So, this thread has nothing to do with MS but I really need some advice about how to deal with my neighbor. I'm asking you guys because I can't post about this on Facebook as I am friends with both my neighbor and his wife on there. I also love that there are so many different opinions and perspectives on here so I'm hoping you guys can help me out. This is going to be a long one (and even this is the condensed version of his antics), so I apologize in advance.
I have a neighbor (we'll call him Tony) who lives in the quadplex behind us. My husband and I met him briefly a couple of years ago and we have been friendly ever since - friendly, but we're definitely not friends. Tony is very chatty and always stops to talk (and talk and talk and talk some more) when we see each other.
This past 4th of July, we had our annual party and had lots of people came, including Tony, his wife and their young son. No big deal... except we never invited them. They just showed up. Apparently their son saw the giant inflatable water slide in our yard (kinda hard to miss a 20 foot slide over a 6 foot fence) and he wanted to play on it. Not being one to deny a child of fun, especially one who was already in swim trunks and ready to go, I welcomed them in. It was fine in the end but my friends and I did find it strange that the neighbors just showed up uninvited but hey - once upon a time neighbors used to actually know each other.
As the weeks go on, he starts chatting with us more and more as he drives by, talking our ear off when we're obviously busy and not seeming to get the hint that we don't have the time or the inclination to talk to him at the time. At this point, it's annoying at worst. Then it becomes a little bit stranger.
One example: He rang my doorbell at 7:30 one morning as I was rushing to get my kids out of the house to go to school. I open the door, apologize and tell him I have to run as we're late. He seems to not even hear what I said and he starts going on and on about how upsetting his morning was because a tree branch fell on his windshield. I don't have anything to say besides "That sucks." "I'm really sorry." and "These kids are late. We really have to go!" It was that very morning that I realized that he really has absolutely no boundaries and seems to have zero self-awareness.
A month or so after that Tony came by one morning and asked to borrow $20. He told me his work never gave him his paycheck and he needed gas money to get to work for the rest of the week and he'd get paid on Friday for sure. I tried telling him I didn't have any cash and it was then that he asked me if I could go to the ATM and grab some money. I told him I had a really busy day and I would if I had the time but I couldn't promise anything. He kept going on and on about his bills and I finally told him I'd get the cash later just to shut him up. Big mistake. He came by the house twice more before I even had a chance to leave but instead of calling him out on what felt like harassment, I ended up giving him $20 later that day. I told him it was a gift and not to repay me but also that money was tight as I'm on disability and I don't have much, if any, to spare.
In between then and Christmas he drove by and began chatting with my husband, asking what we were doing for the holidays. When my husband mentioned that we were having family over on Christmas Eve, Tony straight up invited himself over. He said, "Cool. Yeah. We'll probably stop by and hang with you guys for a bit!" My husband was so shocked that he didn't respond. Thankfully he never came by but I know he could see the fire pit going through the fence. We can't exactly hide from him as he lives 30 feet away.
We actually didn't see him until last weekend when he stopped by and paid my husband back the $20 he borrowed. It was a pleasant surprise. Until today.
Today he came over and asked my husband if he had a minute to talk. My husband said he didn't as he was on his way out the door to take my son to the movies but Tony the Bulldozer insisted on two minutes of his time. Apparently Tony wasn't paid by his job again and between Christmas being crazy expensive (I saw the bragging pictures he posted on Facebook with tons of presents under the tree) and his electric bill being overdue, he needed a loan to get him through. My husband told him he understands but we're in a tight spot financially too. Every example Tony used my husband countered yet the man still said he needed over $100 from us! It took a solid 10 minutes for my husband to get through to Tony and make him understand that we weren't going to give him any money. Seriously, who does that?! We're not even friends with the guy. I feel like he only paid the $20 back because he thought he could hook us for an even larger amount.
I ended up asking his upstairs neighbor if they've ever dealt with this and lo and behold he's asked every single tenant in the quadplex for cash at one point or another. He even asked one tenant for $400! They avoid him like the plague but he's so socially inept that he isn't picking up on the fact that his behavior is beyond inappropriate.
This is where I need your advice. How do I shake this dude and get him to stop coming around and most of all, stop asking us for money? I understand that I made a huge mistake by helping him out once but I just know this isn't the last time he's gonna ask for money. Or show up uninvited.
