In 2006, shortly after my mother passed away, I met a man who I felt was my soul mate. We were married three months later, bought a house, and moved his mother and brother in to an apartment in our basement. His mom is on Social Security (very low amount), but helps out on the bills, and his brother lost his job several years ago and because of his age, hasn't been able to find another.
My husband turned out to be very emotionally abusive and was starting to become physically abusive as well. I left him twice, but went back because he promised to change. That change never happened, so I left for the third and last time back in January 2010, and I never went back. We're still married, though we're planning to file divorce this year when the income tax refund arrives. I've maintained a friendly relationship with him and his family because I love his mom. She became like my surrogate mom after my mom died.
I've been helping them financially because he's disabled and gets SSDI and is on food stamps. The house payments are too much for him to pay, and I don't want his elderly mom to have to go through another move. He's been trying to work with the mortgage company and the HEMP program to get the interest rate on the house lowered for the last year and a half, but who knows when or if that will happen. (He had the house up for sale after I left, but houses just aren't selling in this area.)
I just found out yesterday that he had bought an iPad a few months ago after selling a laptop computer he didn't need. It upset me because here I am sacrificing to help him and his family to the point that I can't get medical care or medications that I need, and he's using money he should be paying bills with to buy expensive electronics that he rarely ever uses.
Should I continue to help his family financially for his mom's sake or should I tell him that enough is enough? He has a way of making me feel guilty for leaving in the first place and putting them all in a bad spot financially.
I know this really doesn't pertain to MS, except in the sense that it affects my ability financially to pay for medical care I need. (I needed to have the other cataract removed from my left eye in December, but couldn't do it because I still owe the doctor from my first cataract surgery. Now my $1,000 deductible has kicked back in, and who knows when I'll ever be able to have the surgery done. I also do without my meds sometimes because I can't afford to get them.)
Thanks for your input.
Lisa
My husband turned out to be very emotionally abusive and was starting to become physically abusive as well. I left him twice, but went back because he promised to change. That change never happened, so I left for the third and last time back in January 2010, and I never went back. We're still married, though we're planning to file divorce this year when the income tax refund arrives. I've maintained a friendly relationship with him and his family because I love his mom. She became like my surrogate mom after my mom died.
I've been helping them financially because he's disabled and gets SSDI and is on food stamps. The house payments are too much for him to pay, and I don't want his elderly mom to have to go through another move. He's been trying to work with the mortgage company and the HEMP program to get the interest rate on the house lowered for the last year and a half, but who knows when or if that will happen. (He had the house up for sale after I left, but houses just aren't selling in this area.)
I just found out yesterday that he had bought an iPad a few months ago after selling a laptop computer he didn't need. It upset me because here I am sacrificing to help him and his family to the point that I can't get medical care or medications that I need, and he's using money he should be paying bills with to buy expensive electronics that he rarely ever uses.
Should I continue to help his family financially for his mom's sake or should I tell him that enough is enough? He has a way of making me feel guilty for leaving in the first place and putting them all in a bad spot financially.
I know this really doesn't pertain to MS, except in the sense that it affects my ability financially to pay for medical care I need. (I needed to have the other cataract removed from my left eye in December, but couldn't do it because I still owe the doctor from my first cataract surgery. Now my $1,000 deductible has kicked back in, and who knows when I'll ever be able to have the surgery done. I also do without my meds sometimes because I can't afford to get them.)
Thanks for your input.
Lisa
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