my HONEST opion

[Daisycat]

You people really want to know how I feel. I came here looking for support thinking maybe someone would understand the hopelessness and despair knowing you have a rotting brain causes. I pretty much debate booking a flight to Switzerland every day and as soon as my cats are gone I probably will. Its just not worth it to be this miserable knowing it will never get better. Not wasting my time on a therapist who is clueless about rotting brains…



I should have never been born and I am defective and worthless because of this disease. I WILL NOT be positive about my rotting brain and lack of future…



PLEASE do not respond if you are offended, but I feel like I was holding back my true feelings and I really just don’t care to do that anymore…

[pennstater]

To any newbies, this is one person's opinion on living with MS. The statements about a "rotting brain" are highly exaggersted, and not based on fact. Yes, MS may cause some cognitive changes for some people, but extremely rare to be dementia like.

Daisycat - You haven't held back on your opinion. This is not new.

What is new is what you put in capitals - the words "I WILL NOT". That says it all about your attitude. You want to stay miserable. That is your choice. I have nothing to add to it, since I don't understand your adamance at not wanting to feel better. At my worst, when I wasn't functioning even for work due to anxiety and depression, I wanted to feel better.

I thought your focus on the negatives was due to your depression, but your statement makes me realize it is a choice you are deliberately making.

I pray you take the time to really educate yourself about MS, from reliable sources, which were provided before. It is worth the effort.

I am not offended by the post. You have your opinion. But they are not based on reality, only your fears.

I pray you get the help you need when you see your new neuro. Obvious, that noone here has been able to help. I thought a few people broke thru,but it appears not.

[Daisycat]

To me having a lesion on my brain = rotting brain. And I o not deserve to be happy with this disease. How could I? I should have never been born. My life and everything about it has been a mistake. I will never feel better knowing I really have no future and eventually I will have to go to Switzerland to avoid a life unable to walk or care for myself.



And a few people had said some really nice things which meant a lot, but the vast majority were inconsiderateand acted like I was supposed to see puppy dogs an rainbows in this curse or got offended that I viewed it as a curse. Telling me how to feel after losing everything is not something I appreciate.

[Ant1981]

Defective

Wat human is not defective in some way?

I happier than ever before in my life... honestly. I’m so excited about my future. A stable MRI and tecfidera seems to be doing it’s job. I’m traveling to a place I’ve never been, going to school.. dating, regular weightlifting and excersize I feel awesome!!!

Yes I have anxiety but it’s well under control, to busy of a life to really pay much mind to it.

i have minimal disability and live the best I can.

This disease hasn’t taken my drive and ambition to pursue my hapiness... and neither should for you happiness.

Take care of yourself, there is a silver lining here if you look closely 😉

[Daisycat]

I consider myself defective because to me I should not exist. I would give anything if I had just never been born and my mom and a kid with a real shot at a life.
I am glad you are happy and accepting of this. I hope this continue going great for you.

For me I know what the future looks like and I do not want that. It has taken everything thar I have wanted and crushed it. It made me realize I do not even fit in with people who share my curse.


So I have no place with normal people and people who have this curse aren’t willing to accept me because I do not view this as rainbows and puppy dogs.


PLEASE tell me what the silver lining is in this because no matter how hard I try I do not see one.

[Jules A]

So I could be totally wrong but what seems to me is worsening your already compromised brain/nervous system is the "self medicating" you are partaking in. BTW and here is a topic that can earn me even more friends, not, I think that overused term which gets thrown out in the Substance Abuse Disorder arena constantly is a load of crap. As one example Prozac is $4 at Walmart if those "self medicating" really wanted to try actual medication as prescribed by their provider.

Hopefully you re-read your posts when you are sober as there is a marked difference in not only your thought process but your typing, grammar etc. Its erratic Daisycat. You and members here deserve better.

[marti]

So I could be totally wrong but what seems to me is worsening your already compromised brain/nervous system is the "self medicating" you are partaking in. BTW and here is a topic that can earn me even more friends, not, I think that overused term which gets thrown out in the Substance Abuse Disorder arena constantly is a load of crap. As one example Prozac is $4 at Walmart if those "self medicating" really wanted to try actual medication as prescribed by their provider.

Hopefully you re-read your posts when you are sober as there is a marked difference in not only your thought process but your typing, grammar etc. Its erratic Daisycat. You and members here deserve better.

I didn't realize there was self medicating going on with Daisy. I know I've tried everything under the sun for certain symptoms, like dizziness. Nothing works. It worries me that there are teenagers coming on these posts and the idea of some self medicating might not be a good idea for them read about. Not to mention the idea of assisted suicide. I'm not against the practice.. just think some people are too impressionable to be hearing so much doom and gloom ideas. We ALL should be more careful about what we promote on the board.

