Homebody any one else?

[Carlyle]

Hello,I don’t care if I don’t leave my house,it is way too exhausting.I just make it for appointments.I take antidepressants.Im wondering if it’s just me?
Do I need to push myself?Dave

[marti]

Right here!! I even go so far as to close the blinds, turn off the tv and "hide" if someone rings my doorbell! I love being left alone.

[KoKo]

Hello,I don’t care if I don’t leave my house,it is way too exhausting.I just make it for appointments.I take antidepressants.Im wondering if it’s just me?
Do I need to push myself?Dave

If you really, really want to go out more often, then you might need to push yourself.

I used to be on the go all the time, hardly ever home, and loved it at the time.

Now I prefer to stay in during hot, humid, or cold weather due to impaired functioning.

Also prefer to avoid crowds during cold/flu season, as I learned my lesson from getting sick in the past, and couldn't care for myself.

I really don't mind being a homebody, for the most part. There is a new kind of peace that I never had the opportunity to experience while always running around!

'To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.' Ecclesiastes

Take Care

[lukeduke]

I can't stand the idea of being a homebody. I have been out of work for almost a year. I worked in the field of Information Technology for over ten years.
I was terminated from that job which I loved. The week after terminated saw my PCP and told him what happened. He just said, "That's normal narcolepsy." I let the HR Director at that job know because he said he would talk to them about letting me come back once I got the issues handled.
He just gave me the run around. I gave up on that and tried my hat at a couple of opther things. I learned I am not a person who does well with "high pressure" sales. That was my first job after that. I was unable to make it as an insurance agent selling supplemental insurance.
I also tried my hat in car sales. That did not last too long. It was like we were a pack of wolves waiting on customers. I worked at a different lot that was closer to home as a Service Advisor. The company sold out and the new owners said that there was not enough business for the four of us.
I worked a couple of months for a company that "handled" customer service for AT&T wireless customers. This was a call center and they did not want you to handle the issue. They wanted you to hold it hostage and try to get them to add lines or sign up for DirecTV or both.
I also worked for just over a week for a life insurance company. That job was more of a phone mill. They wanted you to constantly be calling. It did not matter that all the leads I was given were from six months prior. I think the straw that broke the camel's back had to be when I called one "lead." I spoke to the man's widow who explained that he had passed away over a year before my "lead" said that he had called to request information about life insurance.

[REG53]

Me too, just this week I told my dh I am happy just being at home. It tires me out getting ready to go out and it tires me out to be out. Just happy with my home, view, choc. and coffee.

[Carolinemf]

Hi Dave,

I do agree with what koko said.
But i can identify with your struggle. I am in a similar place and have been for a while.
So its not just you.

I NEED human interaction. Even just a 'goodmorning' can help.
But it seems such an effort to leave everything thats comfortable that i often bale out and stay where its 'safe'.
It can feel quite 'agoraphobic' at times. And some days the thought of having to deal with other humans can make me feel quite panicky.

The only time i feel alive and less stressed is when we visit our farm.
there is something about nature and animals that lifts my mood very tangibly.
It could also be that i am always planning to do things with the farm that look to the future (we are hoping to retire there) .
I rarely do this at home - just do the bare minimum to exist from day to day. And sometimes not even that.

What used to get you interested?

[RonPaulaD]

I'm perfectly happy just staying home. Our winter has been snowy and quite cold. Regularly seeing below zero temps. I rarely go out by myself because I can never be sure that the parking lots will be clear enough for me. This is my first winter on disability, so there's no need for me to fight the bad weather conditions.

Paula

[Carolinemf]

marti

Right here!! I even go so far as to close the blinds, turn off the tv and "hide" if someone rings my doorbell! I love being left alone.

My M.I.L. passed in 98, just before Christmas.
We were very close.

i didn't feel up to sending out xmas cards etc that year.
the thing is that i never started again.
We lost the rest of our parents in the following few years.
And good friends moved away etc.And we lost touch with extended family etc.
And a busy life got in the way of other people to socialise with.

We always made sure that for our kids sake that family time at Christmas and for birthdays etc were participated in but this included just immediate family. Coworkers, our kids teachers and docs were mostly who we had contact with. We seem to have lost the ability to 'socialise'. And now my kids are grown and i don't have coworkers this contact is lost as well.
I can't remember anyones names anyway.

Although I have always been happy with my own company and very happy in my own space i also know I NEED human contact occasionally with people i feel comfortable with.

I think grief accumulated over years and now i need to move on for my own sake and this may require me to try some new things.
I am not some one who joins clubs etc and socialise just for socialising sake i have to have something in common or be doing something that interests me.

We all deal with grief differently but i believe the desire to be left alone is a common symptom.
Hopefully we can all help each other get through it.

[Seasha]

Me too, just this week I told my dh I am happy just being at home. It tires me out getting ready to go out and it tires me out to be out. Just happy with my home, view, choc. and coffee.

LOL - to home, view, choc and coffee! I am perfectly happy and content to have stopped the rat race of working, driving to work, weekends of errands, housework, and raising kids at home. I can't even imagine how I did it all before. Now, my drive to town is to babysit for a few hours with my granddaughter, go grocery shopping and to the library. And that's about it. I love just being in my home in the country.

