Social exhaustion/fatigue

[KatieAgain]

I withdraw from people who suck the life out of me. I literally blast them out of my life. Too much stress. For example, I had a friend who spends hours watching the news and then wants to discuss all the horrible stuff going on in the World. No...I would much rather talk about the show Game of Thrones.

People who find out I am retired military want to swap war stories. No....I would rather pull my nails out...or their nails out...does not matter.

I am very selective in my friends and limit my exposure so I don't get worn out. I actually schedule time to be with them during the week. And when I am with them I rarely talk about MS and keep the conversation light with lots of laughter.

It's not the quantity of time you spend with friends, it's the quality.

[Dale76]

I'd like to point out a directly related issue is going to a friend's house or riding in their vehicle. I find both of these almost impossible.

I find it so hard to be in a strange place and try to be comfortable and manage my symptoms. I never know when I need to run to the washroom, need to eat, medicate etc to manage my symptoms, it is just to hard to deal with in front of people.

[Dale76]

Exactly!

I find it too exhausting mentally and physically to go into stores and shop. I do go, but it is tiring and noisy. I used to love to shop, but unless I have a specific task and can pretty much stay in one department I get very tired.

With social situations it mostly fatigue and not being comfortable. Unless it's a very special situation I don't want to bother. I like cozy situations or family get togethers where I can find my space and enjoy it. I find it frustrating not to be able to join in. Trips, particularly long ones leave me stressed and exhausted.

I used to love to travel; not so much anymore.

Guess it's just the MS getting it's way.

Diane

This is exactly how I feel. The only advantage I have found is I save money now since I only go to the store when I really NEED something!

[poppydarling]

I feel exactly the same, but having had a few years to get used to the "new me" I see some advantages

I'm more attracted to people who want to connect on a real level (and that often means people with chronic illnesses or those who have experienced great losses).

I'm able to pass on relationships where I played the part of performing monkey at lunches or parties or get togethers (a drawback to being social!). It felt like a box I was being put into by many people. I discovered who these people were when my symptoms and feelings started getting in the way of how it used to be. I couldn't pretend that I was the old me for their sake--it was exhausting.

I've learned that people who honor what I'm feeling on the day, without making too big a deal of it, are friendships that don't tire me. Those relationships are rare, yes, but they're the only ones I have the energy for now.

[palmtree]

It is indeed the extra energy that it takes to hide symptoms-put my hands behind my back so they can't see them shaking, just nod and smile because it don't want them to have to wait while I stumble for words and trying to think of the right answer when they ask, "how are you?"

It was those little things in common that made social interactions enjoyable and now I have nothing in common with anyone except for others who have similar illnesses.

[Tawanda]

Not a shut-in...YET

The party line would be "if they are truly your friends, they will understand", but I don't think it is that simple. Like seeks like. Social seeks social. I feel like if I acted like I felt, I would be all alone...and soon. For now, I still care enough to put on my game face in public, but I can't say how long I can keep this up...

[Diamond57]

Totally get it!

[DianeD]

I relate also

I find it too exhausting mentally and physically to go into stores and shop. I do go, but it is tiring and noisy. I used to love to shop, but unless I have a specific task and can pretty much stay in one department I get very tired.

With social situations it mostly fatigue and not being comfortable. Unless it's a very special situation I don't want to bother. I like cozy situations or family get togethers where I can find my space and enjoy it. I find it frustrating not to be able to join in. Trips, particularly long ones leave me stressed and exhausted.

I used to love to travel; not so much anymore.

Guess it's just the MS getting it's way.

Diane

[carolynj]

Absolutely.

[marti]

I really understand your problem. I even go into panic attacks when my kids come over for a short time. The thought of having to listen and talk to them exhausts me. And I love them dearly. It's not that I don't want to see them, but I've become a kind of recluse. I end up having to take a half of a Xanax to relax.

[Thinkimjob]

Same trouble. And when you keep knocking back invitations, you stop getting invited.

I truly don't know. I really can't go to 'functions', it just exhausts me. So you're caught between being physically ruined by the lunch, morning tea, whatever, and mentally buggered, as you lose friends.

I don't hold it against people. It's too hard, for me and them.

[MyGirlsMom]

Yes, but in a weird way. When I get home, I get worse pain in my feet and legs, tremors inside my body, ringing in the ears and muscle fatigue. Mentally and physically I think I could go all night, but if I did I would be a wreck the next day.

I also find that when I am out at night (which doesn't happen often) I don't want to go home and i can feel great. (i think the endorphins and adreneline mask pain), but later realize that I overdid it and end up with the aforementioned problems.

I also find that sometimes I need to take a benzodiazepine when I go to bed after a busy day and evening because my body can't calm itself down any more. It is like it is stuck....

I just retread what I wrote....I am not sure it makes sense...LOL!

[Dale76]

Does anyone else have this?

I used to be such a social butterfly, but now even an hour or two hanging out with my best friends completely exhausts me, physically and mentally.

What can I do? I don't want to lose my friends and I still want to go to social events.

Yes the same happens to me. It takes so much energy to hide my symptoms and have a normal interaction with my friends .

[Pomegranate]

Does anyone else have this?

I used to be such a social butterfly, but now even an hour or two hanging out with my best friends completely exhausts me, physically and mentally.

What can I do? I don't want to lose my friends and I still want to go to social events.