ugly cry

[tracibk]

So, I was driving home from having dinner with a good friend listening to Pearl Jam, when one of my favorite songs came on. I was singing along (loudly because I was by myself )when a wave of sadness came over me. The song reminded me of a time when my life was normal and healthy. I was able to do whatever I wanted. I could go anywhere and do any activity. I didn't have to worry about how far/long I would have to walk or stand...or what time of day it was...or how hot it was outside. At 38 I have two canes (home and car) and a wheelchair for long distances .I could feel the tears coming and then the gates opened. I let myself cry..... the ugly cry.....where you want to put your hands over your face .....but of course I was driving so that wasn't an option. But I let it out and felt better. Sometimes you just need to have a good cry I posted this because I know others here can relate and appreciate it.......I know I am not alone....others will read this and understand.

[Seasha]

Oh my gosh, tracibk - I think everyone of us can truly understand! I know I've done my share - cried buckets. And felt better afterwards. I think it's OK and perfectly healthy to cry, to just let it happen as part of the grieving process because in doing so it lets the dark sadness out - sort of like a valve release - and what then remains is more space to let the lightness in.

Lightness feels so much better and more expansive, don't you think?

Thanks for sharing this!

[Jules A]

Yes, I understand.

When I was first diagnosed I used to cry my eyes out while driving. It was the only time I truly felt alone and free to let my terror out. It was loud and ugly for sure.

[DebbieB]

Thanks for this posting Tracibk, for reminding us that it is okay to have a good ole' cry every now and then. We all need to grieve what we've lost. I think I'm due for one myself.

[Tawanda]

I am not a crier at all but I wish I was. I believe car cries are the absolute best because crying is so frowned upon in our society. In your car you are safe from prying eyes and judgement.

My trigger is the 80s station my husband programmed into our car's satellite radio. It's loaded with songs some my age might find mildly nostalgic, but for me they have that same sad "Pearl Jam" effect you referred to !

[misslux]

Definitely understand where you are coming from!

[Keleia]

Thank you for sharing

I just wanted to tell you that my very first post on this site is to say "Thank You!". It never ceases to amaze me that at just the right time, I read something that will bless my socks off! Your post about having an ugly cry was just what I needed this evening. Honestly, I am beginning to realize that only those who have this crappy disease really do "get it". I will try to hop on this forum when I can and encourage others and receive encouragement, too. Thank you to all the others who have shared their hearts and helped so many people just like me feel a little less alone...

[Queen Lavee]

I became a cryer afer MS. Only occasional tears as needed before.

[Thinkimjob]

Never cried over MS. Never cried when my grandfather, who I loved best of all in the world, died.

I am reduced to a sobbing ruin when I think about the farm, which has been sold.

The view of the house on the horizon through the fields of wheat... No doubt it was the homesickness of boarding school, but aaahh. Crying now. Even the thought.

[coral63]

Passes the box of Kleenex.......

You are so right Traci, you are not alone.

Being able to release our feelings in a manner that not only empowers but also revitalizes is a gift of love that we can give ourselves in any moment we desire. Acknowledging our feelings whatever they may be, says that we are human beings, and not some mechanical human doing. I find your timing apropos with new beginnings on the horizon!

[Windwalker]

Sounds like a beautiful cry.

[MSW1963]

I was the image of composure until MS.

Thinkimjob, reading about the farm just put me over the edge. So sorry to hear it.