No announcement yet.

How to help?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    How to help?

    So Mum has progressive MS, she is in her early 60's dx in the last year. The progression in the last year is hard to watch and has affected the whole family. I don't think she knows how it has affected all of us but it has. I still am grieving the loss of the simple things that I will never get to do again with my Mom. Go for walks, shopping just simple things. She is very angry and I get that it sucks. Really it was 20+ years of not knowing WTH was going on, grilling the drs and then bam and quick downward spiral.
    Dad is her main caregiver and she can be hard on him, its showing he looks tired exhausted and honestly I am worried about his health. He tries to be there for her all the time but reality is someone has to get the mail go to the grocery store etc.
    Lately she has had falls more often even with assistance of a walker. I wish she would get something like life alert, it terrifies me to know that she may fall and if Dad is out she could be down for quite a while. She is so resistant to anything, again I can see why it is having to accept and that is such a tough road to travel.
    How do you help someone who isn't interested or wanting the help?
    I love them both but am scared for both of them at the same time.

    I am sorry you did not get any replies on your post -

    I suggest that you offer gentle support - like making a couple of dinners for the freezer , offer to sit with Mom while Dad has a few hours off . come in and do a little cleaning without being obvious ( ie in the bathroom , kitchen etc)...

    Sometimes people need help but are too proud or scared to ask for it ...I am sure whatever you offer will be appreciated by one if not both your folks...

    Good Luck
    Peace ~~ Kat


      How to help

      It is a good forum for all family health issues.


        Maybe consider calling the NMSS? I would imagine they might have numbers of local resources. if she has a fall that requires hospitalization definitely ask about a social work consult.

        I would think a home health aide might be appropriate at this point to assist your Mom with ADLs and allow your father to have some respite.

        It makes me sad and angry that MS is such a thief of our once vibrant lives. My heart goes out to your family.
        He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.


          Really sad..