I am being a big debbie downer this birthday. I am not depressed, but all I can think about is how I spent my last birthday. I had just gotten over the shingles and started having really bad muscle spasms that were so painful I could hardly move. This started the cycle of the 6-7 more ER visits that eventually made them take me serious and send me to the correct Dr's where I got my MS diagnosis very quickly. My last year just wasn't the best year in my opinion. I know I am celebrating a new year, but lots of my friends left me when I was diagnosed and a party would just remind me of what all I lost last year. I lost most of my mobility, most of my friends, my strength, my ability to work, officially labeled disabled by SSD, Neuro, and LTD's independent Neuro. I am so grateful for the wonderful family and husband I have, but I don't want a big party reminder of what all I have lost in the past year either. Is that wrong of me?
Another slap in the face yesterday was my family (cousins) put together a bbq benefit for family/friends with some auction items to raise money for my Dr bills and especially my wheelchair. That got cancelled due to extreme circumstances that were totally understandable and rescheduled for Dec. 1. Now they are using all of the items collected for a benefit for that auction/bbq for another person....................I am just a little hurt and ya, maybe I am just dwelling on a bad situation right now, and probably being VERY selfish. I know I have posted a lot of debbie downer things lately and have been moody......The Tysabri does the moodiness, but we are working with that, and I am talking with a counselor about the rest of it, but I am not sure she would understand all of this. Am I just being a total selfish jerk? My husband was going to just have brothers/in-law and sisters/in-law over for cake and I said no presents and no big party like we always do. and NO presents. Am I wrong?
Another slap in the face yesterday was my family (cousins) put together a bbq benefit for family/friends with some auction items to raise money for my Dr bills and especially my wheelchair. That got cancelled due to extreme circumstances that were totally understandable and rescheduled for Dec. 1. Now they are using all of the items collected for a benefit for that auction/bbq for another person....................I am just a little hurt and ya, maybe I am just dwelling on a bad situation right now, and probably being VERY selfish. I know I have posted a lot of debbie downer things lately and have been moody......The Tysabri does the moodiness, but we are working with that, and I am talking with a counselor about the rest of it, but I am not sure she would understand all of this. Am I just being a total selfish jerk? My husband was going to just have brothers/in-law and sisters/in-law over for cake and I said no presents and no big party like we always do. and NO presents. Am I wrong?
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