Once in a while we have obligations to meet with friends and I'll go, but feel exhausted afterwards.

Dave, you only have to "push" yourself if you're not happy with your situation or you don't find contentment as it is. You are not alone in this!

[RonPaulaD]

I'm perfectly happy just staying home. Our winter has been snowy and quite cold. Regularly seeing below zero temps. I rarely go out by myself because I can never be sure that the parking lots will be clear enough for me. This is my first winter on disability, so there's no need for me to fight the bad weather conditions.

Paula

[marti]

marti

Right here!! I even go so far as to close the blinds, turn off the tv and "hide" if someone rings my doorbell! I love being left alone.

My M.I.L. passed in 98, just before Christmas.
We were very close.

i didn't feel up to sending out xmas cards etc that year.
the thing is that i never started again.
We lost the rest of our parents in the following few years.
And good friends moved away etc.And we lost touch with extended family etc.
And a busy life got in the way of other people to socialise with.

We always made sure that for our kids sake that family time at Christmas and for birthdays etc were participated in but this included just immediate family. Coworkers, our kids teachers and docs were mostly who we had contact with. We seem to have lost the ability to 'socialise'. And now my kids are grown and i don't have coworkers this contact is lost as well.
I can't remember anyones names anyway.

Although I have always been happy with my own company and very happy in my own space i also know I NEED human contact occasionally with people i feel comfortable with.

I think grief accumulated over years and now i need to move on for my own sake and this may require me to try some new things.
I am not some one who joins clubs etc and socialise just for socialising sake i have to have something in common or be doing something that interests me.

We all deal with grief differently but i believe the desire to be left alone is a common symptom.
Hopefully we can all help each other get through it.

Thanks so much for this. Part of the problem is that all the little old men around here have been showing up and calling etc... driving me crazy. I hear that this is a common phenomenon for new widows. Right now my kids are all the company I really need. Although I do talk with some of my neighbors... great people. I have refused the invitations to join clubs or groups too. Not interested. This dizziness keeps me grounded a lot and I have other health issues that just make it uncomfortable to run around. I do still drive so I get out when I need to or feel trapped. I can see you really understand my situation. Sorry you have gone thru this too. I am starting to feel a little better, which kind of makes me feel guilty. I know... it's not supposed to be that way. Still finding the new normal. Love you for this post.

[lukeduke]

Hi Dave,

I do agree with what koko said.
But i can identify with your struggle. I am in a similar place and have been for a while.
So its not just you.

I NEED human interaction. Even just a 'goodmorning' can help.
But it seems such an effort to leave everything thats comfortable that i often bale out and stay where its 'safe'.
It can feel quite 'agoraphobic' at times. And some days the thought of having to deal with other humans can make me feel quite panicky.

The only time i feel alive and less stressed is when we visit our farm.
there is something about nature and animals that lifts my mood very tangibly.
It could also be that i am always planning to do things with the farm that look to the future (we are hoping to retire there) .
I rarely do this at home - just do the bare minimum to exist from day to day. And sometimes not even that.

What used to get you interested?

Caroline.

I can concur about needing human interaction. I always say that I have never met a stranger. I will also occasionally add in that you will very seldom find someone stranger than me.

I also say at the gas station that if you let the motor cool down then the car might not run right.

I love to be around people. One of the unfortunate things about my area is that there is so little to do for entertainment. If I want to see a movie that's at least a thirty mile ride. Or want a decent steak thirty miles.

That's probably why so many people grow up and leave this area. I tried to leave, but came back. I didn't plan on staying long in 2001 when I came back. Now I'm married with children and don't want to be anywhere else.

[Carolinemf]

lukeduke

I can concur about needing human interaction. I always say that I have never met a stranger. I will also occasionally add in that you will very seldom find someone stranger than me.

I also say at the gas station that if you let the motor cool down then the car might not run right.

I love to be around people. One of the unfortunate things about my area is that there is so little to do for entertainment. If I want to see a movie that's at least a thirty mile ride. Or want a decent steak thirty miles.

That's probably why so many people grow up and leave this area. I tried to leave, but came back. I didn't plan on staying long in 2001 when I came back. Now I'm married with children and don't want to be anywhere else.[/QUOTE]

Sounds just like where we live. was a great place for kids to grow up but is lacking in so many ways. I have always found it a bit clique-y as well.
An average drive of 1.5hrs to get kids to sports, dentists etc,etc.
And the population is getting older because most of the young ones move away unless they have work/families.

Ps I think i could go a round or 2 with you in the strangeness ring

[Carlyle]

Thank you,for the replies to the post.I am in a wc,it sure changed my life,nothing is easy.I was very active before this happened,I’m a handyman now everything is a challenge.I still try and help people out.Dave

[Carolinemf]

Dave

Always happy to listen.
Wish i thought we had helped .
But though i thank you for your courteous reply, you still sound pretty down.
Can i ask , has your hand dexterity been affected?