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    PTSD?

    Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. For those of you that don't know I was diagnosed over a year ago when I was only 18. I'm in college now and it's been very hard to adjust to this. I was diagnosed right before my sophomore year and started rebif about a week before school (this all was very traumatic for me I've been afraid of needles my entire life)

    I somehow miraculously made it through my sophomore year, I feel like I just blocked it out and said I would handle it when I got home fpr the summer. Before the summer I had a follow up MRI which showed I had new lesions. After that I developed a panic disorder. I have panic attacks and can't drink caffiene anymore, it's really scary but still I pushed on and finished my sophmore year with the help of meds.

    Over the summer I had another MRI and it was good results the meds are working!

    Now in my junior year I feel alot of negativity. I was so happy to be home all summer it's like home is my rock I'm really close with my family and noone at school knows about my MS. I've been having a tough time lately. I feel alot of anxiety and sort of like there's an impending doom. Like since things are steady at the moment that something bad has to happen and is going to happen. I'm really feeling alot of anxiety my mom said she thinks I might have PTSD and that I deserve good things in life I shouldn't think everytime things are okay that something horrible will happen. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Does anyone think this could be PTSD? I feel like I just have alot going on I can't wait to be done school and be with my family to heal instead of running back and forth.

    I just want to enjoy that things are good instead of thinking something bad is going to happen!

    Thank you I just needed to vent!

    #2
    I'm sorry you've been through so much. I totally understand the trauma; I've always been very needle-phobic too and I STILL hate the shots even after several years!

    It does not sound to me quite like PTSD (here are the criteria if you are interested in reading them: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/...iv-tr-ptsd.asp ) but certainly anxiety in response to very stressful circumstances and a different type of trauma. I think seeing a therapist could certainly help if you find one who is a good fit for you. I know speaking with counselors at times has been helpful in my own journey of dealing with my diagnosis and I really believe it's worth looking into.
    2001: 1st 2 relapses, "probable MS." 2007: 3rd relapse. Dx of RRMS confirmed by MS specialist. Started Cpx. (Off Cpx Feb 08-Mar 09 to start a family; twins!) Dec '09: Started Beta. Oct '13: Started Tecfidera. May '15: Considering Gilenya.

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      #3
      im no psychologist, but i don't think so. i could just a case of depression or anxiety.

      i got anxiety last year (junior year of college) and it led to depression. i am on anti-depressants now and fell good.

      it could also be that you are still accepting and coming to terms with everything. it took me 2 years to accept it and stop being depressed about it.

      now, almost 8 years latter, i am in my 4th out of 5 years of college (i'm going for 5 years because i am a double major, political and environmental science, and taking a lab and 2 senior seminars at the same time seemed like 2 much for anyone)

      most, if not all my friends know about my MS. they understand that sometimes i will need a shoulder to lean on (literally)

      and i do understand what ur going threw. i was dxd at 13. it is tough doing though high school with MS.
      Learn from yesterday
      Live for today
      Hope for tomorrow

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        #4
        For the last couple of years I've been following an educational series for psychotherapists. Earlier this year, one of the topics was PTSD. One of the aspects discussed was how the view of what can cause PTSD has broadened. The traditional way of viewing PTSD was that it was generally caused by huge events, like war, a natural disaster, a terrible accident of some kind, a physical assault, a sexual assault. But now, the effects of more personal traumas, like dealing with a diagnosis of a serious medical like cancer or MS, are recognized as being significant enough to cause PTSD.

        So yes. Based on these discussions between psychologists and psychiatrists, you very well might have PTSD. And because of the new, broader view of the causes, you're more likely now than ever to be able to find a clinician who is properly prepared to treat you for it.

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          #5
          Yes, I do feel like that, and for me it is plain old anxiety, I wait for whatever it is that is surely going to happen or go wrong. It has to be a common result of stress and anxiety. College is a tough time in itself, plus you have your MS to deal with. It would be good if you had someone to talk with, just to let it out. We do understand here! Also wonder if some counseling might be available at school.

