Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Might run out of meds... can't breath from panic attacks

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Might run out of meds... can't breath from panic attacks

    So my Doctor is an incompetent moron who can't seem to answer a fax for my medication refill. So I am probably going to run out. I have been calling the doctors office every hour the past two days (since I found out this was an issue). What are the chances that I will have a flare since I will die before EVERY spending another night in a hospital. What is the likelihood of a flare from being off medication for a shortish time?

    I am having horrible panic attacks because of this. I am pretty sure I almost just died because I was not able to breath because I was having such a bad anxiety/panic attack.

    #2
    Each med is different, but remain in our systems for awhile. If you changed needs, some require you to be off other meds for a period.

    I can understand how upset you are with your doctor's office. But for your own health, you have to let go of the anxiety and stress. MS or not, it does not help. And with MS, can contribute to inflammation that can raise odds of a relapse. All the more reason to see a therapist and let them help you develop skills to deal with the hand you have been dealt. I went to give me a safe place to get my fears out without worrying family or friends. That alone was huge. She then worked with me on my response to my fears and stress. Just something to think about.
    Kathy
    DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

    Comment


      #3
      [QUOTE=pennstater;1511101].Iímn not so much worried about running out of meds as I am about a flare that lands me in the hospital. I canít miss that much work again and not have people talk. One hospital stay/being sick In 5 years isnít a big deal. A second hospital stay less than a year later shows I was probably lying about the reason. I know they donít need to know but people talk and are nosy.

      I had actually considered a therapist, but I just canít get past the feeling that I donít deserve to be happy and I donít deserve anything good in life. This curse has changed me from someone who had hopes and dreams and friends to a recluse who talks to only my boyfriend and comes home from work and tries different anxiety or otc meds until I stop feeling pain. I miss being happy and I miss being excited about things.

      Comment


        #4
        [QUOTE=Daisycat;1511107]
        Originally posted by pennstater View Post
        .

        I had actually considered a therapist, but I just canít get past the feeling that I donít deserve to be happy and I donít deserve anything good in life. This curse has changed me from someone who had hopes and dreams and friends to a recluse who talks to only my boyfriend and comes home from work and tries different anxiety or otc meds until I stop feeling pain. I miss being happy and I miss being excited about things.
        All the more reason to see a therapist. You recognize how this has affected you. Is this how you want to live your life? What you have been trying doesn't appear to be working for you. We all deserve to be happy.

        Take a step back and think if a friend or loved one was struggling with a diagnosis of MS, how would you react? Would you blame them, tell them they deserve it, and oh sorry, but you should remain anxious, depressed, and unhappy? Probably not. So be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would a friend. Do things that you used to enjoy.
        Kathy
        DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

        Comment


          #5
          I don't want to live my life like this , but my problem is anytime I try to do anything to make myself happy I feel guilty because I don't think I deserve it. There are the "normals" who I feel deserve it more than I do. If a friend was diagnosed with this a year ago i would be doing everything I could to help them be happy and deal. If it happened today I would probably be the worst person for them to talk to. I wouldn't tell them they deserved it or deserved a bad life , but I wouldn't be able to give them any advice on how to deal because knowing how my life might turn out any second of any day leaves me a crying mess. If I didn't have to work I would never leave my couch. I think if I felt like I deserved a good life I might have an easier time seeing a therapist.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Daisycat View Post
            I don't want to live my life like this , but my problem is anytime I try to do anything to make myself happy I feel guilty because I don't think I deserve it. There are the "normals" who I feel deserve it more than I do. If a friend was diagnosed with this a year ago i would be doing everything I could to help them be happy and deal. If it happened today I would probably be the worst person for them to talk to. I wouldn't tell them they deserved it or deserved a bad life , but I wouldn't be able to give them any advice on how to deal because knowing how my life might turn out any second of any day leaves me a crying mess. If I didn't have to work I would never leave my couch. I think if I felt like I deserved a good life I might have an easier time seeing a therapist.
            You can't live in the future Daisy. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. Plenty of healthy prople will meet their fate in accidents and what not. Don't give in, you have to fight. Live for and enjoy today. Tomorrow will come in time so get off the couch and find something to do. Keep it going.
            The future depends on what you do today.- Gandhi

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Daisycat View Post
              I think if I felt like I deserved a good life I might have an easier time seeing a therapist.
              A therapist can help you realize you deserve a good life.

              In your response above, you said if you had a friend who was diagnosed, you wouldn't blame them or tell them they deserved a bad life, so please treat yourself the same way. You may not have the answers on how to deal with the diagnosis, but you know it is wrong to berate someone because of MS. You have to stop beating yourself up. It will be really hard to move forward unless you do.
              Kathy
              DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by pennstater View Post
                A therapist can help you realize you deserve a good life.

                In your response above, you said if you had a friend who was diagnosed, you wouldn't blame them or tell them they deserved a bad life, so please treat yourself the same way. You may not have the answers on how to deal with the diagnosis, but you know it is wrong to berate someone because of MS. You have to stop beating yourself up. It will be really hard to move forward unless you do.

                I cannot stop being ashamed of this curse and disgusted with myself. I just can't live with this curse. I want more out of life than what ms will eventually provide me with. I wouldn't berate someone else because of this diagnosis but I feel that when it comes to myself I can. I pretty much live in fear that people at my job will find out and I will have to quit that day. The shame and humiliation would be too much.

                Comment


                  #9
                  At this point, I don't know what else to say. You have to want to feel better and take steps to make it happen. You seem to want to punish yourself. A very tough way to go about your days.
                  Kathy
                  DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Daisycat - I have read your posts (all of them) and while you appear to be going through what ALL of us here have been through, you are just stuck!

