Frustrated .....

[kif8skip]

I have not been on MS world in quite some time - needed a bit of a break over - but as we all know MS does not take a break...

we moved to a new house that will accommodate a wheelchair as that time is coming ...quicker than we hoped.

MY BF of 5 years , was dx'd 1 1/2 years ago with MS - he is Type 1 diabetic /bi polar and has had 2 major back tumours removed in the past 4 years........

He said that being rx'd with MS was just the icing on the cake he has been served health wise..in a weird way he was able to handle the dx better than someone that has never had to deal with a major medical issue.

it is overwhelming at times and right now is one of them.

He is suffering depression now , and almost refuses to leave the house . He will not go the to Dr ( cancelled 3 appointments) ...he cannot take any meds for MS ( medical pot is okay ) and he feels like what is the point in going to the DR. He take a lot of medication and is on the insulin pump.

He cannot help around the house , nor with the animals ( 3 dogs) . He falls alot yet will not use a walker and even fights using a cane.

He does not eat until I come home from work ( will not eat )...however he does not stop eating from the time I come home until bedtime....he has night time incontinence off and on and zero sex drive .

He is a big guy at 6'1" and now up to about 270....I am having a harder and harder time helping him get around - helping him get up , dressed , showered etc....it getting more and more difficult - very scary !!

Myself - I dont want to be called a caregiver - I am his girlfriend , lover and confident .....I do not mind caring for him ....I am frustrated at this point in time!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR....

Well thats my vent here - I know I am not alone being a "caregiver" is hard in many ways ...I am glad I am my man's support and supporter but sometimes it is hard to know which way to turn ..

(sorry this turned into a big whine session )

[sgrammied]

Come on here and vent when needed.

If the world had more people like you in what a wonderful world we would have.

Some dream we could get the support you give. Thank you for that. So come on vent if you have to. We DO
understand.

Hugs to you.

[arohk]

vent away we all need to it's tough not being able to just fix the probelm so to speak. depression is a ugly thing to go through I know I suffer from both depression and PTSD all the while tring to care for my wife it is very tough if you need to vent from time to time go for it it is better then holding it all in.

[TheSpouse]

Wow!

What a cocktail of terror he has for diseases!

My wife is in a very tough spot now. Has not drove or a year and only gets out about once a week when she feels up to me taking her somewhere. She is trying her best and does everything she can for herself.

Sounds like your guy is overwhelmed. I can understand why. I don't think you can impart a will to live and recover. You can help and encourage a person that does.

I hope you are able to get him to want to try. It sounds like he is not far from being institutionalized.

OJ are doing a noble task offering help. I remember when my wife dreaded the wheelchair. But after getting it we old go shopping and do so much more.

Good luck with your guy.

[Cecilia22222]

Wow. That sounds so hard.

My husband has MS, and he has depression sometimes too. We agreed early on that this is *our* MS- that it's going to affect me too.

How were things before he got sick? Could you guys open up to each other? Could you cry on his shoulder sometimes?

I ask because I wonder whether he hates being dependent and fears becoming even more dependent. I wonder whether if you came clean and cried and told him how you're feeling- that you are afraid and worried at pushing him away- that you need to lean on him because he is strong- that he will feel empowered to do something for you??

I know that my husband feels like a helpless child unless I can turn to him to help me open jars, lift heavy things, stroke my hair when I'm sad. He needs to feel like he's still a man, and helping me.

But I don't know how it is for you. Sorry if it feels like I'm preaching.

It is hard. It is hard for the person with MS, and it's hard for us. No way around that. I'm glad that you are here. Don't get isolated and lose connections. I think that sharing our stories and being shoulders to each other will help.

Love you, girl. Here is a big e-hug, but I'm imagining giving it to you in person. {{{mmmmrrrmmmmph}} : )

Cecilia