[marti]

To any newbies, this is one person's opinion on living with MS. The statements about a "rotting brain" are highly exaggersted, and not based on fact. Yes, MS may cause some cognitive changes for some people, but extremely rare to be dementia like.

Daisycat - You haven't held back on your opinion. This is not new.

What is new is what you put in capitals - the words "I WILL NOT". That says it all about your attitude. You want to stay miserable. That is your choice. I have nothing to add to it, since I don't understand your adamance at not wanting to feel better. At my worst, when I wasn't functioning even for work due to anxiety and depression, I wanted to feel better.

I thought your focus on the negatives was due to your depression, but your statement makes me realize it is a choice you are deliberately making.

I pray you take the time to really educate yourself about MS, from reliable sources, which were provided before. It is worth the effort.

I am not offended by the post. You have your opinion. But they are not based on reality, only your fears.

I pray you get the help you need when you see your new neuro. Obvious, that noone here has been able to help. I thought a few people broke thru,but it appears not.

I am truly sorry, but I refuse to respond to Daisy directly anymore. This whole thing is like being on a merry go round. She started it all over again and I can't waste any more energy or emotion on this poor, confused woman. I'm beginning to think she likes the confrontation. Sorry.

[oceanpride]

My honest opinion is your sounding like a broken record and you need to go read esops fairy tale about the boy who cried wolf

[Myoak]

Daisycat, thank you for your honest opinion. I love your honesty!

In 5 days a huge MS conference begins in Berlin. Researchers from all over the world will attend and present their work. Over 1500 abstracts will be presented at that conference and I have been going through all the titles and choosing ones that interest me to dig into a little deeper.

I just came across one that could possibly be of benefit to you, if you are interested. I will post it because it confirms what so many at this site inherently know but sometimes get frustrated trying to express.

For me, the takeaway is practical. I want things that work in fighting MS. Like you, I don't need to see puppy dogs in rainbows, or pick my nose and think to myself what a wonderful world it is with MS. MS is not the wonderful part of it.


As you can see from the Berlin conference there are virtually thousands of MS research projects underway. You know very well that knowledge is growing exponentially. We have entered an era of rapid discovery and that does give us hope for truly effective treatments and even a cure for MS. There are so many at work, sharing information as the Berlin conference highlights.


Well, here you go... this study illuminates how pwMS can achieve a higher level of cognition and motor function, if interested.

The impact of psychological resilience on cognitive and physical measures of disability in multiple sclerosis

Abstract: EP1533
Type: Poster Sessions
Abstract Category: Pathology and pathogenesis of MS - Neuropsychology
Author(s): S. Klineova , M. Fabian , G. Pelle , C. Lewis , J. Sumowski
ECTRIMS Online Library. Klineova S. Oct 10, 2018; 229371

Introduction: Resilience, a dynamic process of positive adaptation to notable adversity, results in psychophysical stability and higher quality of life. The increasing focus on wellness promotion in Multiple Sclerosis (MS) offers opportunity to further study the role of resilience in MS. We have previously shown the independent contribution of resilience in disability in MS. In this project we further analyzed the impact of resilience on more comprehensive assessments of cognitive and motor function.

Objective: To characterize impact of psychological resilience on measures of cognitive and physical disability in MS.

Aims: To assess a role of psychological resilience in MS.

My note here... Daisycat, I am bypassing methods used in the study for brevity and going on to the results and discussion sections.

Results: Higher resilience was associated with better performance on composite measures of cognitive efficiency (r=.197, p=.008) and motor function (r=.293, p< .001), but not memory (r=.063, p>.10), controlling for age, sex, education, and premorbid intelligence.

Discussion: Persons with greater psychological resilience demonstrated greater cognitive efficiency and motor function. Although the underlying mechanism of this relationship requires further study, current results emphasize the importance of resilience in MS and as a potential target for intervention. Further studies are needed to understand and build psychological resilience in persons with MS.

"Resilience, a dynamic process of positive adaptation to notable adversity, results in psychophysical stability and higher quality of life."

Daisycat, your many respondents attempt to explain how they are adapting to notable adversity, that's all. They want the best for you, of course. Some get frustrated at times but that's okay, we all do. I would say to them that faith and patience are always rewarded.

I believe in you, Daisycat. You are a good, rich person in the ways I value people. I will always believe in you, hope the best for you, and support you just as you are. There is no treasure on earth comparable to one human being. You are the treasure.

[KoKo]

PLEASE tell me what the silver lining is in this because no matter how hard I try I do not see one.

Hi Daisycat

I could be wrong, but I doubt if a silver lining could even be seen through the eyes of someone with untreated, severe depression.

That is what untreated, severe depression can do, to anyone who suffers from it, unfortunately.

