Venting:
I was diagnosed with RRMS in May 2008. My son was diagonsed with Autism 3 weeks later. With that, I put MS on the back burner and made my son my sole responsibility. He is thriving. At 12, he is in a regular middle school. He does so much for himself, I finally have time to take care of ME.
I am determined to keep fighting and making the most out of life. However, I am really having a hard time accepting that my eyesight will never get better. I've had ON 4 times. I used to be a voracious reader. I crocheted and made jewelry. I miss being able to do those things. I am going to start using a tablet to read, so I can make the print larger. Similarly, I am trying to find ways to still do crafts, like using larger beads, smaller projects that don't get overwhelming, etc.
Yesterday, I saw my therapist. I've been seeing her for years. Yesterday was the
first time I talked about my disease. She wants us to discuss it further and work on some strategies to help me deal with my "loss of vision" and how it has affected my depression and anxiety (which came along way before the MS diagnosis).
I am not angry. I'm just frustrated. I can count way more blessings than curses. I just hate admitting that everything is not fine. I try to be strong. I try not to complain. But, this change in my vision and knowing it's not going to get better, is a hard pill to swallow.
I am glad to still be working (even with the stress that comes along with working in a very busy hospital). I'm proud of the hard work my husband and I have done to give our son every opportunity. I'm proud of my husband for completing his Master of Divinity and becoming a chaplain. I am, by no means, ready to give up. Guess I'm just looking for others who have similar struggles. Misery loves company? Lol.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to your responses.
I was diagnosed with RRMS in May 2008. My son was diagonsed with Autism 3 weeks later. With that, I put MS on the back burner and made my son my sole responsibility. He is thriving. At 12, he is in a regular middle school. He does so much for himself, I finally have time to take care of ME.
I am determined to keep fighting and making the most out of life. However, I am really having a hard time accepting that my eyesight will never get better. I've had ON 4 times. I used to be a voracious reader. I crocheted and made jewelry. I miss being able to do those things. I am going to start using a tablet to read, so I can make the print larger. Similarly, I am trying to find ways to still do crafts, like using larger beads, smaller projects that don't get overwhelming, etc.
Yesterday, I saw my therapist. I've been seeing her for years. Yesterday was the
first time I talked about my disease. She wants us to discuss it further and work on some strategies to help me deal with my "loss of vision" and how it has affected my depression and anxiety (which came along way before the MS diagnosis).
I am not angry. I'm just frustrated. I can count way more blessings than curses. I just hate admitting that everything is not fine. I try to be strong. I try not to complain. But, this change in my vision and knowing it's not going to get better, is a hard pill to swallow.
I am glad to still be working (even with the stress that comes along with working in a very busy hospital). I'm proud of the hard work my husband and I have done to give our son every opportunity. I'm proud of my husband for completing his Master of Divinity and becoming a chaplain. I am, by no means, ready to give up. Guess I'm just looking for others who have similar struggles. Misery loves company? Lol.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to your responses.
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