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    Just a Vent!

    I am having such a hard time at work right now, and no one will listen to me or take me seriously about how bad it has gotten for me.
    My Dr says work is good therapy, which I do agree with the way he thinks. He does not want me sitting at home and just wasting away. That I agree with and hope to be able to work as long as possible.
    BUT
    I do work in a factory and need to be able to think critically and quickly at times. I am having a very hard time doing this.
    I must say I was always very proud of myself because I was a smart girl, a quick learner and could do anything or figure out anything that was put in front of me, unless it required muscle...I could never do that...I am not a physically strong girl, but mentally very strong.
    Not anymore. I am having major problems with memory and just every day thinking now. I do often have to just stop mid work and think about what I am doing again. This should come naturally as I have been there for almost 8 years now in the same job.
    Many people at work don't know of my diagnosis and even the ones that do don't understand all of the battles I have to fight with it.
    There are quite a few people at work, I am going to say mainly the mechanics, they already think they are above us anyway, that think it is their God given right to treat people they feel are below them like they are stupid. They treat some people very badly and make fun of people that are slower to learn or slower to get a job done.
    I have become one of those people that has been the brunt of their jokes lately. Never in my life have I experienced this. I do stick up for myself and I have had arguments with a couple of these people. Which makes my nights at work even more stressful.
    It has gotten so bad that I went one night being called a "retard" to my face by a mechanic because I couldn't do something on a machine that I was never even taught. This happened again just last week. I was never trained on something I was doing but he thought I should just know because it was "easy" and me and the lady I was working with were treated very badly by him because we didn't know. I finally blew up. I told him off and his supervisor came to me later and asked me about what happened. I told him and he told me good job. This isn't my job to put HIS mechanic or HIS people in line because they feel they can make fun of others.

    This issue is making me very depressed and making me absolutely HATE my job.
    I am thinking about it now because I have to work the next three nights and I am dreading it.
    I just hate mean people in general.

    How do you deal with the changes that are happening?
    I feel daily that I am "stupid" and I have never felt this way before.
    DX 10/26/11

    #2
    This goes beyond MS.... your company is allowing a downright hostile work environment. It's harrassment as much as the mechanic coming up and squeezing your butt... Go to the top of the food chain there... That path is if you want to continue where you are.

    I have been on short term since November, but my doctor has a slightly different approach to dealing with work and MS. My work is a stressful situation for both politics and what we do. It was my intent and hope to work part time, I am not able to physically deal with working everyday right now. I am hoping that will balance out after the last flare settles and we see what the real results are. But, I know I can definitely work every other day. I have the pattern of function well one day, fatigue / neuropathy / spasms kick my butt the next and so on and so on.... Anyway, my doctor heard the whole story about my work environment and agrees that both my flares are directly related to work stress, there were major conflict that resulted in a flare. So, while work may be good for you and I agree with that logic, but stress is the worst thing in the world for you.

    Talk to your doctor again, both neuro and primary, to go over options for maybe applying for disability and working part time. That is the path I'll be taking... I don't like being home all the time and I keep myself busy, but I do look forward to getting the release to go back to work. I won't be returning to the job I've been at for years. Have you considered a different job? I'm not sure you actually working is as much the problem as the jerks your forced to deal with.

    Check out the ADA rules / guidelines. There are accomodations you can request that the company will need to at least consider or give a reason why its an unreasonable hardship.

    Good luck... I've been dealing with the work crap too, know how frustrating it can be. Even those who know about the MS, just don't do any reading to understand what they are dealing with. Believe it or not, the head of our HR department truly does not believe MS is a disability...

    Anyway, good luck, keep posting and venting, I know for me it helps to vent about it, helps to know someone else is listening and cares....

    Jen

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you Jen! You made me feel a lot better about this situation.

      I cannot believe the way your HR department's way of thinking. I do believe my HR department is a little uneducated as there is another lady at work that has MS and she has a flair every few years. I have been averaging about 1 a year since my symptoms have started. I do hope they are understanding and realize that it most definitely is different for everyone. If not I guess I will be the one to educate them a little bit more.

      The supervisor that came to speak to me did actually do research on MS when he found out that I was diagnosed and he does actually know of some of the things I have to deal with. Does he understand? No of course not, he doesn't have it. But he is sympathetic to it at least. He is also really pushing me to get into school again and get my degree so I can get off of the production floor as he knows that someday it will be too much for me.

      I have never turned these people in for treating people the way that they do because I just do not want to get anyone into trouble at work, but it has GOT to stop. Two of the girls there actually make people cry many times a week because of how mean they are, This upsets me very much. No one has the right to treat others this way. Even when my brain was 100% I never treated others badly. If someone needed help I would share my knowledge or ability, this would make me feel good. I would not ridicule them.
      DX 10/26/11

      Comment


        #4
        Life is too short to hate what you're doing. I've always said that if I start dreading going to work, it's time to find a new job. Maybe it's time for you to find something less stressful, either within your own company or somewhere else. And I would definitely recommend considering going back to school and getting your degree. Will your employer pay for your education? That would be a great incentive.

