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    Hey Everyone

    Hey Im Shawntel! I really hate to put this all out there but I need to vent so if u read it thank you

    I first starting having symptoms of MS in May 2007 When I was 23. Went to the Dr in California and they told me it probably was MS. I told my husband and family and they all said no. It was in my head. There's no way. Its just stress... Blah blah blah. So I started thinking the way they did and didnt go back for more testing even tho my best friend encouraged me to.

    Still continued to have symptoms (numbness, tingling, fatigue, balance and brain fog) until I moved to Kansas in 2010. I finally decided after 2 weeks of not being able to feel my fingers on my left hand it was time. My Dr. being AMAZING immediately sent me for testing. He had an EMG and MRI done along with a lot of blood work. They found lesions and that my ulnar nerve had damage. Sent me to a neuro in town who was HORRIBLE. He didnt listen, wouldnt answer questions straight.. nothing but after more MRI's and a spinal tap he diagnosed me with RRMS Jan 13th, 2012.

    Fast forward to this year. My husband and I are separated, he cheated. I met this guy last year who was awesome. After months and months of talking and him being there for me while I slowly opened up. It was great. My family doesnt like him and he doesnt like them. My family thinks I should work it out with my ex. I dont want to.

    Anyway, I have no one to really talk to about this bc no body has taken the initiative to educate themselves, even tho Ive basically begged them. My bf just says he doesnt believe in depression and I choose to be like this and that Im negative all the time. My parents are in denial and my sisters are in their own world. I dont really talk to anyone else in my family.

    I dont really know what to do! Any advice on how to get them to educate or at least be empathetic?

    Hi Shawntel, I'm so sorry that you don't have any support from your family. That makes what you are going thru so much harder! I understand how you feel b/c that is how it was for me when I was first dx. Most of my family have since accepted my situation, but they will never truly understand. I have found that if you take one of your family members (for me it was my mom or my husband) to the doctor with you and they hear it from the dr they may start to accept it better.

    People who don't deal with this disease personally can never understand completely what we go thru everyday. Hang in there and hopefully we can both find support and empathy from some on this message board.



      Yes, Shawntel,
      we are all in this mess together. I am feeling so miserable, I can't even explain it. We're in this mess together, and yet we're all alone.
      The fact that you have found someone who understands you and what you are going through. I wish you the best.
      If your family doesn't understand where you are coming from, you must do what is right for you. Just feeling accepted feels real good, so you got to do what feels good.
      Good luck


        Hi Shawnte, please don't apologize for venting here, it's part of the reason this board is so informative and compassionate. Sorry you're not able to get your family to understand but I think that's more the norm with this disease.

        You may be wasting precious energy trying to educate them when they're not open to learn, for whatever reason. It's sometimes easier and less frustrating to keep them on a "need to know" basis.

        I hope you feel free to come here and get a whole lot of support... the old saying "You have to get MS... to GET MS" is so true.
        RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
        "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."


          Is there a National MS society support group close to you? That might be the place to start to find support.

          My family has been supportive but, admittedly, misinformed about MS. The extreme seems to go from thinking it's no big deal to thinking I'm dying - it's been a lot to handle! I think that just dealing with family has been the hardest part of the diagnosis. But they are getting better as time goes on. The problem has been them going to the web and searching for MS and finding a thousand frightening webpages about how I'm withering away before their eyes. After that, they're either writing my eulogy or refusing to acknowledge the diagnosis at all.

          Give them time to come to terms with the dx - as many people on here will tell you, this is a dx that affects the whole family, and everyone will process it on their own time. In the meantime, try to find an MS support group that will be a little more removed from the situation and empathetic. Best wishes!


            Hi Shawntel, Welcome to the site. You've come to the right place for support and information. Your problem is common for alot of us ie. getting family and friends to understand. It is really hard for people without MS to understand it. I think you made a good move coming here where we do understand. I wish I could give you some advice, mainly be sure to take care of your self. You mentioned depression and that can be treated. Reach out for help when you need it. Come here often and take care. Dale
            Dale in NC, dx'ed 2000, now SPMS


              Hello and Welcome Shantel!

              For starters, I'd stop worrying about how to educate others and learn to focus on you. You are the important person in all of this. You owe it to yourself to have people in your life that are understanding of what you're going through. If you don't have any, you should find some.

              Find yourself a support system, you have us for starters. Maybe you find a local MS chapter in your area that can offer you support. Another way is to find yourself new friends.

              You may also want to consider counseling. A local counselor could guide you to services in your community.

              We're always here for information, support, and caring! Feel free to ask questions and read the forums. You can vent if you have to.

              Again, welcome to our MS Family.
              When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!


                Welcome! I am in a similar situation, although my husband supports me, he hasn't found away to incorporate MS into the picture yet, but neither have I.

                I am working on it and have to have faith that he will also. Keep your chin up and keep seeking out resources and people that understand.