Living with Housemate with advanced MS (in denial)

[KatieDidNOT]

I have no professional training and am not an expert on anything.... So if this sounds like crap advise to you...It probably is.

I think this is really sage advice...and I think you laid it out very well.

[jenphilly]

When is it none of our business.... hmmm, tough to tell someone we love, hey its okay, go ahead and destroy yourself. From the sound of this, K is in a major state of depression and honestly, not able to make a good decision for himself.

Pitchman - Have you asked K about someone going to the doctors with him? I have just taken this approach with my daughter's best friend. The kid is like my daughter and her mom feels now that she is 20, she is old enough to deal with things herself. Sorry, but to me, being a mom doesn't stop because the kids turn 18. I've been going to doctor visits with her, will go into the room with her if she wants me to. She went for an MRI and I drove her so driving was one thing she did not have to worry about and there was someone sitting in the waiting room for her. My whole point is that she doesn't have to go thru this alone. Do you think maybe K has that need to know there is someone with him? Any chance that facing reality of his health is more then he can deal with alone? Regardless if he works and pays his bills, doesn't mean he's not scared and needs someone there for support.

I don't know if there is much more you can force him to do, but you know interventions are popular these days for a reason.... They do force people to deal with their issues at the same time they present a united front for people who care about that person and are there for no other reason to support him. Does K have other friends that would participate? Might be the wake up call he needs. On the other hand, he might get livid and tell you to leave, so just be prepared for all possible ways this might end.

Is there anything else in K's life you have not shared that might be the destructive driving force in his behavior? A broken marriage, lost love, lost child?

I hope you can find whatever that answer is to give him back the love of life and desire to save himself. I have seen someone do this and while it was not a close friend, it was still difficult to see someone just destroy themselves slowly over time. We all shake our heads and say what a shame, but you're neck deep paddling like heck to find a way to help your friend, I think you deserve to be applauded.

Any chance you could convince him to visit this website and hear the stories of people who are living full lives despite what MS tries to say....

Hugs,

Jen