What do you do when your mom cries every time she sees you?

[mmorrison]

I've just read the thread "Family Understanding." I don't have MS, but my husband does. His family only lives 7 miles away from us, and we never see or hear from them. They have ignored us on holidays. When we do see them at weddings and funerals, his mother just cries and can't look at him. It's the worst feeling ever. His pcp has been prescribing Xanax anytime we have to attend a family function! As the inlaw outlaw, I don't feel right suggesting we not attend these events as it's his family, but maybe I should?...I don't know what to do.

We need their help (they are very comfortable financially and could really help us with a lot of excess expenses), but we all can't even be around each other. Anyone else having this experience? I think we'd be better about it if we didn't know they were within 5 driving minutes! And our best friends are coming to visit for Thanksgiving after having not seen us for about 8 months. Those of you dealing with rapid progression know what that means....

[22cyclist]

I so get this! My grandmother and mother both avoid me like the plague! They both are so "worried" and "can't handle" what is happening to me. Both live within 15 minutes of me but never visit. When or if they call on the phone it is all about them and how bad they feel that I have MS.

I just don't even want to talk to them, it takes too much energy. For goodness sakes women put on your big girl pants and deal with it! We do!

No advice here other than avoid it if you can at least face to face. Not worth it. Email and call.

[seal]

My Mom lives in Georgia, I live in Indiana. My sisters (one here, one in Georgia) and I have decided we will not tell our mother about my MS.

She would be constantly crying, throwing me a pity party, and, somehow blaming herself.

I love my Mom and know her heart was in the right place, but, she would absolutely driven me crazy.

[zenlightenment]

mmorrison,

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. <3

My mom cried alot when I was first diagnosed. She kept saying "...if we only hadn't moved to Colorado [from California], you wouldn't have gotten MS!", which may or may not be true, but what does it matter now?

I say this only as a way of suggesting that maybe your husband's mother is feeling guiilty. Or maybe she is just feeling what all mothers I think would feel...just sorrow that your child has to struggle. We all want what is best for our children.

I hope that you or your husband can have an honest discussion about why she is crying, and come closer as a family because of this illness...or in spite of it!