Update on Sam

[marti]

Thought I'd let you all know I called in Hospice yesterday. I got some great suggestions here and from friends about finding help. Hope I'm doing the right thing.

Sam told people I needed help so I think he's on board, but sometimes he can't hear well enough to get the gist of the conversations. He is not dying as far as I know. No one has told me exactly what his condition is at this time. The Hospice nurse shook her head when I suggested this could go on for years. She was careful to stay quiet but did say she didn't see that it would be very long. Some days he seems much better, but I do see some of the signs. No one will know until it happens.

I am still alone with him at night which is when the weird stuff starts. I have had only one full night of sleep this week. So of course, I am crabby and exhausted and wishing they would send a "nanny" so stay for awhile. I guess that could happen, but not right now. It seems that no matter how much help they give I am still the one who does the heavy lifting when we are alone. The worst things always go on when it's just him and me.

Thank you all for pushing me in the right direction.

[Canary54]

Do you have any friends with a medical/nursing background? When my husband was receiving chemo/radiation to treat his cancer, my friend who is a critical care nurse would come to the house one night a week to sit with him overnight so I could sleep at least one night a week. If no medically oriented friends do you have a church family who might be ble to give you a little break? Thoughts and prayers to you!

[marti]

Do you have any friends with a medical/nursing background? When my husband was receiving chemo/radiation to treat his cancer, my friend who is a critical care nurse would come to the house one night a week to sit with him overnight so I could sleep at least one night a week. If no medically oriented friends do you have a church family who might be ble to give you a little break? Thoughts and prayers to you!

Good ideas. I might be able to work something out like this. I know I sound selfish and I really don't mind taking care of him. But he has these hallucinations in the night and wakes me up to tell me the craziest stories. Then it's always hard to get back to sleep and I'm useless the next day.

[msgijo]

Good ideas. I might be able to work something out like this. I know I sound selfish and I really don't mind taking care of him. But he has these hallucinations in the night and wakes me up to tell me the craziest stories. Then it's always hard to get back to sleep and I'm useless the next day.

Marti, thank you for updating us. I had read your post early today,but had so much to do to do that I didn't have time to reply. Sorry to hear that Sam is now in Hospice, but it sounds like it is giving you some relief. And that is the main thing right now. You are sounding much better today, so the decision you made seems to be agreeing with you.

I had thought all day about how you could get some sleep, and intended to ask if you could get some sleep when the nurse is here, but didn't know if you needed to be available while they are there. BUT I like the idea of having somebody able to 'take over' for you at night so that you can get a good night sleep MUCH better.

Hopefully as you and Sam get into this new routine things will settle down even more and life will seem easier. Continued prayers for you!

[Mamabug]

Good ideas. I might be able to work something out like this. I know I sound selfish and I really don't mind taking care of him. But he has these hallucinations in the night and wakes me up to tell me the craziest stories. Then it's always hard to get back to sleep and I'm useless the next day.

You don't sound selfish at all. A caregiver needs to take care of one's self in order to have enough left over to care for their loved one.

[pennstater]

Sorry to hear Sam is now in hospice. I am relieved to hear that you did get some help. My neighbor is going through similar with her father - he hallucinates at night and stays up all night. She is finally looking at getting a night nurse/health aide for a few nights.

My prayers are with you.