Explaining why you've just lost your balance?

[heliotrope]

Hi all,
My symptoms have gotten worse, and while they're still not visible to other people, they're becoming more visible to me. Since I'm not at that point where I'd want to disclose, I'm struggling to explain things. Today's latest was me getting knocked off my feet at work - no one's fault. I could see it coming. I just can't catch myself enough to correct. I was lucky and was able to reach for a wall instead of falling. However, I was struggling with how to answer why I'd just "slipped." Any suggestions?

[Seasha]

I blamed it on my shoes, which was partially correct. I used to wear more pointed toed shoes. When it became more obvious by repeated falls, I started wearing "sensible" wide toed shoes. I also had to learn to walk more slowly and deliberately. That seemed to really help for some time. So, how are your shoes?

Eventually when I had to start using a cane, that set up another set of questions. I had to let everyone know at that point.

Stay safe from falling

[MSer102]

I believe in "never complain, never explain". Are you sure you need to explain beyond "oops, I slipped"? Why?

You said yourself that your "deficits" aren't noticeable to anyone else so you don't need to disclose. So why do you think you need to explain? My doctor said that self consciousness is a story that plays in our own heads - which we can control and change - and it's as much of an obstacle as physical problems that we can't control. And I don't think you need to feel embarrassed by something that you don't have any control over.

Self consciousness is something that you can control your reaction to. Is your self consciousness making you think that an incident is a bigger "social" problem than it really is so you think you have to explain it when nobody else thinks it's a big deal? And besides that it isn't any of their business?

I think you can get by with acknowledging that something happened - oops I slipped or oops I got off balance - and then move on to something else. As long as it's still nobody's business why something happened I don't think you need to feel obligated to come up with an explanation for why.

[Cat Mom]

If anybody is looking at you, just say, "First day with my new feet!"
Jen

[ms382012]

vertigo

I just tell people I have chronic vertigo if I feel that an explanation is needed. It's true. I don't have to tell them WHY I have vertigo. I've disclosed to one lady I come into contact with quite a bit (client), not because of vertigo, but because I was a bit "out of it" and incredibly fatigued. She suspects she may have MS, and had blamed tripping over nothing on "new shoes" earlier in the day. We both had a laugh over it, because she didn't really trip over her new shoes.

[KatieAgain]

I pretty much disclose now, if asked. But when I didn't disclose I would simply say I am having issues with my knees because I was running too much. Knee problems always explain balance issues to a person that does not know about MS.

[SNOOPY]

Hi heliotrope,

If directly asked I simply smile and say "lousy balance." With this answer I am being truthful without explaining. Usually I am asked if I'm okay and with a smile my answer is "I'm fine."

I feel no need to explain. Those that know me know the answer without asking.

[heliotrope]

Thanks everyone. My symptoms are becoming noticeable mostly in "incidents" like this one - the person who hit me was afraid they'd hurt me... They hadn't (just no balance!) and now I have a response for next time!

[WillyNilly]

Hi helio

I'd be super cautious about disclosing anything to anybody at work anyway.
Unless or until you need accommodations I would NOT say anything about MS. If you were to actually get injured through no fault of your own, it's possible the company would try to use it against you.

[onlyairfare]

I'm big on non-disclosure at work too. My balance is not great so I move slowly and carefully.

But ear infections can damage the ear and cause vertigo, and so can Meniere's disease. For my slight limp due to a weak right leg, I'll just say "Old war injuries" or "Bad ankle sprain at Mardi Gras in New Orleans." I think those would explain a "slip" too.

[Tracelyn]

I have had several incidents in the last few months where I got tripped up on my own feet.

I have been lucky where I caught myself before the big fall, but after speaking with my doctor she suggested I think about getting a cane. I have not moved that direction yet, but if and when I find my stumbling becoming more frequent I will.

I think the most frustrating part is my husband tells me to "slow down and not move so fast". Slow down, heck I only took 3 steps and lost my balance!

Either way, just wanted to let you know that you have my support.

[Special Kay]

No explanation necessary. If you want to say something, it could be "good lord, these shoes!" or "wow, guess I got up too fast!" or "geez, balance much, Special Kay!?" something like that.

I agree with whoever said to be careful not to disclose at work if you don't have to yet.

[lusciousleaves]

This happened to me while shopping in a department store awhile back. I seemingly started tipping over out of nowhere after looking to one side and had to catch myself on the clothing racks. The gal who had just asked my opinion of pajama selections for her daughter-in-law saw it. I looked at her and said, "I really should stop hitting the bottle so early in the morning." She got a huge kick out of it, and I have to say that response made me laugh too.

[michelerenee]

I like the idea of using humor to diffuse the situation.

I took a big spill walking off of a plane. Wearing a dress of course. Lol. AND blocking the rest of the passengers on the jetway. On the bright side a really cute guy helped me up. I skinned my knee up very badly and almost cried but i held my head high and continued on. What else can we do?