Wife with MS and cognitive problems

[CycleSurgeon]

Full disclosure here...wife is 22cyclist and knows I am posting. Just wanted to come on here and see how others dealt with spousal cognitive issues.

She has mostly trouble with short-term memory. It is no longer safe for her to cook, which is not a problem for me. She cleans up and I cook, it works out. She has a hard time with spelling and math although she has an advanced college degree which is hard for her.

I just wondered how I can be more supportive. She is very sweet and worries that she puts too much pressure on me, but I know how hard it is for her too.

I just thought I would share my story.

[Jules A]

Hi and welcome,
I'm probably not supposed to be lurking in here but your post was so sweet and thoughtful I couldn't pass up welcoming you to the board.

I wish I had some advice but I'm also someone who worked very hard in school and am terrified of the time when MS robs me of my cognitive abilities.

Be well, Jules

[CycleSurgeon]

Thank you. She is a nurse and gives good advice still. She knows what she is talking about, she just has to rely on spell check more than she used to. It frustrates her.

It took me going to a few therapy sessions with the neurophychologist to completely understand the impact of the disease. I am a surgeon, not a neurologist.

I never really knew the cognitive issues it brought. I have learned not to get upset when dishes wind up in odd places anymore, or my clothes end up in odd places.

I have also learned not to bring it up as often. It doesn't really help. It just makes her sad. So, for other husbands and wives, it is good to learn about this aspect of the disease.

It averts a LOT of fights. Your loved one is not trying to drive YOU crazy. They are doing the best they can. It is up to us to fill in the gaps.

[Toomnyhats]

Cycle, she might try playing the "games" on Luminosity. That is what my neuro-psych "prescribed" for my cog sx. I will say that if I do it 30 min or so, 4-5 days/wk I noticed an improvement.

She might also try playing other games/activities that require her to think.

Something else I do is consume coconut oil (about 1T/day stirred into my oatmeal). We saw a dr on youtube who used it on her dh's Alzheimer's with great improvement in his cognition sx.

Neither of these are a cure, but they may help lessen the sx. And I figure there is minimal risk with potentially big reward for just trying.

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[techie]

Thank you CycleSurgeon

22 just posted an excellent explanation of the MRI. I can tell she is very intelligent.Her responses show this too. My Foxfire Browser underlines misspelled word in red. This is very helpful to me (I never could spell anyway)
Cog fog is very frustrating. It's hard not being able to remember simple stuff.
We compromised by putting things in the same place so I can find them.
Not a biggie but when you spend a half hour looking for something right in plain sight. It's frustrating

techie

[Deer In Headlights]

Keep it up

You have it right. It sounds like you're a dream. Yes, I'm a male and married with 4 children.

I'm the one with ms and what really stresses me out is being given the 3rd degree.

Just tell her that you're happy with her and she needs to enjoy you.

I'm a intermediate school teacher and sometime it hurts to think.

She'll get it, hopefully not though

Good Luck

[CycleSurgeon]

I have found that an honest conversation helps a lot. I am a busy Surgeon, and she just made me STOP and take time to do what I could to listen.

I attended her neuropsychology appointment with her. He explained a lot. Nothing the neurologist could not explain. I urge you to bring her to an appointment without the kids.

Give your neuro a heads up that you are coming together and need an explanation of the cog problems. It surely opened my eyes

And I went to medical school for Gods Sakes!!!! How did I not know these things? I guess denial ain't just a river in Egypt. There are also also social workers that can help too.

My wife is available to chat (her email is online) feel free to chat with her about this anytime. She is good about helping with this stuff. (22cyclist), she is a nurse.

I hope it gets better. You need each other. Let us know how it goes, OK? We will both talk to you both. We are all in this together.

Take care

CycleSurgeon.

[CycleSurgeon]

You have it right. It sounds like you're a dream. Yes, I'm a male and married with 4 children.

I'm the one with ms and what really stresses me out is being given the 3rd degree.

Just tell her that you're happy with her and she needs to enjoy you.

I'm a intermediate school teacher and sometime it hurts to think.

She'll get it, hopefully not though

Good Luck

Deer in headlights: Man I feel for you! Our kids are adults FINALLY!

My hope is that you will have time to go to a neuro appointment with her and just sit and ask question to the dude. Your wife will appreciate it.

Your relationship WILL improve! You can not live on this island alone dude...none of us can. That is why we come on here to ***** and let go. Its ok gotta do it somewhere.

Man, give me a email whenever you need to.. I will be happy to chat with you or anyone else. We have to stick together MS is a family illness and we have to be healthy for them.

