Another year

by Liz Thompson

December 2004

Another year comes to a close. Music revives childhood memories, advertisements encourage us to buy (buy, buy), churches portray scenes and plays reenacting why we have Christmas in the first place, temples light candles while people pray and sing, and families and friends gather.

Most of us will indulge in our favorite sweets, eating more than we need. No matter what we celebrate, or not, this time of year, we can glance back at the past twelve months of our lives.

That has been my process as I finish a few simple, handmade gifts.

Each of my 53 years had at least one significant event which makes it memorable.

As 2004 began, I never dreamt it would be one where I would draw close to emotional, physical, and financial bankruptcy.

In February, Dr. Michael Epstein, my neurologist in Glendale, told me it was time for me to think about my quality of life with multiple sclerosis. He wanted me to spend my time with family, stop working, apply for social security disability, stop driving, and start a chemotherapy regime.

I was stymied.

Ten months later, I look back and realize he was right. I have had time to really think life through and realize now, more than ever, what is important.

Our financial situation was difficult, but we maintained and learned how to do with less - thus the homemade gifts. But what fun I am having dreaming up these projects. Having time to read and write has been a growing experience for me. I have spent time re-evaluating my needs as my MS changes.

My daughter has three young children and I have been able to visit them when they needed an extra set of hands. No time before. My husband and I are eating more healthfully since I have time to plan. No energy before. Our Navy son is stationed at the Embassy in Rome and, with the time difference, he can call me during the day - and once simply to ask about baking a pie. I was not available before.

Since I stopped working, I missed seeing people daily so I visited a Web site I had known several years ago, MSWorld. An old essay of mine was still on the site and I smiled. I registered for the chat room and message boards and logged onto a chat.

What I learned surprised me at first. Many others with MS felt isolated and alone. Some are physically alone as well. I would talk for long periods with people from around the world. My feeling of isolation ebbed as I reached out to others from all over the world, and some here in Arizona. I loved it and chatted often.

In time, our nicknames became familiar and we "got to know" each other. People began asking me for advice, some with serious issues. I "spoke" as a friend and the times were rewarding.

Soon I was invited to be a volunteer host/room moderator for MSWorld. Later I became the site's book reviewer and magazine editor. I now have the time and the knowledge. It is an honor to host a chat listening to concerns, people dealing with diagnosis of MS, or a family member with MS - the list is long. Sometimes we simply laugh in typing terms like LOL - laughing out loud.

As I reach out, I learn and my problems grow small. I no longer feel bankrupt.

This year will go down in my personal history book as the year I slowed down, learned to use time wisely, take better care of my life and all those in it, and enjoy all aspects of life.

This is the time of year many of us think more openly about people struggling or suffering. We are more likely to give food to pantries, pack up those clothes we really don't wear and give them to someone in need, and smile at passing strangers.

One night I sat in the car while my husband was in the grocery. Every single person leaving put something in the Salvation Army kettle and I was encouraged.

Just think of the possibilities if each of us helped one person whenever possible.

For more information about MS, check out www.msworld.org.

This was written for my column in the The Arizona Republic newspaper but was submitted too late for December.