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Old 07-06-2011, 06:03 PM
MyGirlsMom MyGirlsMom is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 425
Feeling sad, need to vent

Hi everyone!

Today I feel sad and overwhelmed with MS and just need a place to park my thoughts. Overall, I am very blessed with a good husband and beautiful and amazing daughters. I was DXD in 2009 following what now is very obvious sxs over the past 15 or so years.

The past two years have been difficult physically and emotionally for me. To see me, you would classify my MS as mild; however, my body always feels off, I have pain and burning and a general malaise. In March I seemed to turn the corner and life improved dramatically. Saturday, July 2 was great...I biked for awhile and even went for a walk at night. However, Monday hit me like a storm and I haven't felt well since. I am scared that I will never be normal again...I am tired of struggling through each day.

I am turning 50 shortly and it seems like it all went too fast. If I live til 80, how will I make it this way the next 30 years. My girls are still young and I wish I could be more active with them. My vision of our life and activities at this point is gone...(biking, hiking, etc.) and it makes me very, very sad. I know, I know, those activities are replaced with other activities and it is so hard to let go of the dreams. I have so many blessings, but on days I don't feel well, it seems like I only can see the negative. Intellectually, I know and understand one day at a time and I am trying hard to live that, but today it just seems impossible to emotionally be there. I know that it is just today that I am in a bad place and tomorrow will probably be better, but I just wanted to post to not feel so alone in this crazy disease called MS.

Thank you for listening and for all the many posts that lift me up and support me everyday. Blessings to you all!
Old 07-06-2011, 06:48 PM
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mjan mjan is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Milwaukee WI
Posts: 2,420
Sorry for all you are struggling with..but are never alone. WE care and understand. HUGS~

One thing you CAN control is your perspective on this disease. Try hard to stay with today..feel glad for ALL the good days. When you worry about the "what ifs" or "could've beens, should've beens" then you just used up much needed energy & time YOU are in control..we care and many many new treatments are coming that were not here just a few years ago.

MS will teach you many things..coping, self care, pacing yourself and being grateful for what you DO have.

Enjoy your life...and be grateful for all your blessings.

Warmly, Jan
I believe in miracles~!
2004 Benign MS 2008 NOT MS
Finally DX: RR MS 02.24.10
Old 07-06-2011, 07:14 PM
MyGirlsMom MyGirlsMom is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 425
Thank you Mjan!

You are one of the kindest and nicest people on this Board. You always lift people up and thank you for your words and hugs. It means more that I can express!!
Old 07-06-2011, 07:31 PM
katvar katvar is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Western Kentucky
Posts: 217
mjan - once again you have a great and comforting response. Just noticed that you are from Milwaukee. I grew up there and my entire family is still in the area. It must be your "northern tone" that I enjoy so much.
Old 07-06-2011, 07:37 PM
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4boysmom 4boysmom is offline
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Idaho Falls, ID
Posts: 340
You sound a lot like me! I turned 50 a few months ago. I wobble when I walk, so we laugh about it. I try to hike with my sister. We go slow, I fall, we laugh! When I get tired, I quit.

I miss out on some things, but overall, I just enjoy what I can do, and try not to stress about those things I can't.

And we're talking how I used to play a mean classical guitar, but now my fingers are numb......

So I enjoy hearing others play. Figure in the hereafter I'll get my chance again.

Sorry you are down. We all have bad days when life seems to just stink. Sometimes a little anti-depressant helps, sometimes a good cry helps. But the light usually shines again!

Take it all - and be glad for the experience!!
Adversity gives you two choices in life: either let it make you bitter, or let it make you better! I choose the latter.
Old 07-06-2011, 08:24 PM
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tellnhelen tellnhelen is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 348

I'm sad too. I can definitely relate. When I feel like you I exercise....I try to find a way to fight the MonSter then I pray and meditate...Good Luck...don't give up too soon.
Progressive Relapsing MS

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