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    Dating and Diagnosis

    Hello everyone. Iím new here. Iíve read some threads similar to my current dilemma but wanted to throw out my story if anyone else is feeling lost like me or has any advice.

    I had, what turned out to be my second episode/flare up, only a month after dating this guy. Over two more months of dating, I got all the tests, MRIs, LP, and just in November I got the official diagnosis of MS. Just yesterday I got my first injection with a nasty skin reaction. In the midst of this, I also had another abnormal papsmear and had to get a LEEP (they removed a layer of my cervix in hopes to prevent cancer).

    Now, he was very understanding during the healing process of the LEEP. Iím now wondering about telling him my MS diagnosis. Weíve only been dating 4 months, but heís also 9 years younger than me (Iím 35, heís 26). Heís very mature for 26 but Iím afraid this will be too much for him. Do I rip off the bandaid? Wait? Why is this even a question? I donít know; itís all so new!

    #2
    What a conundrum. What seems most unfair is that you have not had time to digest the diagnosis yourself let alone be prepared to explain it to your BF. Most relationships run on hijacked brain chemicals for 18-24 months- see Helen Fisherīs Anatomy of Love. You could rationalize seeing him for the 24 months and seeing where you stand then when the relationship without the "grease" of neurotransmitters is unveiled. You could say that you are dealing with an autoimmune issue. I just think that you could rationalize waiting until you have dealt with what this means to you without having to deal with what it means to the two of you.

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      #3
      Tell him

      Four or five months isn't a short period of time. If I were him, I'd want to know, and if I were you, I'd want it out in the open. He might even feel lied to if you wait much longer. And you deserve a relationship where you know you can trust and share.

      I told my boyfriend much earlier than 4-5 months (in addition to another health condition). We're now married 18 years.

      Good luck!

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        #4
        Originally posted by Shawshank View Post
        Four or five months isn't a short period of time. If I were him, I'd want to know, and if I were you, I'd want it out in the open. He might even feel lied to if you wait much longer. And you deserve a relationship where you know you can trust and share.
        This perspective makes sense to me.

        Also important is the way this disclosure is presented.

        I wouldn't make it a big, dramatic event.

        Take Care
        PPMS for 22 years (dx 1998)
        ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

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          #5
          I've been swimming in the dating pool for a while now, and I'm up front with my dx. I figure it cuts down on having to cope with people that aren't comfortable with the idea.

          It also cuts down on problems like this one. I still say let him know... better now than in 4 years, right?

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