Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

not sure what to do..

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    not sure what to do..

    My BF keeps telling me all the time to "move on" from my DX.. that I'm "crabby" all the time, always making me feel worse then what I normally would have, making me feel guilty anout not getting stuff done, or that I am usually in bed by the time he gets off work....
    just so sick of him making me feel worse. I love him and we have 2 kids together, but I'm spiralling down pretty quickly and I feel like he is a big part of it. He is also the breadwinner... not to be taken the wrong way, its just that even with my 40 hrs a week I still manage to get in, I would not be able to get my own place, pay for all my meds, and still be able to have insurance for me and my 2 kids. Just stuck in a hard place and wondering advice I guess..... Deep down I know there isn't anyway I can handle his constant mood changing comments, yet I don't know if I have a choice....
    Tags: None
    #2
    It sounds like you are in a rough spot. There are so many more questions than answers before I'd want to give you any advice. Especially advice about weather you should stay in your relationship.

    How long ago were you diagnosed?

    How are you feeling about your diagnosis of MS?

    Has your ability to do activities of daily living changed recently?

    How is your mood?

    What is stopping you from getting things done, is it physical limitations, emotional or a combination?


    All these questions aside, I hope you get things sorted out and you are feeling better soon.

    Comment

      #3
      I would definitely see your neurologist for a check up and medication adjustment if you haven't already. No great advice about your relationship especially since it sounds like you are stuck with him based on financial reasons.
      He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
      Anonymous

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by CanadianGirl View Post
        It sounds like you are in a rough spot. There are so many more questions than answers before I'd want to give you any advice. Especially advice about weather you should stay in your relationship.

        How long ago were you diagnosed?

        How are you feeling about your diagnosis of MS?

        Has your ability to do activities of daily living changed recently?

        How is your mood?

        What is stopping you from getting things done, is it physical limitations, emotional or a combination?


        All these questions aside, I hope you get things sorted out and you are feeling better soon.
        I suppose I didnt really give enough info, huh? Well, I'll start with the fact that I was just diagnosed back in 03-11, however, my first recorded symptoms were back in 2001, at the tender age of only 19. I have been with the same guy since about age 15. With my dx of RRMS, I was actually somewhat relieved to finally put all the pieces together. Over the years, I was told carpel tunnel for numb hands, back issues/bulging discs for pain,tingling,numbness, and a LOT of "tightness" in my back, feet, and butt(spasticity). When I had my 1st MRI back in 03-11, I had 4 lesions... I now have 9 in my brain and 1 on my upper spine(in less then 5 mos). I started Rebif right away, and took it until about 3 weeks ago when my nuero told me to stop due to awful sife effects. When I was on it, I would wake up several times in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, to the point where I would to change clothes atleast 2-3 times/night. My sleep is now finally improving, so which is great.

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by JDWink View Post
          Deep down I know there isn't anyway I can handle his constant mood changing comments, yet I don't know if I have a choice....
          You always have a choice...some are just more difficult than others.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Windwalker View Post
            You always have a choice...some are just more difficult than others.
            Any ideas on how to make it on your own? I know I have a choice, I just don't know I would be able to start the process. I have asked him to go to couseling, and I've asked him to stop drinking(which usually causes all the awful comments).... I have been with him for over half of my life, have never lived anywhere else but with him. I have no idea where to even begin.

            Comment

              #7
              it's is becoming too much....

              He may not be abusive but I can tell you from experience his behavior will affect your kids. It will affect your health. I lived with it my whole life.


              Can you get insurance through your job? They have a law that says they can't deny you for pre-exising condition if you have already been on an insurance plan. has your BF been to any of your neurology appointments with you so the doc can explain things to him directly???? That actually made a HUGE difference when I had my ex go with me and the doc laid it on the line (it's not why we are divorced, other issues there).

              I know it is and will affect my kids, and I feel it is making me progress faster. The other night he made a huge whole in the wall and then told my 5 yr old his hammer slipped and that he would have to help him fix it. My son is very smart and those ridiculous lies won't hold up much longer. I have 2 boys and it scares me they will have "tempers" themselves. I try and justify it because usually it is after the kids are in bed when he gets home from work and makes his first drink. They also know not to wake him up in the morning because he is always hungover.
              Sorry to ramble, none of this is really related to MS, It just feels good to let it all out.
              As far as having him go with me, he has gone to every single DR. appt that I have been too, it does NO good. He still thinks I am superwoman and questions why or points out things I did/didn't do all the time.
              Anyone know if there is help out there for the cost of counseling? My insurance doesnt cover it, and y'all don't need to hear about all this non-MS stuff.
              ANY advice would be awesome...thanks

              Comment

                #8
                Al-Anon might be a good, free first step. You deserve better and most of all your children don't deserve to live like this. If he isn't willing to realize that he has a problem with alcohol separating might be the only answer. He would have to pay child support which would add to your income.
                He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                Anonymous

                Comment

                  #9
                  Look for a counselor for yourself.
                  It's difficult to just move on with life after a diagnosis of MS.

                  You are in the grieving process right now. Life is different and anyone would grieve that. It is normal.

                  Remind him and yourself you didn't ask for this disease.
                  No one does.

                  Read him some of the posts that are on here.
                  There can't be blame on the person with the disease.
                  MS is an unwelcome intruder that will not go away.

                  Meds can help with the disease, but MS doesn't have a cure right now.

                  Maybe consider Copaxone? It is the easiest on the body my neuro told me. I must be a wimp because it has worked well for me.

                  I'm sorry for all that is happening.
                  Stress is not good, so please share that with all of the family.

                  Glad you are here. Please be good to yourself and remember doors open to those who ask.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    i agree with everyones advice so far, and can think of nothing new to add. just know that you are always welcome to express yourself here.

                    dave
                    hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
                    volunteer
                    MS World
                    hunterd@msworld.org
                    PPMS DX 2001

                    "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...
                    X