          My dd saw a counselor during a health crises when she was also in college, and it helped her get through. Something about it not being family was beneficial, not that we weren't here for her. It was just good. Maybe check that out.

          Good luck getting thru this semester. You can think about all that is going on over the holiday break. Let us know how you are doing!

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            #6
            This PTSD stuff is just weird.
            Back in 1989 I was on a sub that had a pretty bad accident (bad enough that we were a "breaking news" story on CNN for a day). I was on watch when it happened and I was only guy in the crew to get a letter of commondation for the stuff I did. It gets weird in my case because I still don't remember what happened or what I did.
            It was like I was running on automatic for a couple of days.

            Its never bugged me.

            I know that a blackout like that is a huge warning sign for PTSD and the VA knows about it, but I've never had to deal with the effects of "traditional" PTSD. No nightmares, no trauma (although I can't watch the opening scene of a movie called The Abyss without feeling really uncomfortable), no fallout.

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              #7
              I can relate! When you said you just blocked it out, and went about completing your soph year, I know exactly what you meant. I have considered writing a book on voluntary dissociation; dissociation is what most people think of when they think of split personality.

              I was diagnosed in June 2009, and was also needle phobic, but jumped right into Rebif. With a long history of diverticulitis (digestive illness), in December of 2009, I became septic, and had to have an emergency colostomy! Holy cow! I thought colostomies were only for 98 year old men with stained pants. I was wrong. I had no choice if I wanted to live. Then 10 months later, more major surgery to reverse the colostomy, and further repair my innards. That was a year ago.

              I still find myself in bouts of crying out of nowhere. It is PTSD. I know it. And you know what? It doesn't matter what you call it, this whole thing is clearly traumatic for you, as well it should be! I have begun to go to therapy, and it is helping enormously. I was not having panic attacks, and therefore haven't sought medication, which you might want to do. Cognitive behavioral therapy does wonders for me, and has helped me so much. My next appointment is Thursday.

              So hang in there, and nurture yourself, and take care of yourself. You've been through the ringer. And you will likely run into many people who don't get it, but here we all get it.

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                #8
                You are young and away from home. Many kids who go to college for the first time have a hard time even when healthy. It shouldn't be shocking that you are having a hard time adjusting to so many new things expecially when one of the new things is a dianosis that will throw the toughest of people off their game.
                Don't go looking for labels and drugs to help too quickly. Try exercising when you feel anxious. Find a club to join. Gather yourself a group of friends you trust. Maybe you'll find just one that you can really talk to and build a great friendship. That will help. If you try and try to overcome your anxiety yourself and just can't, then go to your MS specialist and ask for help.

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                  #9
                  Hello dontstopbelieving,

                  Anxiety and panic attacks are anxiety disorders as is PTSD. You can deal with anxiety/panic attacks without having PTSD.

                  The only way to know if you are dealing with PTSD is to see a Psychiatrist. There is alot that goes into PTSD that anxiety/panic attacks don't even touch.

                  I do know that there is a criteria for diagnosing PTSD. I also know that there is current changes in general to the DSM which I don't believe is out yet. I don't know if the current criteria for PTSD will have changes.

                  Below are to URLs that deal with PTSD. One is what Redwings referred to about current criteria falling short in diagnosing PTSD.

                  The second URL is what is used for the current DSM criteria for diagnosing PTSD.


                  http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/12...ort/21971.html

                  http://www.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/dsm.htm

                  Best wishes dontstopbelieving.
                  Diagnosed 1984
                  “Lightworkers aren’t here to avoid the darkness…they are here to transform the darkness through the illuminating power of love.” Muses from a mystic

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                    #10
                    I want to thank you all so much for your help. I was feeling really lost yesterday and it's hard because noone even the people closest to me can understand what im feeling. I thank you so much for understanding and giving me guidance. I feel much more hopeful today. Im back at school after a long weekend of fall break at home. I miss home and all the comforts but I'm ready to face my battle and get my education. Thank you all for your help and support. I'll keep you updated.

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                      #11
                      Thanks for reporting back in, so glad you are doing better! Hang in there!

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