"The Guardian Angel"

written by Sue Ommen

© 2/18/99


"She looks so good, even in the coffin," Lori commented to Judy, wiping a tear from her eye. "Except for her cane, you would never have known." "Ironic, isn’t it," Judy said, noisily blowing her nose.


"She was ill all those years with MS, and then was run over by a truck." "Life is so short, isn’t it," Lori said. "I feel guilty now that I didn’t call her more, invite her out to coffee or lunch occasionally."


"Life is so busy." Judy sighed. "Everyone is so busy. It’s hard to just get everything done in a day."


"Besides, she never asked for help. She was very quiet about her illness. I don’t think she wanted us to interfere," Lori went on.


I watched my own funeral in disbelief. If only they had thought to call me once in a while. It would have brightened my day. An offer to go out for anything would have been so uplifting.


I sighed as I felt my spirit slide away into another time and place like a dream. I was whole again. I closed my eyes and felt my former self slip into a sweet world. My arms and legs grew soft feathers and fluttering the whole of them caused a reshuffling, like cards in the hands of a magician. Feathers settled into wings. The sad expression of ill-ness formed into the sweetness of health and serenity. The stress of trying to maintain normalcy, without the trappings to achieve it, evaporated on the breeze. Air currents fluttered the downy hairs of my face as I sought control of my new wings. Pain faded against the blue sky, as I soared the air currents, playing in the soft breeze.


Soon I was joined by another. "The sky was bluer yesterday, but it was colder. Don’t know why whoever is controlling the weather can’t get it right," the Being said testily.


Glancing up, I noticed a creature, one claw on a color chart, the other holding a thermometer. A pleasant, unconcerned expression flitted across it’s face.


"Never thought about it," I threw back. "I am just glad to be up here floating about."


"Well, you should," the being replied. "Nothing worse than incompetence."


I flapped my right wing a little more vigorously and glided right out of the being’s field of vision. If this was my view of heaven, it didn’t include crabballs. Now what to do with this precious period of peace?


I had glided with the currents so long I was feeling a little giddy. The faint chord of a harp drifted toward my senses. Harps are heavenly, I mused, but think I’d prefer a jazz quintet. Immediately, the harpy tones turned blue as the sky and I heard the melodious harmonies of the Manhatten Transfer. I flapped my wings in time to Java Jive, the dulcet harmonies of "I love coffee, I love tea," relaxing me and tuning me up at the same time.


I jived so hard I flipped off the cloud and clipped a man’s disembodied head, scurrying by in circles.


"Watch where you’re going," he barked. "Have to close this deal!"


"Gee, I thought this was heaven, "I mused out loud.


"Heaven is what you make it, just like earth," said a blue angel, sitting on a cloud, watching me.


"He must have been the head of an insurance company; trying to figure out how to make tons of money. while keeping from paying out all those pesky claims," I mumbled.


"Old habits are hard to die," the blue angel said bleakly.


"Don’t mention dying," I countered. "I never realized how stressful it was to die. Getting run over by a truck was no picnic, and then having to watch the Emergency Room Techs laboring over me, and loved ones constantly crying and carrying on and funeral arrangements, and then burying me in that big cold steel box, in a piece of earth that could have been used for something beneficial." I shuddered. "I was so glad to get out of there and earn my wings."


"Don’t you know it," the blue angel replied. "Dying is tough. At least people were crying over your demise. Can you imagine watching your funeral and having no one show any emotion?"


"Guess that would be worse," I agreed. "But I’m glad to be off to a safe haven, where there are no earthly cares or responsibilities."


Her laugh was a soft tinkle. "Enjoy heaven until your time comes," she said, adjusting her blue wing to rest her head against, a bittersweet smile on her countenance.


"What do you mean?" I asked, while scratching my nose with my right wingtip. A feat in engineering itself, could the itch be a premonition of foreboding? I knew this heaven stuff was too good to be true. This place was probably just a stopoff; a tantalizing glimpse of what could be, before descending straight into hell!


The blue angel gave me a quizzical glance, as the sky momentarily darkened and an explosion sounded in the distance. I covered my mouth, almost swallowing an errant feather sticking to my appendage. Guess I’d offended the Big Guy, I thought to myself. Better concentrate on figuring out how to work these fluffly digits instead.


"After you have rested away the stresses of a human life, you will be given an assignment," she continued. "After all, just lounging around the clouds and listening to music can get boring after awhile."


"What about the complaining corporate head," I protested. "He appeared to know this place pretty well. Why isn’t he put to good use?"


"My dear," the blue angel chastised me gently. "He has never worked his way out of the major stresses of life; greed, being totally selfish, going in circles to get ahead and never finding time to enjoy himself or his family. After all, hell is what you make it...a state of mind. You didn’t really think people went downstairs to find hell, did you?"


The shot of thunder startled us both out of our reverie.


"You mean he gets to enjoy all of this beauty; the blue skies, the sun shining, the cushy clouds, music playing, even in … you know," I finished lamely. "Granted he doesn’t have a body, but then I think bodies are overrated."


"But my dear, he has never noticed the good things in this life any more than his life on earth. Poor lost soul." She shook her head. "He’s always searching for something better; tomorrow you might say. Today is never good enough to please him."


I thanked the blue angel, and floated off, deep in thought. My idea of heaven was a place free of confusion and full of chocolate. Immediately, a piece of chocolate appeared in my feathered hand. Despairing of using this clumsy apparatus, I simply thought the chocolate into my mouth and soon experienced a taste sensation that was definitely heaven. For months, I floated the heavens, casting off earthly cares and pains, taking in concerts from the clouds, visiting with passing angels and avoiding hellions, until I finally felt relaxed and at peace.


Then one day, the blue angel appeared to me. She said simply, "It is time."


Yes, I felt ready for a challenge. I felt ready to be useful.


"Mary is a woman on earth who needs your guidance," she said. "She has been diagnosed with MS and needs positive thoughts and a little humor to guide her through this time."


"You already know that I will understand," I said easily.


"Yes," she said, giving me a knowing look. "Here is a window on her world to better understand her personal journey through life. Your job is to be there for her; give her compassion and strength, a hug when needed, and to make her feel loved and important. As I thought back to my time on earth, and watched Mary struggle through my "window", emotions overwhelmed me. She felt much as I had: no control of her life, constant challenges, fatigue, loneliness, others unable to comprehend her many daily battles.


I watched as she walked, with a cane, past an acquaintance. "You look so good," the other woman remarked.


Mary’s lip trembled, as she tried to smile at the all too familiar comment. They didn’t have a clue. I ruffled my feathers and placed the tip of a wing gently on her shoulder...a new angel reporting for duty.

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