Please keep in mind that no matter what we still have to live in close proximity to him and we don't want to start a neighborhood feud with him and his wife. If that wasn't an issue I would have dealt with him harshly by now.
I have a neighbor (we'll call him Tony) who lives in the quadplex behind us. My husband and I met him briefly a couple of years ago and we have been friendly ever since - friendly, but we're definitely not friends. Tony is very chatty and always stops to talk (and talk and talk and talk some more) when we see each other.
This past 4th of July, we had our annual party and had lots of people came, including Tony, his wife and their young son. No big deal... except we never invited them. They just showed up. Apparently their son saw the giant inflatable water slide in our yard (kinda hard to miss a 20 foot slide over a 6 foot fence) and he wanted to play on it. Not being one to deny a child of fun, especially one who was already in swim trunks and ready to go, I welcomed them in. It was fine in the end but my friends and I did find it strange that the neighbors just showed up uninvited but hey - once upon a time neighbors used to actually know each other.
As the weeks go on, he starts chatting with us more and more as he drives by, talking our ear off when we're obviously busy and not seeming to get the hint that we don't have the time or the inclination to talk to him at the time. At this point, it's annoying at worst. Then it becomes a little bit stranger.
One example: He rang my doorbell at 7:30 one morning as I was rushing to get my kids out of the house to go to school. I open the door, apologize and tell him I have to run as we're late. He seems to not even hear what I said and he starts going on and on about how upsetting his morning was because a tree branch fell on his windshield. I don't have anything to say besides "That sucks." "I'm really sorry." and "These kids are late. We really have to go!" It was that very morning that I realized that he really has absolutely no boundaries and seems to have zero self-awareness.
A month or so after that Tony came by one morning and asked to borrow $20. He told me his work never gave him his paycheck and he needed gas money to get to work for the rest of the week and he'd get paid on Friday for sure. I tried telling him I didn't have any cash and it was then that he asked me if I could go to the ATM and grab some money. I told him I had a really busy day and I would if I had the time but I couldn't promise anything. He kept going on and on about his bills and I finally told him I'd get the cash later just to shut him up. Big mistake. He came by the house twice more before I even had a chance to leave but instead of calling him out on what felt like harassment, I ended up giving him $20 later that day. I told him it was a gift and not to repay me but also that money was tight as I'm on disability and I don't have much, if any, to spare.
In between then and Christmas he drove by and began chatting with my husband, asking what we were doing for the holidays. When my husband mentioned that we were having family over on Christmas Eve, Tony straight up invited himself over. He said, "Cool. Yeah. We'll probably stop by and hang with you guys for a bit!" My husband was so shocked that he didn't respond. Thankfully he never came by but I know he could see the fire pit going through the fence. We can't exactly hide from him as he lives 30 feet away.
We actually didn't see him until last weekend when he stopped by and paid my husband back the $20 he borrowed. It was a pleasant surprise. Until today.
Today he came over and asked my husband if he had a minute to talk. My husband said he didn't as he was on his way out the door to take my son to the movies but Tony the Bulldozer insisted on two minutes of his time. Apparently Tony wasn't paid by his job again and between Christmas being crazy expensive (I saw the bragging pictures he posted on Facebook with tons of presents under the tree) and his electric bill being overdue, he needed a loan to get him through. My husband told him he understands but we're in a tight spot financially too. Every example Tony used my husband countered yet the man still said he needed over $100 from us! It took a solid 10 minutes for my husband to get through to Tony and make him understand that we weren't going to give him any money. Seriously, who does that?! We're not even friends with the guy. I feel like he only paid the $20 back because he thought he could hook us for an even larger amount.
I ended up asking his upstairs neighbor if they've ever dealt with this and lo and behold he's asked every single tenant in the quadplex for cash at one point or another. He even asked one tenant for $400! They avoid him like the plague but he's so socially inept that he isn't picking up on the fact that his behavior is beyond inappropriate.
This is where I need your advice. How do I shake this dude and get him to stop coming around and most of all, stop asking us for money? I understand that I made a huge mistake by helping him out once but I just know this isn't the last time he's gonna ask for money. Or show up uninvited.
Please keep in mind that no matter what we still have to live in close proximity to him and we don't want to start a neighborhood feud with him and his wife. If that wasn't an issue I would have dealt with him harshly by now.
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