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Geezus

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    Geezus

    Im 29 and recently stopped my medicines. Tragically I lost the love of my life in the process.

    We were together just over 2 years and well in March I got off treatment to get pregnant.

    Apparently I suffer from love addiction. He became my whole world as our lives are very similar. He said he thought I was his soul mate. We moved really fast, I had known him since Jr. High school and even stood next to him in the school choir. We jumped on the chance to move out together. Chaos ensued.

    So when I quit the treatment, figured out I was drinking alot (we enabled each other) and an addict to many other things apparently. I have been seeing a psychologist since April and well the one nice thing is I found a way to manage MS holistically for now. So far I feel good, I am off treatment, I am addiction free...except for him. I warned him about me coming of the medicines and he didnt seem to mind so I did it. The depression and the arguing was horrible, he didnt even give me the 6 mos we talked about needing. Its not a bad thing tho cuz I dont know that he could have handled a child with me anyway. He raged at me and finally a broke. I moved out of that toxic home. I still am in love with him tho.

    Im 29, live with my folks, have this very strict organic diet I am supposed to follow, am heart broken and work in a machine shop w many men all of whom I am not even remotely interested in. Ive dabbled in online dating, never met anyone, dont trust anyone. Who wants this baggage?

    I am feeling really low today. My world revolves around having someone in my life to love. I have my parents still but I am afraid if I wont get past this. I miss my Andre.

    I never thought I was messed up in the head...am I?

    Again, 29, single, living at home, working for my family. I feel so alone. Life isnt supposed to be THIS hard. Sucks for me.

    #2
    Adopt a dog

    And he/she will give you unconditional forgiving and forever love.
    The only down side is that they don't live as long as we do.
    So go to a shelter and give a homeless dog a forever home
    techie
    Another pirated saying:
    Half of life is if.
    When today is bad, tomorrow is generally a better day.
    Dogs Rule!

    Comment


      #3
      Maybe work with your counselor on why you feel like "My world revolves around having someone in my life to love" and why you are hung up on someone like describe your ex.
      Consider focusing on you first. I'd think that at 29 you might feel happier and definitely more productive if you got a little place of your own out of your parents house. Possibly take some classes and work on cultivating healthy, stimulating friendships as a adult?

      Don't get me wrong learning I had MS was the worst thing that ever happened to me also but I had created a really good life so in spite of my diagnosis I have managed to continue moving forward.

      My guess is that your life was kind of tanking prior to your MS diagnosis? Even if that is so it isn't too late to get control and force yourself to find things that make you happy and fulfilled before you consider bringing a child into your world.
      He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
      Anonymous

      Comment


        #4
        LammyCat,

        Yes, of course you miss him. Only time can ease that pain. But in the meantime, keep seeing your therapist. What a blessing to have a neutral party to talk with.

        The other bit of advice I have for you is to take time for yourself and to not be so hard on yourself. Find a way to enjoy being with YOU and all the things that YOU like to do. In the family room forum here there is a thread on ms and dating. Maybe it would be helpful to talk to some of the younger, single folks on here who are experiencing some of the same feelings as you.

        As far as diet and meds, maybe this is a time for you to explore other options as well. I saw another post of yours where you mentioned being "thin and frail". It is great that you are eating organic but IMO, a good diet should not leave you frail. Many of us here follow different plans such as Swank, OMS, Best Bet, etc...take a look and see if something else is better suited to you.

        You are not messed up in the head, no more than the rest of us. You are just sad and lonely...for now, it will get better.

        Take care.
        Meet me in a land of hope and dreams. -Bruce Springsteen

        Comment


          #5
          Thanks

          ..for the feed back. I feel better today, I was pretty low about everything while writing this previous one. There are days where I dont even remember I have MS..I think thats a really great thing. The diet is okay, its all Paleo it just gets stressful is all and I still have fatigue most days. I say I am thin and frail but I think thats just my bone structure..and I havent been exercising like I should..I need to go to the gym or get some weights or something.

          It hurts that I am the only one in my family who is sick. I work with them all too and I just feel so outcasted. Both my brothers have great dedicated women by there sides, my parents are still married..Im extremely lonely. I have never had a good relationship in my life..not really anyway, I have a couple of friends whom I love but they are all busy moving forward in their lives, families and whatnot. My mom is great, my dad is great but not always the best person for me to be around and well my brothers..I just seem to bring em down. They want to leave our home too someday and well I just dont want to be abandoned. I feel its inevitable tho, I dont want to die alone with no one by my side. Im trying to make friends but even my counselor says I try too hard. He said let them come to you. I somehow tend to chase people away. I never realized that until recently, its really a sad thought.

          I pray everyday. I pray for someone to love me.

          Comment


            #6
            SELF LOVE IS ONE OF THEE HARDEST KINDS OF LOVE TO ACCEPT....BUT THE MOST WORTHWHILE AND TREASURED!!

            Comment


              #7
              Your situation

              Lammy,

              I myself am in a similar situation, married for over 6 years, and see this marriage falling apart after my dx.

              Feel free to send a msg, or anything. I feel that I need a new person in my life given the circumstances. You need to learn to trust others.

              Being in a relationship for so long, you thinkg the other person is your world. How could this happen. Trust me, it is not easy.
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