"WHY GO THERE"


A short story written by Pat Gurney © 1999



PREFACE BY AUTHOR: From time to time, we all feel that we are the only ones who ever felt totally alone and depressed. It is such a miserable, lonely existence! Can anyone disagree or never feel they ever experienced this feeling or place? I know I have been there, and each time, one time again, too often! I ask myself . . . ..



"Why go there?" I certainly won't enjoy myself there! I absolutely hate it there! I guess deep down inside I want to go or just have to go there. With serious baggage to carry around, like chronic pain and illness, it is just a short jot down the road. I am so very, very tired and have no other choice, I say.


Trying to face this new day with a smile, I look up and see the sunlight from Grand Avenue, shinning brightly, smiles all about, my goodness, it looks so inviting! "But no," I say grimly, "I am just not up to it today! Grand Avenue is so very far away! I have all this baggage to carry, the road is long and hot, no, I can't go there today."


As I turn away, I hear myself mutter, "maybe some other day," Turning from Grand Avenue's direction, I see Happy Day Lane. Again, that road is so busy, we just know we will never get there! Green grass, people with their picnic baskets, children playing and flying kites, it looks like a good place to go. Bends and turns along the flower studded path, shade trees making shadows dance along the way, a smile almost crosses my lips. Oh how good that street looks! A gentle breeze lightly tosses my tresses about with a gentle touch, making me take a big, long breath.


Then I notice my tired feet, as my eyes turn down to the ground once more. I feel a bit of a chill as my world starts to darken and the anxiety starts to build. Maybe when it is not so busy with people everywhere, I could find a place to rest on the way. "Not today, not so much laughter, what noise!" I screamed as I clutched my ears. Frightened, feeling so alone again, finally I turn around to go back and look to the other side. Oh how familiar this place looks!


Yes! I know I can go there. The street sign is down, it has been for ever so long. Misery's Way, I think it was marked when I first went there. It is dark, and comfortable. No lights to be seen, just an eerie glow and no one in sight. The house I go to looks worn, shutters off their hinges, hardly any signs of the white paint that once covered the slatted sides of the house, dark and glum, but I like it. I guess. I come here enough. No birds sing here, the sky is gray, dark clouds hover, closing in this place of mine. The air is still. The road is short, the house, although rundown, looks like a good haven. I don't have to look to find my way, my feet seem to know just where to go.


My eyes are blurred, as I reach my home I have made for myself. I numbly reach for the tissue box. I don't need to see, I know exactly where to reach, for I have reached out for them so many times. I lay there, so all alone. Poor me, but that is just my luck! I know there is a reason I chose this road again! There is a very good reason! Thinking, I come across one good reason, then another, reasons flying, all this baggage to carry! Yes, that is it. A tear spilled down my all ready tear streaked cheek .


Just then, I hear a sound at the door! Will I go see who might be there? No. That won't help me feel better, and I don't want anyone to see me this way. The knocking continues! I start to get mad!


"Go away!," I yelled with a whine. The knocking continued! Getting louder, I realized this person was not going to leave! I pulled my limp body off that lonely, lumpy mattress and struggled angrily to the door.


"I'm coming," I shouted as I staggered, lifelessly towards the door.


As I cautiously twisted the knob on the creaking door with lose hinges, it opened only wide enough to see who it was. It was a young girl. I opened the moaning door wider to get a better look at my visitor. "Not many young girls come around here very often," I gruffly scolded. She was lost! I was sure of it.


She asked me if she could come in for a minute. "Why not," I thought out loud, "got nothing else to do right now." The young, pretty child timidly stepped into the house, swaying her brown curls gingerly as she tripped on the corner of the torn up old rag rug just inside the door.


"My name is Mary. she told me, "I was on 'Happy Day Lane' with my mommy, daddy and brother when all of a sudden Tommy told me he broke my doll, Molly. He was laughing and I started to cry. As I wiped my tears, I found myself right out side your door! Will you help me find my mommy?"


She had the saddest, brown eyes, welled with tears, just looking to me for help!


The sound I heard was a dog barking, taking my eyes from the little girl and back to the open door. "No little dogs came here," I thought as I scratched my right arm. The little girl called her puppy. He scrambled to her with such a bounce I couldn't help but laugh. We talked a little longer, then I suggested we start down the dark path to the crossroads where I had just been earlier today.


"You see the sign, 'Happy Day Lane,' wishing her on her way.


"I can't read," the little girl cried. She started back to Misery's Way.


"Stop!," I screamed, "You don't want to go there!" The words echoed in my ears!


Her tears were drying and with a finger in her mouth, and a fist next to her eye, she whispered "Will you come with me and help me find my family? My mommy needs me!" She came up to me, held my hand and we started to walk. My little friend and I walked and talked for what seemed for ever before I realized I was smiling! I looked behind us and the cross roads where we started our journey, was clean out of sight now.


All around us, were families scurrying about enjoying the lovely day, the sun shone brightly, the breeze dancing delightfully like fairies prancing across meadow grasses. Oh how beautiful Happy Day Lane was! I looked down for my little friend and her puppy. I was alone! I called out, once, many times but Mary and her puppy were nowhere to be found!


I kept walking down Happy Day Lane, now by myself. Off to the right, I heard my new, little friend's puppy barking as Mary threw him a ball.


"Come along now, my angel," a warm and loving mother's voice called, "Daddy and Tommy are waiting for us."


I smiled at her and waved to her and her mother. How good I felt, my baggage was not so heavy now, I continued to walk down Happy Day Lane and now knew why it was so very long. Once you start down its very pleasant path, you never want it to end!


I may visit my place on Misery's Way again from time to time, but now I will always remember my sweet little friend and know there are far more happy places to visit. Who know, I may even take Grand Avenue tomorrow!

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