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DX'ed last May, been hiding my emotions on everything since.

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    DX'ed last May, been hiding my emotions on everything since.

    hi, i am new to all of this, i know one other person with MS and i dont feel comfortable talking to them cuz they were only DX'ed in june of this year and i just feel really alone and family was very understanding at first but they don't seem to really care anymore. i have a son and a Fiance' but i can't let them see me like this i have to be strong around them.


    Sometimes being strong means letting your emotions show. We are all human. I definitely felt like you for awhile, but I cried quietly by myself at least. It is not healthy for you to keep them all in. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? I know everyone says that, but I finally took that advice a year after my diagnosis and I am hoping that helps me. I talk to my husband about it, but he just doesn't get it because he doesn't feel what I feel.

    This site brings a lot of support, but it is good to have support from your family and have someone to talk to. Have you looked on the ms society's website to find a support group (self-help group) near you? Some groups I hear are depressing, but the one near me is great so I know there are good ones out there. Don't give up if the first one isn't good. I wish you a lot of luck and hope you check back in with us.
    RRMS 10/2011 Sick and tired of being sick and tired!


      Hi mburchett6

      You may THINK you are hiding it from them, but they have ways of knowing something is wrong. Often those close to you will imagine the worst, being open usually helps calm their fears to.

      As to the other person
      you know recently Dx w/MS; You can bet they feel much the same way as you do and just as scared. In fact you two have more in common than with anyone else you might know. May I suggest you, be brave and make the first move. I am sure you know the saying," it takes one to know (or understand) one.

      Since BOTH of you are newly Dx'd you have more in common and greater chance of understanding than if either one of you had been Dx'd years ago.

      By opening up to the "other" MSer, you could be doing BOTH of you a huge favor.

      Please at least consider trying.

      Gomer Sir Falls-a-lot



        I thought I posted on this earlier, but I could be losing my mind again......haha. My Dr tried to get me to go on anti-depressants for a year. I was already on some because I have PTSD and chronic depression and anxiety, but this just brought on more. I now switched my medicines around to where one I take helps with my pain also and helps with my mood. She also begged for a year for me to see a therapist to talk to an unbiased person. I looked up someone that deals with chronic pain a lot and I have seen her twice now. I do believe she will help me. It is very important to be able to talk to your fiance about all of this as he is going to be in this for the long haul. He is going to have to understand all of this. You also have this great support group on MSWorld. I love this place and I am so thankful for it. I also went on ms society website and found self-help groups that meet in my area. There are usually a few in your area and some can be quite depressing. I am lucky that I found a great one on the first try. I have my email information in my contacts if you want to talk to me personally. I am good at helping people, but just can't take my own advice. I wish you lots of luck as I was once in your shoes and I know how it feels. Good luck
        RRMS 10/2011 Sick and tired of being sick and tired!


          hugs, mynamegoesinhere1

          hey there

          i hope you're feeling better today and have found a way to open up to your support network that works for you.
          although i'm not you i can relate to some of the themes i noticed in your post. i spent much of my life with post traumatic stress and it's attendant emotional issues. for me this meant encountering new sources of stress and blaming my neurological symptoms on anxiety rather than acknowledging the possibility. i also have many issues with trust and was deeply afraid of being rejected by my friends and family in general and in particular when the possibility of MS or related dx came up.

          i know this is hard and likely very frustrating, i feel cursed at the idea that a youth of PTS/Depression and then an adulthood of my immune system eating away at my brain is like a double whammy from hell. still for me it's ironically helping me realise that i can't ruminate on my past anymore, it's gone, it's done, and i'm not in any position to deal with it. the only thing i can do is focus on minimising how awful i feel right now and facing my new reality. am i accepting all the time? definitely not. but maybe me telling you this helps you as we have similar background.

          i was tempted to hide all my emotions and not tell my partner, my friends or my family (which i have a tenuous relationship with, mostly estranged). actually i moved house 4 years ago after my gp wanted to test me for MS and didn't even tell my new GP about it let alone anyone else. but hiding it wasn't good for me. i missed out on the opportunity to realise earlier just how much people care about me, to learn to trust, and to learn to ask for help (three things PTS people like us often struggle with), as well as to get the medicines I need and will likely be prescribed in time and ultimately, not keep getting sacked from jobs because i couldn't explain what was going on let alone that i had a disability and the right to understanding.

          so please, when you're ready, it is OK to ask for help, it is OK to express yourself, and it is OK to trust other people - this is earned and what a way to earn it but by showing someone that you care when they're experiencing a drama like this. also people tend to drift because they have their own lives to run and in the absence of clear information that tells them how they can support you, they just go back to default setting (deal with own problems). so feel free to be frank, direct, and open in your own way. also for people with trust issues (like me) asking for help is sometimes the hardest thing there is so think of asking for help as another show of your strength.

          Wishing everyone luck and as many good days as possible.


            Originally posted by Mynamegoeshere1 View Post
            Sometimes being strong means letting your emotions show.
            Ditto! So very well said. You will feel emotionally stronger, and you would be doing yourself a great favour by not hiding your feelings. My family also forgets I have MS and I am flattered in some sick and twisted way. Showing your feelings doesn't mean you're weak. You can practice on us if you like, there's so much knowledge and experience here!
            RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
            "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."


              Me too.

              We have all been where you are and some of us are still. I was dx'd four years ago. Now they are telling me they don't know if I have MS. or it may be mixed up with something else. That puts me back in limbo and my poor relatives are pretty confused as well as me. So I am starting all over again and with my family.

              My wife is the only one who truly understands me. And even she gets frustrated or forgets. I see a movie that looks great to me and I suggest us going to see it and she reminds me that we saw it two months ago.

              I know she knows that I have MS but when you are as good looking as me as I am now it is hard to remember I am sick and often depressed. I don't want to add to her burdens so I just don't bring it up. So for various reasons and at various times we hold things in. Small reminders help. When she says I told you my sister was coming over for dinner...I just answer, "...nope! Can't remember you telling me that. Guess my short term is out to lunch today."

              Please come back the people in here saved my life and got me through a lot of tough times and are still do so. We are the only ones who truly understand.

              Dave, Tampa, Florida (Backward equinox - 94 deg. / 88% humidity.)