                    I was dx'ed in 1995. I'll do the math for you - 23 years ago. I started having problems with no answers in 1990, so if you want to go from that date I have lived with this for 28 years. Since then I have raised 3 children, bought a house and 2 cars (well I am paying on a new one now that I got 2 weeks ago). I still walk unaided (most days) drive unassisted (have to do all driving now since husband's stroke) take care of ALL house and yard chores and am caretaker of not only myself but my husband also. I have 7 dogs, 2 cats and 16 chickens that I take care of daily to include hauling 50 pound bags of feed. I also have a beautiful granddaughter that loves to come out and stay with her 'silly grandma'.

                    Yes I DID lose a job that I loved because of MS - after 18 years, but I have found that my life is actually better now than trying to balance work and things that I want to do.

                    Bottom line is that it is YOUR CHOICE. You decide if you want to be stuck where you are or if you want to take some of the suggestions that have been given to you.

                    Wishing the best for you, but as I said it is your choice.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I donít have anything without my job. I donít have kids (never wanted them) and all my hobbies include things this disease will take from me. Saving up to open my animal rescue and actually working there when I was old was my dream. If Iím even mildly disabled it wonít happen. And Iíll be a lot less disappointed if I just give up now than I would be in 30ish years when I was about to retire and had my dreams crushed or if I lose my job in 2 years. As much as I love watching Netflix and sleeping doing that for the next how ever many years Iíd live would get old.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Daisycat View Post
                        I donít have anything without my job. I donít have kids (never wanted them) and all my hobbies include things this disease will take from me. Saving up to open my animal rescue and actually working there when I was old was my dream. If Iím even mildly disabled it wonít happen. And Iíll be a lot less disappointed if I just give up now than I would be in 30ish years when I was about to retire and had my dreams crushed or if I lose my job in 2 years. As much as I love watching Netflix and sleeping doing that for the next how ever many years Iíd live would get old.
                        Ok, so say you can't own your own shelter, which BTW is a very admirable goal, you can volunteer at another. Would it be any less meaningful?

                        You keep posting the same message to anyone who tries to help. Why? If you are trying to convince us that your vision is what MS is, forget it. We have lived with it and adjusted to it when needed.

                        Is it fair that anyone has it, no. Does it upset us at times, indulge in self-pity, make us fearful, or angry, of course. But from experience we have learned we can't stay in any if those places too long. The first year following diagnosis is a brutal roller coaster ride. But if you aren't starting to manage those emotions and come to acceptance, you need help.

                        Our combined experience on this board seems to be meaningless to you. I keep a journal of quotes that I take out when I need some help. Since our words are not helping, maybe someone else's will. The first quote is a personal favorite.

                        Dennis P. Kimbro:. "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it."

                        Oprah Winfrey - "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for."

                        Arthur Rubinstein - " I have found that if you love life, life will love you back."

                        H.T. Leslie - "The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well."

                        Abraham Lincoln - "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
                        Kathy
                        DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Daisycat - I don't watch TV, and have trouble sleeping (overactive Thyroids) AND I am too busy to lay around feeling sorry for myself anyhow. My husband requires help with everything - I have to help him dress, prepare food for him, do the bills and read the mail (the stroke took away 1/2 his eyesight and some cognitive function) and even put his medicines in weekly dosage boxes - and watch to ensure that he takes his insulin as he is supposed to.

                          All of my animals are 'rescues' except for the chickens. At one point I bred dogs (min pins and shelties) but lost too much money on that to keep it up (I guess that I wanted to 'spoil' them too much ).

                          There are other things that I do (volunteer work) but I am not suggesting that you follow in everything that occupies me. I posted all that I do after almost 30 years with MS to let you know that this IS NOT a death sentence. Yeah I have had to make some modifications, but not too many.

                          I will also tell you that right after I bought my home was when I was dx'ed with MS. I was going thru a divorce and raising my 3 children AND working full time and going to school at that time. Yes i was devastated, and to be honest I kinda gave up (for about a year). I love the outside (flowers and trees) but I refused to purchase anything for my new home for fear that I wouldn't be able to take care of it "some day". I was the same way with animals - I was afraid that I couldn't care for them "some day". All that I did then was work and care for my children.

                          That was a pitiful life, and I finally realized that I did not want to exist without some of the things that I wanted in my life. THAT was when I started living again, and haven't stopped yet!
                          IMHO - you will be VERY disappointed in 30ish years when you realize that you threw your life away because of fears about "what ifs" that never happened.

                          I believe that everyone on this forum has had a similar story, and it is encouraging to see that most are still doing great. Yeah some of us are slowing down, but we are much older and so it could be from aging and NOT MS.

                          Oh - I didn't try to hide my MS from the people that I worked with - in fact I used it when teaching (not my job, but an additional duty that I took on). I only had 1 person that had a negative reaction about it.

                          I can't convince you that you are worth the effort, but I could not let you think that your reasoning was based on facts (as even you allude to - "...IF I'm even mildly disabled ..."). Talk to a professional. They will be able to help you in the way that all of us here want to but aren't trained to do. Good luck.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by pennstater View Post
                            Dennis P. Kimbro:. "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it."
                            Great 1! THANK YOU.
                            All the best, ~G

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Yes it would be 100% less meaningful to volunteer at one since my goal was to retire one day and own a dog rescue. Volunteering at one just is not the same.

                              And I am not going to ever adjust to living with this curse. I will find out a way to prove I was misdiagnosed and sue the hospital fir millions for destroying my life. And no I do not need helpÖ accepting that my brain is rotting and that I have no future is something I WILL NOT do.
                              And as for your quotesÖ. I donít think life knows how to show love if making someone think they have this curse Is how it shows love.


                              And if I can ask why did you tell people you work with about this? I am so ashamed about this curse that I would have to quit my job if people found out.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X