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Wife's RARE MS beating me down

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    Personality Disorder

    My wife of 25 years then DX in 2004. Type A person, highly intelligent (4.0 MBA), etc. Couldn't take Rebif - to many side effects, allergic reaction to Copaxone, since late 2007 infused monthly with IVIG. Only uses a walking stick for balance. Slow start in the morning, some fatigue, some cognitive issues (Aricept helps).

    However, in the intervening 9 years, she has tasered me, moved out of the bedroom for a year, hit me with trashcans, thrown many varied and sundry things at me, been arrested for assaulting a police officer, assaulted our grown daughter in front of our grandkids, assaulted our son for making a fire "wrong" in the fireplace, threatened to "break his bones" while he was recuperating from an operation, leapt on the church nurse's car as it was moving, asked not to come back after volunteering at over 4 different charities, asked to leave courses she's tried to take at some colleges around us. Some friends of ours are scared of her - less than 5'4", less than 120lbs.

    Going on several rants lasting anywhere from 1/2 to a full hour that can be set off by saying a medicine I take has no taste or I was dropping Bible study or she felt our son did not answer her phone call with enough respect. Or a lady in her prayer group looked at her watch while my wife was talking.

    Most recently, she accused me of having an affair, stealing money from her, plotting to have her "put away", "hacking" into her e-mail, monitoring her computer and filed for divorce; getting a restraining order against me after she again threw a sugar bowl at me, broke off a necklace I was wearing, ripped the shirt I had on, kicked me in the stomach and groin to the point I had to leave. She sent e-mails to my work telling them I'm stealing from them and they needed to watch out for me.

    This after spending $100,000 remodeling the house, along with cruises in the Mediterranean and the Caribbean in the last 3 years.

    I've had Pastors tell me to give it up, the police have said to me I need to look after myself, therapists have told me to stay away. But how do I reconcile this against now 30+ years of marriage and the knowledge that it is the MS that's causing this?

    Comment


      Originally posted by Trying Hard Spouse View Post
      My wife of 25 years then DX in 2004. Type A person, highly intelligent (4.0 MBA), etc. Couldn't take Rebif - to many side effects, allergic reaction to Copaxone, since late 2007 infused monthly with IVIG. Only uses a walking stick for balance. Slow start in the morning, some fatigue, some cognitive issues (Aricept helps).

      However, in the intervening 9 years, she has tasered me, moved out of the bedroom for a year, hit me with trashcans, thrown many varied and sundry things at me, been arrested for assaulting a police officer, assaulted our grown daughter in front of our grandkids, assaulted our son for making a fire "wrong" in the fireplace, threatened to "break his bones" while he was recuperating from an operation, leapt on the church nurse's car as it was moving, asked not to come back after volunteering at over 4 different charities, asked to leave courses she's tried to take at some colleges around us. Some friends of ours are scared of her - less than 5'4", less than 120lbs.

      Going on several rants lasting anywhere from 1/2 to a full hour that can be set off by saying a medicine I take has no taste or I was dropping Bible study or she felt our son did not answer her phone call with enough respect. Or a lady in her prayer group looked at her watch while my wife was talking.

      Most recently, she accused me of having an affair, stealing money from her, plotting to have her "put away", "hacking" into her e-mail, monitoring her computer and filed for divorce; getting a restraining order against me after she again threw a sugar bowl at me, broke off a necklace I was wearing, ripped the shirt I had on, kicked me in the stomach and groin to the point I had to leave. She sent e-mails to my work telling them I'm stealing from them and they needed to watch out for me.

      This after spending $100,000 remodeling the house, along with cruises in the Mediterranean and the Caribbean in the last 3 years.

      I've had Pastors tell me to give it up, the police have said to me I need to look after myself, therapists have told me to stay away. But how do I reconcile this against now 30+ years of marriage and the knowledge that it is the MS that's causing this?
      I would recommend calling a crisis worker at your human service agency, seems to me she needs to be psychiatrically admitted to hospital for help. good luck

      Comment


        Trying Hard Spouse...

        Something is wrong! Is her primary aware of this?
        When did this severe behavior start?

        It could be other things than M.S.
        This type of behavior is often Opiate Addiction
        Or some sort of brain tumor

        Or, a clear opinion of:
        "No one is more important than me" syndrome...

        All of the above have interventions...and she desperately needs one! In the meantime; go save yourself, you deserve better! Hope she can be 'helped,' as only the willing can be helped. fed

        Comment


          I am so sorry things have gotten so bad. I have read your posts since I joined in 2010. I will pray for you and your wife and for peace for your souls.

          Comment


            Originally posted by Trying Hard Spouse View Post
            My wife of 25 years then DX in 2004. Type A person, highly intelligent (4.0 MBA), etc. Couldn't take Rebif - to many side effects, allergic reaction to Copaxone, since late 2007 infused monthly with IVIG. Only uses a walking stick for balance. Slow start in the morning, some fatigue, some cognitive issues (Aricept helps).

            However, in the intervening 9 years, she has tasered me, moved out of the bedroom for a year, hit me with trashcans, thrown many varied and sundry things at me, been arrested for assaulting a police officer, assaulted our grown daughter in front of our grandkids, assaulted our son for making a fire "wrong" in the fireplace, threatened to "break his bones" while he was recuperating from an operation, leapt on the church nurse's car as it was moving, asked not to come back after volunteering at over 4 different charities, asked to leave courses she's tried to take at some colleges around us. Some friends of ours are scared of her - less than 5'4", less than 120lbs.

            Going on several rants lasting anywhere from 1/2 to a full hour that can be set off by saying a medicine I take has no taste or I was dropping Bible study or she felt our son did not answer her phone call with enough respect. Or a lady in her prayer group looked at her watch while my wife was talking.

            Most recently, she accused me of having an affair, stealing money from her, plotting to have her "put away", "hacking" into her e-mail, monitoring her computer and filed for divorce; getting a restraining order against me after she again threw a sugar bowl at me, broke off a necklace I was wearing, ripped the shirt I had on, kicked me in the stomach and groin to the point I had to leave. She sent e-mails to my work telling them I'm stealing from them and they needed to watch out for me.

            This after spending $100,000 remodeling the house, along with cruises in the Mediterranean and the Caribbean in the last 3 years.

            I've had Pastors tell me to give it up, the police have said to me I need to look after myself, therapists have told me to stay away. But how do I reconcile this against now 30+ years of marriage and the knowledge that it is the MS that's causing this?

            If I can ask, what form of MS was she DX with? My DW was finally DX with MS Dementia in 09 and knowing that DX we have been able to ( after a long battle ) get a "handle" on it and find some treatment for her.

            See if you can have a neuro psych evaluation done on her and brain MRI's done.

            Trust me I feel and can understand how this is affecting you. Hang in there the answer is out there "don't give up, don't ever give up" do it for the love you have for her.

            Comment


              Reply to this thread moved to here:
              https://www.msworld.org/forum/showth...=1#post1521822

              A new member has a mother going through similar symptoms; is looking for advice.
              ~ Faith
              MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
              (now a Mimibug)

              Symptoms began in JAN02
              - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
              - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
              .

              - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
              - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

              Comment

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