you've been living with it for so long and decide what you want to do to make your own life better. You can't change your husband but you can change yourself. Sometimes when a person makes changes to their own life the other person changes in response.

        My heart goes out to both of you. I wish you both the best.

        Comment


          #5
          Oh dear, what a terrible situation for both of you. I don't live in the US so things are different here but I'm surprised his pain management doc is able to prescribe pain meds without the blessing of his neuro.

          In Ontario, you can't pass gas without every doc knowing about it. Also, for any narcotic or controlled substance that's picked up at a pharmacy, we must show I.D. I guess this is to prevent "doctor shopping" and other forms of prescription abuse.

          I agree with the poster who suggested talking to his doctor, even if they can't speak with you, they can listen. Maybe writing to his doc may be a good idea so you can word it properly.

          I wish you both luck, you sound like you're at the end of your rope.

          Jen
          RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
          "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

          Comment


            #6
            Thank you all for your replies. I have talked to past doctors. We moved so he is visiting a new doctor and I'm sure they are not aware of his past, as I'm sure he did not mention this.

            I went once with him and he really did not let me talk to the assistant, we did not see the dr. He did get less meds that day, but then asked for more to be called in.

            He blames he "episodes on MS, but I am sure it's the meds. As far as the neuro, he's found a new one here and been once. No meds were prescribed and he hasn't been back. We've been here a year already.

            I am at the end of my rope. I feel bad, because he's sick, but we have 2 small children, 5 and 12 and I just don't want to live like this anymore....

            In reference to how long he's been addicted. I did have his job send him to rehab 13 years ago. I have called in doctors and ranted and raved. He was arrested 3 years ago for RX fraud.

            I just feel like a bad person for wanting to leave when he's sick, but I'm kinda over it....

            Thanks for listening to my rant..

            Comment


              #7
              Although I have to wonder why you tolerated this behavior for so many years I agree. No way would I allow someone's addiction continue to taint my life especially if children were involved even with a real illness present like MS.

              FWIW you can always call the physician and provide information because you have no legal obligation to confidentiality. The provider can't give you information without consent but you can.

              That said it constantly amazes me how many don't seem to understand or identify the implications of prescribing opiates and/or benzodiazepines to people with addictions issues.
              He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
              Anonymous

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                #8
                I don't understand why the doctors keep prescribing them either!

                I guess I kept thinking it would get better....

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by sweetannec View Post
                  I don't understand why the doctors keep prescribing them either!

                  I guess I kept thinking it would get better....
                  Sadly in almost all cases it doesn't get better it only gets worse. In my experience many of the prescription addictions start with a well meaning PCP who prescribes something with the intention of helping their patient however....

                  Hmmm, she's complaining of anxiety I'll give her some Xanax. They don't realize the huge down side and very minimal upside, imo. After a while it becomes apparent the person is dependent.

                  The doses keep needing to be increased, the prescriptions are getting "lost", stolen, eaten by the dog or ruined by being washed with laundry. The patient starts begging, crying and/or threatening at which point the prescriber realize what a mess it is and try to pawn the client off on a "specialist".
                  He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                  Anonymous

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