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Quality Time With Kids
Lies in Many Places

by LIZ THOMPSON

"Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil; our great hope lies in developing what is good." – Calvin Coolidge

Life can be like a coffee pot. (No, I won't be going the Forrest Gump route.)

Recently our latest, fancy coffee pot bit the dust. First it leaked, then it produced a steady stream of hot coffee onto the kitchen counter. We sent it to its grave by way of the trash can.

We pulled out our nine-dollar coffee pot that simply brews coffee. No self-grinding, auto turn-off, timer to start brewing, alarm when the brewing was complete and no button to choose the strength of the coffee. But it works every time.

This reminded me of the scene in the movie Spanglish when the new housekeeper was asked to make some coffee. She turned to see a sterling silver contraption that most people would not figure out. Why so complicated for such a small pleasure?

These are clear examples of the theory "less is more."

Life gets complicated enough without us adding to the list of demands we place on ourselves. Work overtime, lose weight, work out to get the perfect abs, pay the bills, spend time with our family, take a vacation – the list is endless. Then I read that a grocery store chain is going to install small movie screens inside the grocery cart "cars" the children ride in – to keep them entertained. The parents pay one dollar.

My reaction was not positive.

These long and bulky carts attached to the adult grocery carts, take up more room in the aisles than the electric scooter I use. Why do children need to be entertained in the grocery store? I know that children get antsy when they can't run and play or when they are bored. When my daughter was young, I had to set rules and let her know it was our time together. As she grew able, she helped me and I taught her to compare prices and use coupons. Now with her three children, these lessons prove valuable.

But had she been watching a movie, I guess my shopping trip would need to be at least one and one-half hours long so she could finish watching the movie? I would not have been teaching her anything and we would not have been communicating. I was working then and we had little time together. I squeezed in every minute of time with her that was possible. Even if it was shopping or watching her run and play.

Today our country has problems with children's excess weight. Most children spend more than enough time sitting in front of a computer, watching TV, or playing computer games. It's time for these children to get up and get moving, inside and out. Organized sports build confidence, fitness and children learn to work as a team member. But that is not for every child or family's lifestyle.

Walking and talking is a great sport to "play" with your children. Include the family dog or dogs, too. If the parents get moving and away from sedentary activities, it seems natural the children will follow the example.

When our children were teens, all three played soccer and two were in marching band. I felt like a shuttle bus driver!  But those times were fun for us because we were together. My husband and I were at every football game until half-time so we could watch the band. Then, like all the other band parents, we went to our warm home until it was time to come drive them home.

We made use of whatever time we had together, at home or away. We had little social life outside of being band and soccer parents. These were good times and even though we were busy working, we always made time for our family to be together. Not at amusement parks, but at home or on walking trails at parks. We never felt obligated to entertain our children at any age.

We wanted our life to be as simple as possible. We wanted our children to know we were there for them when they called or when they were home with us. TV never took precedence and we were rewarded more than once with homegrown concerts from our flutist, trombonist and clarinet players.

So if you go grocery shopping with your children, no matter the age, please try – no matter how tired or stressed you are – to use the time to talk, teach and reach out to your children. Forego the temptation to put a movie on while you shop. Today we can reward our children for good behavior with time, a listening ear or two and a walk around the store or the block.

Now our children are grown with children of their own, we have heard often that one of the best things we did as parents was spend time with them. We were simply there and were predictable.

So we still opt for simplicity in our coffee pots and activities.  Listening to a concert at Grove City's Town Center on Friday summer nights, attending a play at The Little Theatre Off Broadway, eating breakfast at Lillie's Kitchen or walking down our street talking with our neighbors.

And when our grown children and grandchildren visit, they join us. No fanfare, just time. Together. Easy memories.

Published in Suburban News Publications
07-05-06
 

Liz Thompson is a freelance writer and former Suburban News reporter who lives in Grove City with her husband, Bob.

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