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    Tawanda, the part with my response to you didn't post. 😳

    I had typed that your post couldn't have been written better. Your daughter will appreciate all the good things you've done. She'll forgive the very few mistakes you've made when she's mature enough to and has made a few of her own. ❤️

    Hang in there and try not to worry too much. ❤️

    Originally posted by MMMMS View Post
    This couldn't have been said better.

    My mother passed away before my teen years really kicked in. So your mother doesn't support you in everything you think and do? That's OK. That's not her job. She has her own opinions and life experiences that she brings to the question. You weren't created to walk in lock step with your mother, and she wasn't created to mirror every thought in your head back to you. You're lucky, and I hope you know it. Because what a waste of life if you don't.

    (Exceptional cases excepted, of course. This is just about mothers and daughters who don't get along over things they don't have to agree on anyway.)


      Originally posted by Tawanda View Post
      I am a mother to a daughter, 17 almost 18 year old. Despite the MS, I thought our relationship was perfect until high school. It became increasingly strained each consecutive year. She has her first serious BF, will be off to college next year, and is chomping at the bit for freedoms that can't be provided for her just yet. I hope she will understand the things I did that were right as well as she does my screw ups! This thread is breaking my heart! I can totally see her writing a post similar to what I have read here. Raising her these past years has been a run away train, so please remember to have some compassion for your flawed parents!
      It’s one thing to be atngry with a mother when you are 18 quite another when you are 65. But if I had any advice for you it would be that your daughter is plenty old enough to make her own mistakes. You are done with your job by 12 at the latest. Any prolonging of that authority will, mark my words, backfire.


        Originally posted by palmtree View Post
        You are done with your job by 12 at the latest. Any prolonging of that authority will, mark my words, backfire.
        Palmtree, I hope that the above was simply a typo and that you seriously don't think at the age of twelve (12) years old your job as a parent is over? If so, you are so very wrong

        The teen years can be a difficult time for both parents and children but our job as a parent is not over and especially as young as 12. Even after they are an adult most caring and loving parents are there for their adult children if and/or when needed.

        I have 2 adult children and I most definitely set boundaries and had parental authority well beyond age 12. Being rebellious is a normal part of growing up, not being a loving parent that sets boundaries is harmful to a child. Part of being a good parent is trying to find the middle ground of being too strict verse being over lenient. Our children don't always like us in those teen years but it does get better.

        We did not tie our children to us but they also did not have free choice in all decisions and actions. And, there were consequences for some of their choices.

        The fact that I have no relationship with my mother has nothing to do with parental authority. I simply had a mother who didn't know how to love, did not keep me safe, was abusive, and made me the scapegoat for everything wrong in her life.
        Diagnosed 1984
        “Lightworkers aren’t here to avoid the darkness…they are here to transform the darkness through the illuminating power of love.” Muses from a mystic