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I really just canít do this long term

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    I really just canít do this long term

    Iím 24, male, diagnosed PPMS Feb 2020... I used to be a bodybuilder. 5í10 245 on heavy cycles, bodybuilder. Now I can barely stand on my own sometimes. I used to deadlift 500+ pounds and now I can barely hold a coffee cup or text, my hands are so messed up . My brain is slowly eroding, itís taking longer and longer to form a coherent thought... If Iím 24, Iíll be in a nursing home if Iím lucky. I really do hope I get hit by a bus before this gets any worse.

    #2
    I am so sorry that you are having so many serious problems. All I can say is that I pray you find a way to keep going and find some joy in your life despite your condition.

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      #3
      Originally posted by gotlesions View Post
      Iím 24, male, diagnosed PPMS Feb 2020... I used to be a bodybuilder. 5í10 245 on heavy cycles, bodybuilder. Now I can barely stand on my own sometimes. I used to deadlift 500+ pounds and now I can barely hold a coffee cup or text, my hands are so messed up . My brain is slowly eroding, itís taking longer and longer to form a coherent thought... If Iím 24, Iíll be in a nursing home if Iím lucky. I really do hope I get hit by a bus before this gets any worse.
      I hear you. Dealing with progressive MS can arouse feelings of fear, anxiety, frustration, and despair. I experience these sort of feelings at times, as well.

      I'm wondering if your neuro has talked with you about the disease modifying drug called Ocrevus. It has been shown to be quite effective in younger persons with PPMS.

      Are you getting any type of treatment? Thanks.

      Looking forward to your continued sharing.
      PPMS for 22 years (dx 1998)
      ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

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        #4
        Originally posted by gotlesions View Post
        Iím 24, male, diagnosed PPMS Feb 2020... I used to be a bodybuilder. 5í10 245 on heavy cycles, bodybuilder. Now I can barely stand on my own sometimes. I used to deadlift 500+ pounds and now I can barely hold a coffee cup or text, my hands are so messed up . My brain is slowly eroding, itís taking longer and longer to form a coherent thought... If Iím 24, Iíll be in a nursing home if Iím lucky. I really do hope I get hit by a bus before this gets any worse.

        gotlesions,

        The first thing that comes to mind is the discipline, effort and dedication that goes into bodybuilding.

        Hard to transfer these disciplines to deal with MS. But you have to! If MS does one thing it is this: It offers an opportunity to discover what we are made of.

        The collective experiences of those who respond will be helpful to you. Remember you have youth and time. And KoKo pointed to disease modifying drugs also. There is always hope.

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          #5
          Sorry to hear about your troubles, it sucks.

          Where are you from?
          The future depends on what you do today.- Gandhi

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            #6
            Originally posted by 502E79 View Post
            gotlesions,

            The first thing that comes to mind is the discipline, effort and dedication that goes into bodybuilding.

            Hard to transfer these disciplines to deal with MS. But you have to! If MS does one thing it is this: It offers an opportunity to discover what we are made of.

            The collective experiences of those who respond will be helpful to you. Remember you have youth and time. And KoKo pointed to disease modifying drugs also. There is always hope.
            What an appropriate, sensible and positive response to gotlesions. I love your take on the disease how it gives us an opportunity to discover what we're made of. Just wanted to tell you that you made sense of a super confusing illness in simple, easy to understand words and thank you.
            RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
            "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

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              #7
              I was far from a bodybuilder, but I was a physically-active, strong-for-my-age farm girl. I could bench press far more than my body weight just from a lifetime of carrying feed sacks and hay bales. In my free time, I hiked for miles in the hills around my house. It's been nearly 40 years since I had to stop all that, and I still miss it, but I had to stop grieving for my own sake.

              502E79 said it clearly. As hard as it seems right now, find some new interests and focus on what you CAN do. Don't see any of this as a lack in yourself. You didn't cause this. You can't cure this. What you can do is take that emotional strength and focus it on something different. It won't be easy, but becoming a bodybuilder wasn't easy, either.

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                #8
                I'm sorry you're experiencing feelings of being overwhelmed. You may want to look up information on David Lyons for a kindred spirit.

                https://multiplesclerosis.net/guest-...w-david-lyons/

                I wish you well...

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                  #9
                  Yeah no

                  I tried finding other hobbies. I canít even fish. The knots are beyond my hands. Iím 24 years old and I canít even pee standing up. Iíd go jerk off or something but that doesnít work either. I donít really see any point in continuing if this disease will just make my life a living hell.

                  **Edited by moderator in compliance with Guideline #4

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