        I hope something works out for you soon.

        Big hugs,

        Lisa
        Joy is not the absence of suffering. It is the presence of God.
        Cut aspartame from my diet in 2012 and my symptoms have slowly disappeared. Interesting!
        Alpha Lipoic Acid (200 mg) + Acetyl L-carnitine (1,000 mg) = No more fatigue for me!

        Comment


          #5
          Wow.. you go girl!! What an amazing attitude you have.
          KNow this.. people who tease, are not sensitive, considerate and most often lack control over THEIR lives so they mess with others.

          Know this.. these are the lessons YOU are to learn. Tell me what you think they are.. you already ARE learning them. Ok you can leave, move on..but carry these lessons with you.. YOU got it girl!!

          Hugs, keep up your loving, spirited attitude

          Jan
          I believe in miracles~!
          2004 Benign MS 2008 NOT MS
          Finally DX: RR MS 02.24.10

          Comment


            #6
            Yes my employer does have a tuition reimbursement program. I was in school 2 years ago and applied for it and was denied. The plant manager at the time was denying most of the requests. He is gone now so I will reapply when I decide what it is I want to be when I grow up...lol

            I only have about 6 months left in order to get my associates degree, I dropped out of school when my employer was offering overtime. I decided making more money was more important at the time and they don't offer overtime very often. I do regret it now.
            Jan, funny you should mentions the lessons I am learning. I was just thinking about that while driving to work last night.

            I most definitely am learning lessons and I do believe I am becoming a more understanding, compassionate and overall much better person with having MS. Physically MS sucks, but once you get past the shock, denial, sadness, anger and every other emotion that comes along with this diagnosis or any other crappy diagnosis, you can grow as a person mentally and emotionally if you allow yourself to.

            I do have to say I was also asking God on the way to work....."Why me?" ....I thought I already was a pretty decent person and why do I need these lessons? Maybe in time I will find out..."why me"

            For now I just remind myself daily of all of the blessings I already have and try not to have very many pity party days...I know those are even good for me...they motivate me and kick me in the butt to prove that MS doesn't have the best of me...and I WILL prove it....
            Thank you everyone!
            DX 10/26/11

            Comment


              #7
              Hello. It sounds to me like this workplace bullying is not restricted to people with MS, but is widespread.

              It's illegal to treat people this way in Australia. I presume it's also illegal in the USA.

              Someone usually has to be the whistleblower, but hard as it is, the whistle needs to be blown.

              Comment


                #8
                I get it

                Hi Valeriem,

                I just got diagnosed with MS last year, and a couple of weeks after the diagnosis and right smack dab in the middle of one a full blown relapse, I got a wonderful opportunity to teach at the university where I earned my Bachelors degree. I'd taught on the college level before, but this teaching experience was so hard on my body, and by the end of the semester, I had relapsed again. It wasn't just the work, but the rush, rush atmosphere of meetings, deadlines, expectations, demands, late nights, all-nighters - it all took a toll on me.

                Now, I'm having cognitive issues as well. I'm an English teacher and words have never been a problem for me, but now I'll talk and mid-sentence stop talking because I can't remember what word to say next. I absolutely HATE it. Have gotten straight A's in my previous semesters (working on a Teaching Writing Certificate), but this last semester I struggled greatly just trying to understand the articles we were assigned to read, and I spent sleepless night reading essays and preparing lessons, and with MS I have to sleep many hours now. I am applying for Disability because I forced myself to do something that is just not feasible for me anymore. Hopefully, after things settle down again, I will return to teaching, but only one class and I'll be done with my certificate program, so I can concentrate on my teaching.

                I hate to hear that you are having cognition issues. It is scary and very frustrating. I have to write down everything. I've recently purchased a smartphone so that I can put all of my appointments and reminders in it. I can update it from anywhere. It's a lifesaver.

                And about your job, and, pardon my French , the idiots who are harassing you and your fellow workers, this is morally and legally wrong. I know how difficult it is to consider turning these bullies in, so perhaps a group of you who are being harassed can turn them in together, so that no one has to take the full impact of blowing the whistle. I'm not going to say that it is easy or that the fallout will be pleasant. But the alternative is to continue to endure the cruelty of these ignorant people. I wouldn't suggest you doing it alone because the stress of that alone would, I think, affect you physically. But if you could get a group of you to do it, that would be best.

                Finally, stay encouraged. You sound like a very kind person. Don't let those bullies sully, diminish or discourage your goodness. I like the MS societies T-shirt mottos. MS - Mighty Strong, Most Special, My Strength, and my favorite Magnificently Superb.

                Remember no matter what MS takes from you physically, you will remain Magnificently Superb.

                God Bless,
                iluv2teach

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