I just have to get it off of my chest.
I feel like crap but I am afraid too go to the doctor anymore.
After trying to get relief for my symptoms (the only medication I ever got was actually prescribed for my costochondritis, but I used it for my TN like symptoms and it helped) and being sent away (We don't know what's wrong with you i.e: she's drug seeking or attention seeking, her MRI and Lumbar is clean) I just feel like I cant face anymore doctors or tests. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. literally. (for info: I don't have a diagnosis, just a pile of symptoms and a few shrugging doctors)
Right now I cant rest because anytime my body rests or is quiet in any way I start getting electrical charged feelings and jerking in my body. (some big, some small all completely unnerving. I feel sore in my stomach and neck from all the tiny jerks (which are barely noticeable but in the sum are quite exhaustive) I am weak, I am shaky and I am fed up.
But I am also scared.
I just feel like I cant bear going to a doctor and being dismissed. EVEN ONE MORE TIME. (like it will just break me) I feel panicky and I get a sick feeling in my gut when I think about going to a dr. I have never had an anxiety disorder, but I think this is what it may feel a like.
I had muscles cramps in my abdomen and lower back today and yesterday and I couldn't decide if it was spasticity or anxiety. That is frightening.
At this point I don't want to even tell you guys everything because I think you must all think the same about me every time I post something about all of my weird symptoms (heck! Even I think it all sounds crazy!!)
I feel like there has been a terrible war going on for the last 5 months, but it was just me, everybody else is fine.
I decided a few weeks ago that I was falling apart due to all of these symptoms, the uncertainty and my feeling deeply insecure and not trusting my own body aymore. I made an appointment to see a therapist to talk about all of this, but I cant get in until the end of november.
I really try to stay upbeat on the outside, but inside I am feeling more and more lost. I have even separated from my BF in order to sort out my body/head stuff and because I just cant share it. So now I am lonely on top.
Just having such a hard time coping. I really am.
I am so sorry this is such a long and whiney post and my thanks to anyone who stuck with it long enough to get this far.
I feel like crap but I am afraid too go to the doctor anymore.
After trying to get relief for my symptoms (the only medication I ever got was actually prescribed for my costochondritis, but I used it for my TN like symptoms and it helped) and being sent away (We don't know what's wrong with you i.e: she's drug seeking or attention seeking, her MRI and Lumbar is clean) I just feel like I cant face anymore doctors or tests. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. literally. (for info: I don't have a diagnosis, just a pile of symptoms and a few shrugging doctors)
Right now I cant rest because anytime my body rests or is quiet in any way I start getting electrical charged feelings and jerking in my body. (some big, some small all completely unnerving. I feel sore in my stomach and neck from all the tiny jerks (which are barely noticeable but in the sum are quite exhaustive) I am weak, I am shaky and I am fed up.
But I am also scared.
I just feel like I cant bear going to a doctor and being dismissed. EVEN ONE MORE TIME. (like it will just break me) I feel panicky and I get a sick feeling in my gut when I think about going to a dr. I have never had an anxiety disorder, but I think this is what it may feel a like.
I had muscles cramps in my abdomen and lower back today and yesterday and I couldn't decide if it was spasticity or anxiety. That is frightening.
At this point I don't want to even tell you guys everything because I think you must all think the same about me every time I post something about all of my weird symptoms (heck! Even I think it all sounds crazy!!)
I feel like there has been a terrible war going on for the last 5 months, but it was just me, everybody else is fine.
I decided a few weeks ago that I was falling apart due to all of these symptoms, the uncertainty and my feeling deeply insecure and not trusting my own body aymore. I made an appointment to see a therapist to talk about all of this, but I cant get in until the end of november.
I really try to stay upbeat on the outside, but inside I am feeling more and more lost. I have even separated from my BF in order to sort out my body/head stuff and because I just cant share it. So now I am lonely on top.
Just having such a hard time coping. I really am.
I am so sorry this is such a long and whiney post and my thanks to anyone who stuck with it long enough to get this far.
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