MS and Your Feelings, Handling the Ups and Downs of Multiple Sclerosis

By Allison Shadday, LCSW (Hunter House Publishers, 2007)

Reviewed by DeanOP

Among the pre-press comments about this book is the following from Christine Ratliff, editor of MSFocus magazine: “A long overdue book on managing the emotional impact of MS!” She is absolutely correct.

We have plenty of books on managing symptoms, accommodating disability, and dealing with the physical aspects of MS. Up until now no one has ever written an entire book about the variety of emotional experiences that go with an unpredictable, progressive, chronic disease and, most importantly, what to do about them.

 As I started reading the book my entire being heaved a sigh of relief and said, “At last!”

At last, somebody gets it. At last, somebody with professional credentials has taken the time to tell everyone (who reads the book) what it can feel like. At last, someone is concentrating, beyond the physical effects of MS, on the day-to-day struggles inside. The struggle for self-esteem, the struggle to think positively, the struggle to keep involved in relationships and community.

Ms. Shadday takes the reader from diagnosis through the responses of denial, anger, guilt and grief. She moves on then to self-esteem building, self nurturing, handling cognitive issues, communication with loved ones, and the need for community support, all from an emotional perspective—from how these things feel, in their myriad ways, to all of us. The appendices include lists of resources and MSWorld, Inc. is one of them!

A licensed clinical social worker, Allison Shadday began a counseling service for people with MS after she was diagnosed with it herself. Consequently, this book is well supplied with quoted stories from real people in the throes of whichever emotional situation the author is presenting. There will be something among those words for every reader; such is the variety of responses among us.

In addition to Ms. Shadday’s sensitive and accurate portrayal of our difficulties, and the honest and unvarnished personal stories of people with MS deepening the impact, there are exercises that go with each chapter to help the reader understand and cope with his/her own feelings. The author states in the introductory chapter that she wrote the book, in part, to reach the many people who cannot afford specialized counseling (and may not even know it might help). Each chapter’s exercise is thought provoking and engaging. You can go as deeply as you wish. She recommends sharing your completed exercise with those you love, and she offers suggestions as to how best to do this from a good-communications perspective.

The book can be read as you wish, straight through or as chapters strike you. If you’ve been looking for a guide to help you get more deeply in touch with yourself and want relief from the kind of stress living with a chronic illness creates, this is may be the book you’ve been waiting for. Subjectively, I see myself carrying it around along with a journal, handheld, or little tape recorder for expressingthoughts on the exercises. Friends of people with MS, Christmas is coming. This book and a nice journal to go with it could make a thoughtful gift for the right person. And, deep down inside where the feelings are, we are all The Right Person.

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