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confounding nature of paranoia

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    confounding nature of paranoia

    The reason I know it's paranoia is bc I can imagine the responses of people when I bring my concerns to them. But it feels real. How can thoughts have feelings. But I try to rationalize out the pros and cons of the arguments for and against believing I'm right as well as the pros and cons of believing the validity of such thoughts and it's so much easier to believe that people are trying to drive me crazy by causing small but unexplainable things to happen.

    Just one of 5 things that have happened today: I leave the room and when I come back the tv has changed to channel 11. You can't do that by sitting on the remote because you'd have to sit on it then get up then sit on it again, not to mention the fact that my bum wouldn't depress just one button. And it was next to me not under me. I know it's so dumb but you add up all these unexplainable events and it's hard to not be ruffled. I feel like I'm being bullied.

    Either way it's like chinese water torture and one day I'm gonna have enough of this bs. I go from depression to unhinged. Where's the delirious mania? I don't think this is bipolar I don't know what it is but I hate it I'm sooo sick of it.

    I'm just venting there's nothing to say bc I know all the rational arguments I'm just so unnerved and frankly it's very frightening and I can't get mad bc there's no one to get mad at.

    #2
    sardi_g,

    Sorry to hear you are struggling. I can imagine how unnerving it must be. Have you discussed your concerns with your neuro and psychiatrist? I am assuming you see a psychiatrist for your depression, is that correct? Please don't hold anything back from your doctors. Let them know what you said here, that it may be paranoia, but it feels real to you. If it is paranoia, they can work with you on it.

    You mentioned you feel like you are being bullied. Is this at home? work? some other source?

    I hope you can find some relief from these feelings.
    Kathy
    DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

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      #3
      Hello sardi g ~

      I hope that you are feeling better today, and that you are experiencing some measure of peace.

      Take Care
      PPMS for 22 years (dx 1998)
      ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

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        #4
        Thank you both. I did speak with my pdoc and we made an med adjustment. Sometimes it can be as simple as that. No, the bullying is all in my head I meant, sorry to be unclear. I wish I could take that back bc I don't want to impinge on what people feel when they are being bullied by someone. This is all self-inflicted.

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          #5
          Originally posted by sardi_g View Post
          Thank you both. I did speak with my pdoc and we made an med adjustment. Sometimes it can be as simple as that. No, the bullying is all in my head I meant, sorry to be unclear. I wish I could take that back bc I don't want to impinge on what people feel when they are being bullied by someone. This is all self-inflicted.
          Thank you sardi, for letting us know what's going on.

          Hoping for you that your med adjustment helps.

          Good luck!

          Take Care
          PPMS for 22 years (dx 1998)
          ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

          Comment


            #6
            Glad to hear better sardi_g. Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves. I hope you can turn that internal bully off.
            Kathy
            DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

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