Take Care

[IntoDust]

So I could be totally wrong but what seems to me is worsening your already compromised brain/nervous system is the "self medicating" you are partaking in.

Hopefully you re-read your posts when you are sober as there is a marked difference in not only your thought process but your typing, grammar etc. Its erratic Daisycat. You and members here deserve better.

Jules, couldn’t agree more. She admits to self medicating and has even posted a thread where she is panicking because her doctor did not refill her anxiety medication.
Benzo overuse can wreck havoc on someone’s mental state. I’ve seen it too many times and this is part of the reason that doctors are so reluctant to prescribe them. I think she needs to address the medication abuse with a therapist and move forward from there. I’m not gonna make light of the withdrawals as they’re the worst drug to withdrawal from, but I can’t imagine it is helping her as much as it is hindering her.

[gargantua]

Bringing this to the top

Daisycat, thank you for your honest opinion. I love your honesty!

In 5 days a huge MS conference begins in Berlin. Researchers from all over the world will attend and present their work. Over 1500 abstracts will be presented at that conference and I have been going through all the titles and choosing ones that interest me to dig into a little deeper.
...

The impact of psychological resilience on cognitive and physical measures of disability in multiple sclerosis

Abstract: EP1533
Type: Poster Sessions
Abstract Category: Pathology and pathogenesis of MS - Neuropsychology
Author(s): S. Klineova , M. Fabian , G. Pelle , C. Lewis , J. Sumowski
ECTRIMS Online Library. Klineova S. Oct 10, 2018; 229371

Introduction: Resilience, a dynamic process of positive adaptation to notable adversity, results in psychophysical stability and higher quality of life. The increasing focus on wellness promotion in Multiple Sclerosis (MS) offers opportunity to further study the role of resilience in MS. We have previously shown the independent contribution of resilience in disability in MS. In this project we further analyzed the impact of resilience on more comprehensive assessments of cognitive and motor function.

Objective: To characterize impact of psychological resilience on measures of cognitive and physical disability in MS.

Aims: To assess a role of psychological resilience in MS.

Results: Higher resilience was associated with better performance on composite measures of cognitive efficiency (r=.197, p=.008) and motor function (r=.293, p< .001), but not memory (r=.063, p>.10), controlling for age, sex, education, and premorbid intelligence.

Discussion: Persons with greater psychological resilience demonstrated greater cognitive efficiency and motor function. Although the underlying mechanism of this relationship requires further study, current results emphasize the importance of resilience in MS and as a potential target for intervention. Further studies are needed to understand and build psychological resilience in persons with MS.

"Resilience, a dynamic process of positive adaptation to notable adversity, results in psychophysical stability and higher quality of life."

Daisycat, your many respondents attempt to explain how they are adapting to notable adversity, that's all. They want the best for you, of course. Some get frustrated at times but that's okay, we all do. I would say to them that faith and patience are always rewarded.

Myoak, I love this. The abstract of this research you posted should become a sticky post. If we were all in a room together I could demonstrate the mind-body connection through a simple physical exercise. For those who can, hold your arm out mid-air, with your palm up. Have someone else place their hand on top of your palm (palm-facing-palm). As you think a negative thought, have the person push down on your palm - resist their pushing with yours, as hard as you can. Then, think a positive thought and have them push down while you resist. It really shows something.

I see a lot of people piling on this morning after a tough night. Breathe deep Daisy and I hope Myoak's post helps.

[gargantua]

Terminology

I'm sorry about my last terminology. There is a difference between "piling on" and discussing depression and withdrawal. Just acknowledging that it is very important.

I hope the study Myoak shared gets placed somewhere permanent, and that the posts in this whole thread help Daisy.

[Ant1981]

Rainbows and puppies

I consider myself defective because to me I should not exist. I would give anything if I had just never been born and my mom and a kid with a real shot at a life.
I am glad you are happy and accepting of this. I hope this continue going great for you.

For me I know what the future looks like and I do not want that. It has taken everything thar I have wanted and crushed it. It made me realize I do not even fit in with people who share my curse.


So I have no place with normal people and people who have this curse aren’t willing to accept me because I do not view this as rainbows and puppy dogs.


PLEASE tell me what the silver lining is in this because no matter how hard I try I do not see one.

I don’t live in a world of rainbows and puppy dogs lol

i was in a bad relationship and bad business relationship. I got out of both and have the utmost motivation to exercise regularly... no excuses. Changed from a construction job I was growing to despise and now I building a new life at 37. Super exciting time given my MS reached stability and my sx, however insignificant they are, all invisible.

the silver lining is a chance to build a new and better life for myself. You gonna find your silver lining if you look hard enough.

eat healthy, excersize and enjoy life to the fullest, no time is worth wasting feeling sorry for yourself, I’m sry u have MS but so what? Continue on with passion.

take care of yourself.