Weeding can be good for what ails you
June 21, 2000

Heat and humidity can be devastating to hearing aids – moisture buildup can cause damage. Plus, getting overheated can cause uncontrollable fatigue with MS. But the sunshine was beckoning me to go outside and garden.
So I took out my hearing aids, drank a big glass of ice water, put my dog on a long leash and gathered my gardening tools. I donned my working gloves and sat in the grass, still moist from dew. The silence enclosed me like a warm sweater warms one in the cold. I started weeding and looked over at my dog lying in the tall, yet-to-be mown grass. He was in the shade, sniffing the air with fervor.

I found myself smiling and continued to pull grass from between the flowers. Suddenly the breeze cooled and refreshed me completely. It was getting too warm for me to stay outside pulling weeds.

The thought hit me at that moment that I was glad I had become deaf and that the MS urged me to sit while weeding. These two physical facts have slowed me down enough to notice the breeze, to take a moment and see the sky was a clear blue and to take my time. The grass wasn’t going anywhere. I could return and finish later.

I was asked to write a few paragraphs about how I keep such a positive attitude regarding my MS by a friend writing a book. This request came while I was having a big pity party.

I took the challenge and was surprised when I found myself writing that I believe you can hear peace. My deafness has allowed me to gain the sensitivity to learn to listen in new ways. My MS has taught me how to pace myself and move more deliberately.

I wrote that I can hear peace – it could be explained easier by saying I can feel peace. Feel the silence, feel the breeze and the sun, feel the blessings that come our way especially when life hasn’t turned out the way we planned.
Charles Swindoll wrote, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.

“It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
 
“The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes.”

How can one be grateful for deafness or MS? Or any “limitation” for that matter? What can I do about it? Even if I get a cochlear implant, there is no guarantee that I will hear. That doesn’t rule out getting one, in the future, but I have learned to love silence.

Most people born deaf don’t see their deafness as something that needs to “be fixed,” but part of who they are. At this moment, I finally understand that way of thinking.

I always appreciated it before but now I understand.

MS is elusive and unpredictable. It is different for each person, no cause is known and no cure has been found – yet. But there are ways to learn how to “manage” the disease. That is what I am determined to do.

I learn what works for me, talk with others who have MS (they are not hard to find) and use the Internet to keep up to date on the latest information. The best site I have found is www.MSWorld.org . There are message boards for talking with others with MS, monitored chats, libraries of information and articles and poems written by others with MS. With understanding, manageability becomes very possible.

I have decided that I am, in fact, in charge of my attitude. No matter what the topic is, my attitude will decide how I react. Bitterness or anger toward my “special” abilities does not enter my heart very often.  

When I find myself throwing a pity party just for me, I realize it is a very lonely party. If I were to drag others into it, then I would have lots of depressed people around me. I prefer to stay positive and surround myself with others who have learned to adapt to whatever their special abilities are.

The next time you feel like throwing a party for one, I have a suggestion.

Go outside and feel the breeze and pull a few weeds from your souls’ garden. It did wonders for me and I hope the suggestion helps you.

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