"Hoping for your Safe Landing"


by Liz Thompson



Pretend you are standing at the top of a staircase. You feel like you are about to fall forward and need something to grab onto but there is nothing – No banister and no safe landing. Sounds like a nightmare, doesn’t it?


Walking down a staircase seems like such a small thing, yet thousands of people have this nightmare every day of their lives. You are wondering why these same people don’t just call out for help? Not so easy. And if you did, would anyone respond, one may ponder.


I like to think the answer is yes. I have called out for help many times and help was always provided. My balance is often poor due to Multiple Sclerosis and I jokingly say, "I just had orange juice to drink for breakfast," and laugh. Trying not to take my situation or myself too seriously seems to make others more comfortable. Then discussion may ensue and we all learn and move past differences. That is one reason I have a cane, which is painted to look like a Macaw – to encourage communication.


Dr. Adella A. Allen, retired dean from Arizona State University, says it well, "We should acknowledge differences, we should greet differences, until difference makes no difference any more."


Recently, I was part of a discussion of people with MS. The group was comprised of men and women, young and not so young, and people of different cultures. Yet we felt a kinship with our disease and could talk freely. Some of the younger people were wondering how to handle the stares when they walked into a room using a walker or cane.


I had my answer but waited to hear the others. Several were also wondering how to handle the feeling of being ostracized from "normalcy." Others said it did not matter what others thought and the best answer was from a woman, who said, "I just tell them with this (cane, walker, wheelchair, etc.) I can go about my business better."


Having been deaf and used American Sign Language for years, I was fairly numb to stares from strangers. Then one day, a Deaf friend asked me why hearing people stare when she uses signs. I simply told her it is beautiful and fun to watch. People are curious how it works and want to know. I don’t think people mean to be rude, simply curious.


She accepted that. I like to think a small plank was put in that bridge to understanding. Now that I can hear again, thanks to the miracle of a cochlear implant, I have been on both sides of the scenario – the haves (a disability) and the have-nots.


Sometimes people may stare unknowingly at those using a cane, walker, wheelchair, or scooter, thinking they look "normal." If we can acknowledge we are different, when appropriate explain a bit, then the looks we receive might be simply to assess whether we need assistance. More people will look up and beyond him or herself and reach out to help.


I contacted the local MS Chapter in Tempe for some information. While talking with the man on the phone who said his name was Jerry, I found myself chattering about different issues I face with MS. I asked if he has MS and he said he did not. "I’m so glad," I responded. "No one should have this." He was delightful to talk with and he e-mailed me the information that same day. That’s when I would learn he was not just Jerry, but Jerry Turner, program director.


There are people, like Jerry, who will gladly offer a hand at the top of the stairs.


Having applied for Social Security Disability, I am still in the waiting mode. Making the best of a strange situation, I am looking at the positives. One great thing is having met more of our neighbors. They are all ages, some with children, and some with children grown, like me. As I have talked with them and explained my situation, neighbors have offered assistance.


How good is that? Very good. Phoenix is large with thousands of people but I want to believe the majority of our neighbors have a big heart and willing hands to help. I may never need the help, but I know I don’t have to stand alone at the top of the stairs. I have a safe landing.


Now for those who don’t have that, please call for help.

For more information, contact the
Arizona Chapter - National MS Society
 315 S. 48th St., Suite 101, Tempe, AZ 85281
 1-800-FIGHTMS

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