Divorce Papers......I can't do this anymors

[AnnaMae7]

Today my I am signing my divorce papers. As I type this the tears are flowing down my face, I am devastated. I knew this day was coming but yet I am so much more upset that I thought I would be. I DON'T WANT THIS!

What did I do wrong...why did he go. I don't know if I can do this anymore, I feel lost. How can I do this alone, I don't want do be alone. This isn't fair, he's moving on....and I am suppose to fight this, I am tired of fighting...I'm tired of everything.

[regi girl]

Hey, I am so sorry. I could feel your pain and sorrow as I read you post.

My husband has been terrible to me since I've been sick, I was dnxd about 3 years ago and in limbo for 3 years before that. We've been married for 6 years but he has not touched me since I dnxd and has done some really !@#$!!@ things to me. I know it's coming too, I'm trying to get prepared finacially.

I having to quit work at the end of this year and will get state disabilty and then I will be trying for SSI, I think he is at least waiting for that. I'm not his fun little Barbie Doll anymore, we have always been so social and a large circle of friends but they all have abandon me(us) and he resents me for it. He wants to be his friends more than he wants to be with me, it hurts so bad. If I knew I had MS when I married him I would never have married.

My heart goes out to you, I don't know the words to comfort you but I can feel the pain your in. I too have thought the very same things you are thinking, it's so unfair. I've been treated so awful just because I'm sick and I have a disease. I've lost everything, my whole way of life. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to fix this mess. I don't think I can.

Call a friend or close family, don't be alone, you need to know how important you are and what a wonderful person you are. I hope things are better tomorrow.


** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **

[4boysmom]

I hate seeing such sadness! Luckily, I don't relate to what you're saying, but I can empathize!

Please know that you can do this, "whatever this is" in your own life. I'm working full-time with a bunch of stress (in a school district's technology dept. and school starts in a week). Some days I want to just sit and cry.

But then I remember that 'this too shall pass' and it will be a day when I'm doing all right!

Hang in there! As the song says, "The sun will come out, tomorrow!"

[Seasha]

Originally Posted by regi girl

Call a friend or close family, don't be alone, you need to know how important you are and what a wonderful person you are. I hope things are better tomorrow

Yes! good advice here and I also urge you to be with loved ones during this stressful time! I am truly saddened to hear this story - it's harsh enough to have MS, but with divorce, it is a double whammy.

Cry, cry, cry and get all the hurt and grieving out! When you do, in time it creates space for the Light to shine thru! I know, I've been there! Please keep us informed as to how you are doing. And of course, take care of your health - that's your number 1 priority!

btw, welcome to MSWorld!

[Cat Mom]

Awww, I feel terrible for you. MS is bad enough, then divorce on top of it. I don't think anything I say is going to make you feel better, but it sounds like its his loss, not yours. Cry lots if you need to, come here for some support too. We care a lot.
Jen

[AnnaMae7]

Well they are all signed and i am a puddle of mush... I cried durning the whole process and he just stood there cold as ice, how can 20 years mean nothing to him...I am done!

[Stacy Noe]

I am sorry you are having to go through this ordeal. I dont think there is comforting words that can be said to you right now, but I can tell you this. God never said it would be easy, but He did say He would be faithful. If we put our faith in man we are going to get let down everytime, but if we put our faith in God, he will never let us down.

I know that sounds alot easier said than done, but I do know this. I am new to this site and I have been down myself and have had problems both physcially and at home, but through this whole thing I have always been able to turn to God.

I hope whatever you go through, you turn it over to him. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

God Bless you.

Stacy Noe

[Cat Mom]

AnnaMae, it sounds like he didn't deserve you, if the past 20 years meant so much to you and so little to him. Congrats for having the inner strength to sign those papers, for thinking highly enough of yourself to not be with someone who doesn't think the same.
Jen

[rfreshour]

I am so sorry, AnnaMae! I cannot relate to what you are going through, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I know you don't need to hear a bunch of platitudes, so just try to hang in there, and know there are a lot of great people here at MSW that will help you through!

[Shashi]

I'm so sorry, Sweetie. I know how much it hurts. My own divorce was just finalized on July 27. Hang in there. It's hard, but it does get better.

Big hugs and lots of prayers being sent your way.

Lisa

[Sara Angela]

<HUGS> Sounds like you are going to be better off! He sounds so cold...

We are here for you!

Sara

[AnnaMae7]

i wanted to Thank You all for the support. I actually feel much better today. It was extremely emotional yesterday but I made it through it. I hung out it chat and believe me that really helped, i didn't feel so alone.

Today is another day and a new beginning, I know I will have bad days along with good ones but I will be stronger because of this. It was good just to cry and cry and cry.....eyes were swollen and sore but I needed it!
I was in the total wrong frame of mind, was thinking my loss is her (the new girlfriend's) gain, but actually his loss is my gain. He lost me and i found (gained) myself. I am a work in progress but it will be awesome. I think when it becomes final I will send him a thank you card and her a sympathy....lol too funny.

Once again Thanks! MSWorld ROCKS!!!!

[4boysmom]

I am so glad you found that inner peace so quickly! You are totally right, that it is great you found yourself, and that "she" didn't get anything!

They deserve each other, and you will be strong and find the woman you were meant to be without him.

Hugs coming via the internet!!!

[SEAMSGUY]

Praying for you AnnaMae. You will make it through this. We can tell by your words that you are strong. Probably stronger than you know. God bless you, He will give you the strength you need.

[AnnaMae7]

I think I was ready for this because he left in January and it was clear he wasn't coming back and I didn't want him back.
It just made it real if that made sense. It will probably be a rough day when it becomes final, we shall see. Now that it is done and I have myself in check I am actually relieved that it is over with. Once again Thanks for the wonderful support!

MSWorld ROCKS!!!!