I love my wife too and I have to stay healthy for her. She didn't ask for this. I see her struggle. I feel fine, I can still do things we used to do together and it makes me sad. We adapt, but it is not the same.

Lets all work together to vent our frustrations here so we don't take it home. We are here for each other.

Good to meet you. And, I understand more than you know.
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[dalechilders51]

I just read this post last night and felt compelled to share. I'm the other side of the coin, I'm a disabled oral surgeon living in assisted care in Wilmington. NC. I follow 22cyclist posts. Always to the point and well stated. I'm married to a neuro ICU nurse who opted out of the caregiver role currently separated. I admire and respect you for what you doing and would like to say thank you from a MS patient

[knuckle]

CycleSurgeon - I have posted about this many times...and I'll assume from this thread Cyclist22 has not tried LDN for cognitive issues.

Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) more often than not dramatically improves cognitive functions, "brain fog", etc. within a week or two of taking the stuff.

There's a sticky on the Medications Forum to do your research.

In particular, here's a link you should visit:

At the bottom are 135+ interviews of people taking LDN, many women who discuss cognitive issues.

I have taken LDN now for five years. I've had MS for about 25 years and have taken most of the drugs. I am Founder/Editor of so will be happy to answer any questions if you are interested in giving LDN a try.

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[CycleSurgeon]

Thank You

I just read this post last night and felt compelled to share. I'm the other side of the coin, I'm a disabled oral surgeon living in assisted care in Wilmington. NC. I follow 22cyclist posts. Always to the point and well stated. I'm married to a neuro ICU nurse who opted out of the caregiver role currently separated. I admire and respect you for what you doing and would like to say thank you from a MS patient

Sorry I have not been on for a while. I appreciate your post. I am sorry about your situation. That is so tough. I hope you are taken care of in Wilmington.

Thanks for the kind words about my wife. She is very smart. She is just not as fast as she used to be and it frustrates her. She complains she has to spell check every word.

She now is going to have to use her walker to get around the house and a scooter for outside. It bruised her pride I must say, but she has many brainstem lesions that affect her balance so it is the safest thing for her.

It is hard, as you know, to go from a wide open medical professional, and athlete, to someone dependent on others.

I wish you the best my friend. 22 is always on, you can talk to her too. She is a good friend to have. She is now a moderator. I am sure she would love to hear from you if you are on some time.

Take care of yourself buddy.

Jason

[CycleSurgeon]

Thank you: I will check it out with her!

[Wordsgood]

CycleSurgeon, would you mind if I asked my husband to email you? If it's not a good time, that's okay too. Just thought I would ask.

He's having a really hard time coming to grips with this and while he's done a great job of helping in any way he can, but his frustration is coming out in other ways. I'm afraid if he doesn't find a way to deal with it soon, he might end in the hospital himself.

There are, of course, lots of side issues that having nothing to do with me finally being diagnosed, but this seems to have been a tipping point for him. Mostly, I think, because he can't "fix it" for me.

I also follow as many post of your wife's as I can and find her most helpful and informative.

Also, I wanted to say that it's really great to hear a surgeon willing to admit he doesn't know everything, and willing to reach out to others for support and education. I wish you could both do worldwide tours targeted at other healthcare professionals so they could see there is no shame in not knowing everything! You could also teach them a thing or two about bedside manners!

[CycleSurgeon]

CycleSurgeon, would you mind if I asked my husband to email you? If it's not a good time, that's okay too. Just thought I would ask.

He's having a really hard time coming to grips with this and while he's done a great job of helping in any way he can, but his frustration is coming out in other ways. I'm afraid if he doesn't find a way to deal with it soon, he might end in the hospital himself.

There are, of course, lots of side issues that having nothing to do with me finally being diagnosed, but this seems to have been a tipping point for him. Mostly, I think, because he can't "fix it" for me.

I also follow as many post of your wife's as I can and find her most helpful and informative.

Also, I wanted to say that it's really great to hear a surgeon willing to admit he doesn't know everything, and willing to reach out to others for support and education. I wish you could both do worldwide tours targeted at other healthcare professionals so they could see there is no shame in not knowing everything! You could also teach them a thing or two about bedside manners!

Sure he can email me I will be happy to chat with him. My email is on my profile.

[Wordsgood]

Thank YOu!

Much appreciated, CycleSurgeon!

I spoke to him he thinks it might be a good idea if you were willing. I'd send give him your email. At the moment we have a small crisis with one of our kids who is on her way over for some parental comfort, but he will be in touch and we both want to thank you for your kindness!