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    Out and about

    Becoming a tad agoraphobic. It's not really fear of leaving the house; it's fear of dealing with people.

    I finally forced myself to start using the scooter up the Main Street. Post Office; Pharmacy; Medical Centre...

    Made myself do it. Wheelie-walker was bad - this is harder.

    (Bit like the nightmare that is now having a shower.)

    There I am, on my scooter, and I have to stop and talk to people I've known forever and, oh Lord, the PITY.

    Everyone is very polite, but you can see their sad eyes, and you have to put on your very best cheery face, when all you want to do is cry.

    Everyone pretending s'all okay. Maybe it would be better if we were all honest with each other.

    No, I'm not "fine", and no, I don't "look good".

    I'm a coward.

    And I would love to talk about something other than this sod of a disease.

    #2
    I sometimes get that reactions too, Think. I put on a cheerful face (sometimes fake - like gritting my teeth) when others ask about how I'm getting along. I say, Oh fine! and then immediately ask about them and their families. People love to talk about themselves more than anything! It then clears the path of going down the MS rabbit hole and draws attention to them.

    Try it sometime! It usually works quite well!!
    1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
    Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

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      #3
      Just ask them to help prepare a meal or carry something and they will evaporate.

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        #4
        Hi Thinkimjob, I use a scooter also for long distance, couldn't live without it. I totally agree about the people and I am another one that smiles and lies about how I feel. I wished I had a penny for every time someone tells me I looked good, I could buy several scooters.

        Keep Scooting.
        God Bless Us All

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          #5
          Ditto to all Thinkimjob!!
          I hardly leave the house anymore either. The only thing I like doing is going to our farm where the only people i see is my husband and some of my kids occasionally. It stresses me out to even think about having to do it!
          I went to the doc for scripts and then pharmacy and a quick shop at our local IGA 2 days ago- thats the first time i've been 'out' in our small country town in 2 months.
          If we shop as we go through the larger town on the way to and from our farm I only see strangers.

          At least i have my husband and the farm. I don't think your married are you,or kids?
          Sometimes this makes things harder but at least they distract me from myself and give me an interest and occasionally allow me to feel useful.
          I realise you mostly wrote your post to vent and find some empathy and i hope sharing your frustrations and upset has helped. Usually if i do this i'm not really wanting 'helpful suggestions' but if your not like me -
          Is there anything in Goondiwindi that you might be able to get interested in (like pottery or reading with kids) where you could sit and chat etc without the awkward bumping into different people thing happening.
          I've never been into hobbies as such but i know others enjoy this method of getting to know others and maybe it might be an option to think about?

          I would love to talk about things other than how we are etc too but it seems that once we hit about 45 everyone around us is preoccupied with this. Even on msw i have attempted to converse in small degrees about other things at times but no one responds. Its understandable but it can be disappointing just like a disheartening encounter down town.
          Unfortunately this attitude is made worse by they people we encounter not really knowing us very well. Once the initial weather and health etc topics are exhausted and we have established something else in common it gets easier for both parties.

          I hope this doesn't come across as preachy i really don't mean it to.
          I can really empathise with you and feel free to share any time . I would be happy to listen.
          Caroline

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