We can grow greatly from road less traveled
July 29, 1998

Robert Frost clearly stated in his poem, The Road Less Traveled that the road we choose makes “all the difference.”

I agree. But I have taken so many detours and wasted so much time. I thought I had chosen wisely (that sounds like a scene from Indiana Jones – The Last Crusade) only to learn that I had chosen a road riddled with briars, deep valleys and steep mountains.

Like me, have you spent time holding your head bemoaning the “Why me?” over and over? Life is not easy but with me, I had to be quite a bit older to see why it’s not easy. Anything worth its salt is tough and not handed to you on a silver platter. I just wanted a break but I went around thinking someone else was responsible for providing it. When I woke up, so to speak, I realized my strength does not come from others but from within, by way of God.

Wait, that’s right! Maybe I had chosen wisely. In his poem, Frost chose the road that the grass had not been beaten down, a road less traveled. Then why would he or anyone consider this to be the best road to travel? If it were wrought with obstacles and potential hazards, why would we choose that path instead of the one that is open and clear? The open and clear path would be an easy stroll; we could bask in the warm sunlight and walk with ease.

But the overgrown path requires muscle, ingenuity, talents, deep thought, planning, prayer . . . hey, that sounds like life to me – a life with value, learning, growth and deep meaning. It seems that strength – physical, emotional and spiritual would be heightened. Life would be more interesting. The sky would not always be blue. Is it anyway? The rain would fall. The seeds would grow into trees, flowers and vegetables. When the sun shines, we appreciate it more and get out and play!

Seems to me that life where obstacles have been hurdled, achievements reached with much effort and an ability to accept our lives – making the most of the sunny days – is the best choice.

In my past, I often wondered why my hearing loss existed. I spent a lot of time at the crossroads trying to start on the open path. My feet never budged. On that path I would have allowed self-pity to take hold and my growth to be stunted.

I had to climb my mountain and see the view on the other side. It took me years to climb that mountain. The view was worth the climb. Now I have accepted this loss as part of who I am. Now I have the inner strength to advocate for others and myself.

Yes, I have a significant hearing loss but there is so much more to me. Here is an excerpt from a poem I wrote for a woman who is hard-of-hearing and legally blind.



“When you look at me, hear me laugh, see me smile … work a little at getting past, what I may no longer have.
Please see who I am, tell me a joke, talk to me about your day, let me watch your children play. Tell them, too, that I’m just like them.
A person, with heart, one of God’s loving gems…then the bridge will grow and grow
And the world will be better, the flowers will grow
They will perk up their blossoms and laugh at the sun,
All of life will be beauty and we will learn how to show
True love and true friendship
To each person we know.

I have been called “brave” to speak and write so openly about my invisible condition, my hearing loss. Many people try to hide something that the world might think of as a deficiency. My condition, and other unseen challenges, is worth owning, accepting. Can you change it? Are you able to make this condition disappear? My hope is to use my life experience and assist others through this time of acceptance.

In American Sign Language, the sign for accept is wonderful. Take your hands and place them, palm down, in front of you with your fingers spread. Now draw your fingers together and pull your hands to your upper chest. Think about it – taking something “out of the air” and placing it on you, accepting it, receiving it to yourself. Saying, in your heart, “Ah, this is part of who I am and I take it to myself, I accept it as part of myself – I will now keep it, deal with it, treasure it, for it is part of who I am. I will move on now for I no longer wonder if I can accept for I have completed that action.” Now others can begin to do the same. Just show them how – show them this sign.

You may want to ask me, “Do you like being so hard-of-hearing?” The answer would be, no. But being hard-of-hearing has afforded me a fresh outlook, a sensitivity that might not have developed otherwise.”

Others certainly do not choose to lose their vision, or the ability to walk or speak, or the sense of touch. Hopefully we can dwell on what we can do, what ability we do have.

Thus, accepting life as it is, not as we might want it to be.
Think about choosing the road less traveled, think about the challenges and the bridges of understanding that can be built – even if the world thinks you are a bit foolish. We are in this world for such a brief time. Our lives are a gift. If the focus is on the precious moments, the everyday miracles … it all starts to make sense – moment by moment.