Emergency family situation

[Skinny]

So my 10 year old son just threw the king of all fits! The neighbors all came outside some came over. How embarrassing
His older brother pissed him off picking on him as brothers do.... He is 14. They got into a fight on the floor then throwing things around at eachother screaming fighting cursing. My husband walked outside as usual so I had to try to tear them apart.
I an completely atrophied and going though a huge relapse Dx by my Dr last week. Oh my....

Then my 10 year old went out back in the screen porch threw the tables chairs cushions screaming cursing, I had no idea what to do so I sat out there and tried to calm him down.

He screamed at me that I am not a mom, all I do is lay in my bed all day and cry and complain that I hurt. I thought to myself ok maybe it's good he gets this all out. Mean while neighbors are knocking on the door standing around the house. Looking at me like I should do something about it? What can I do? You can't spank kids now days! I can't pick him up and put him in his room.

My husband who is the kids step dad comes out back looks at me tells me about the neighbors duh ! I know! What can I do about it?

I got some soap put it in his mouth he bit a chunk off and told me yummy it taste good! ???

My husband says I can't take this well what else is new! He drinks himself drunk everyday because he can't handle me bing so sick along with what ever else his reasons are that day.
As he is walking away he threatens me with a divorce! Yeah that will solve everything!

I want to pack up a bag and get in my car and leave! Leave the kids leave him. Just get away.

I don't have any idea what to do....other then make the 10 yr old clean up his mess he made and go apologize to all the neighbors till he does that he will be grounded from everything.

My head is spinning! I don't know what to do so I got on here to ask for help. My husband took off to the bar.... The 10 yr old is Laying on the floor out back in the screen room crying and my 14 yr old is laying down in his bed.

I have been kicked scratched spit on hit and threaded to be divorced all in about an hr.

[SNOOPY]

It sounds like it is time for family counseling/therapy. MS or other health issues can affect not only the person who has it but the family.

Your son obviously has some anger/fear and doesn't/can't express it appropriately so he had a meltdown. When things have calmed down I would sit down and try to speak to him about what happened and why.

In that conversation you should make it clear that any other physical attack to yourself, which will not be tolerated, will result in you calling the police. You may need to follow through in calling the police if he physically hurts you again.

As bad as you may feel, it is time for you to take control over what is happening in your home. Your husband sounds like he has a problem with alcohol and in my opinion is another issue that should not be tolerated and dealt with appropriately.

As far as the neighbors: my opinion and my reaction would be... ... It's none of their business and really they have no clue as to what is going on. Don't worry about the neighbors...not worth the effort

[mselinida]

My heart breaks for you

I don't know where to start.

Crazy idea...

Send the 10 year old to me. My 16 year old son will show him how to behave with a sick mom.
(He lifts me off the toilet because I can't stand up. Nothing can make you lose respect as much as that. Yet when I start counting he runs to do what I tell him cause he'll get grounded.)

How I got this to happen..
1. You are the adult. What you say goes. Period.
2. EVERYTHING in that house is yours. Including their clothes and furniture and toys and electronics.
3. The ELECTRICITY is yours. Put a lock on the breaker box. When they don't do what they have to do, go and turn off their breaker. No TV, no video games, no arguments.
3. If they have a smartphone, there are free APPS you can download to control EVERYTHING on their phone, who they can call, who they text, what games they play. EVERYTHING!!
4. Who says you can't spank children? They do! When my son was 8 he threatened to call CPS on me if I spanked him. I told him to take 1 pair of underwear and 1 pair of socks, put them in a plastic freezer bag and get in the car. That was all I was going to let him have from MY house, and I was going to drop him off at the CPS office. When he got there he can go and ask them for a new family.
He opted for the spanking.
Let's just say that even at 16 he doesn't even TRY to go there any more.
I have spanked him a total of 4 times in his life.

Also, I am sure it is scary for them, you being sick. Check out you local NMSS chapter and see if they have a support group for kids. It will help when they speak to other kids that are in their situation.

You are overwhelmed, and no wonder!

[maitrimama]

I truly hope things have settled down for you. At this point, with sons aged 10 & 14, to get things back to a manageable level, I think you will need some outside help. That help is available you just have to look in the right places (your local MS society might be a good place to start).

I am in limbo right now but have had health issues for many years. Our approach was the polar opposite from mselinida and it has worked wiell for us. My teenage girls have, so far, turned out well even with their dad and I getting divorced. Same rules at his house and mine. The family only works when everybody contributes, we all work together and it our house, our yard, our family. We respect people, pets and possessions. We try to have the girls earn things and privileges not always be taking stuff away. I don't know but it has worked for us and I know I would have never thrived or survived in such a scarey enviroment. - M

[cadiman]

Ms Copaxone Cutie

FYI just went from Copaxone to Avonex, suppose to be a better route I am told....shall keep you posted.

Two thoughts....one is there is a serious marital issue.

Second, problem with kids has the potential to be dangerous, only you know if this is the case.

If your husband cannot accept the `for better or worse` clause in his vows, it may be time to move-on.

If the incident with the boys seems beyond normal sibling fighting then seek some social assistance before things escalate to a dangerous level.

You are not alone here, your neighbours comming-over is a sign of them caring. Do not be shy about opening-up with one you trust as they may be able to help or offer some sound advice.

Remember, (even if it is the opinion of this Canadian guy), others care and want to help!