anyone out there feel as lonely as I do?

[Mynamegoeshere1]

facebook

angela,

I was going to add you to facebook, but there are a lot of people with your name and I was unable to figure out which one was you. My iPad is temperamental when it comes to looking up via email address. If you would like to add me, my name is Amber Schultz Wietlispach. I am probably the only one in the world with that name so add away hehe.

[pumpkin11]

Hi angela!

I feel like this most of my days, no one understands, no one has it, so they can't. I am very lonely and depressed and hope to find people in my situation also, soon.
Here is my contact:

**URL removed by Moderator in compliance with MSWorld Guidelines. This may be put in your Profile for all registered, logged-in members to see. Go to UserCP > Edit Details**

[CGMoonbeam]

I do. My only contact with the outside world is this board and my husband. My "friends" don't e-mail or call. They barely acknowledge me on Facebook. I don't know if they don't know what to say or what? I thought my husband understood, but today he told me to deal with it. I don't know how I guess. I don't want to be here anymore--I don't need the number to the suicide hotline--I just don't want to be here. This is not a life.

No, you're not alone in your loneliness.

[Mynamegoeshere1]

Facebook

Hey you guys, I am on facebook more often than this just because it is so instant to view things about family and such. My friends also don't contact me. I wrote the name to look me up under on there if you want. I cannot look up by email on the iPad.

[mirandal1958]

The most difficult time for me was right after my diagnosis, that's when my symptoms were the worst and when I was most afraid and depressed. I was pretty withdrawn because honestly, these symptoms were embarrassing.

How could I admit I couldn't remember the names of coworkers and aquaintences?

My husband and I would get together with friends just as we did before the MS, but I was different. I walked funny, had problems talking, was tired, and my memory was shot. Social situations were (and still are) difficult for me. In a room full of people, lots of talking, music in the background, etc, I would be lost. All of those sounds blended together making it almost impossible to understand conversations going on. It would take me so long to process the words to join in the conversation that I was always just in the background, trying to listen and keep up. Most of the time, I can't keep up. Their words and thoughts move so much quicker than my own.

Some friends disappeared immediately after hearing I had MS. Many of them just felt really sorry for me, and even more sorry for my husband. Afterall, he was the one who would have to deal with it all. Some were more patient, but after dealing with some of the issues I mentioned above and their fear of my disease, they drifted away.

Only a few of my closest life-long friends remain.

Thankfully I have a family who loves me. I've come to realize through this disease that it is my family who really matters. They are my support and they love me for who I am. My husband has been so amazing. He doesn't let me feel sorry for myself. He tells me not to use MS as an excuse not to do things. I need to do things because I have MS. If that makes any sense at all.

I was in a rut in the beginning. But I've accepted this disease and moved forward. I can't let this disease keep me from living my life. My life isn't over. I need to find as much joy as I can every day, and somehow I have managed to do that.

And this message board has really helped me. Especially in the beginning. It helps to talk with other people who have MS. They are the only ones who understand how it feels to be us.

[VikingKitty]

Angela,

I too feel alone...just me and my rotten immune system munching on my nerves! I have a husband that doesn't get it and won't research it to understand what I'm going through. Now that my boss knows, she's been acting goofy toward me.

I think the only "person" that gets me right now is my cat. And I may just be reading between the meows!

I'm alone right there with ya!

[pattygirl48]

Hello Angela

hi there

I'm not new to this site but new to posting. I'm a 35y/o female from Connecticut. Was diagnosed about 3 years ago.

Today's just one of those days where I'm feeling down on myself. I don't know anyone with MS so no one gets it. It's really frustrating especially when i feel like this. i guess im just looking for folks who are going through the same thing.

sorry. just needed to vent.

angela

{Reply} Angela

Hello my name is Patty!
I was diagnosed back in 1998.
For years and years I fought the fact that I had MS because from looking at me you couldnt tell! That was the tricky part! My 3 kids couldnt get it! They thought Mom looked normal so what was her problem?
I had a son in HS football, a daughter in Middle soccer team and the youngest on the elementary dance team. Their father lived in North Carolina with his misstress at the time...we moved to Indiana cross bridge from Louisville ky so I could be near my Mom and Grandma who lived cross in Louisville Ky. I wanted the kids to be in better schools so I chose Jeffersonville Indiana.
My childrens father came with is to try and make the marriage work...but it wasnt long before he walked out one day and said, "He'd be back at noon"....but he never returned....so there we were the kids and I were living at my ex brother in-laws and sleeping on the floor. He wanted to charge me $100. a week to stay there soooo ther we were "Homeless"... the church we attended allowed us to live in the missionary bed-room on top of the church...we stayed there for 30 days... the only hot meal my kids got was at school as we didnt have any cooking facilities...I began working at the local shelter and the woman helped get us get my first apartment! I felt so proud! Until the warmer weather came....there was drug dealers everywhere cross the street fighting all night long!!! For nine months I lived there in fear! Till finally the Hud-Housing accepted us to the Section-8 program which went by my income!
I went through a lot as well as my children...for 11 years we struggled...their dad was $70,000. behind in child support when my youngest turned 18 2 years ago.
I worked a11pm-7am at the shelter 5 days a week, also cleaned houses with a friend of mine and did landscaping work part time. I was drained and my body was tired...the kids didnt make my MS any easier...I had a son who had an anger control problem...punched holes in the walls and broke my thumb when he came in drunk...I had to place him in the "youth Shelter" for his anger...my second daighter would jump out her window while I was at work...m,y son would call and say she was missing...the youngest one...was rebelling to the MAX!!!
But all in all I made it through 11 years as a single Mom! I was extremely independent! I refuse to fall in love and hated men!!!
Until 2010....I went to Thunder Over louisville and met the love of my life who was from...(you guessed it ) Ohio! lol
So when my youngest daughter turned 18 Feb 5th 2011...she gave me the I'm 18 and I can do what I want and I am moving the "*" out! hahaha Mom!!!
Sooooooo guess what? After hearing this from the other 2 kids...I had it!!! My lease was up next month and I told my daughter, "well....guess what honey?" Mom's moving the "*" out too!!! LOL!!! LOL!!! LOL!!!
What a SHOCKER that was to ALL of my kids!!!
But I looked at it as though the Lord was trying to give me the space that I needed from my kids who did nothing but abuse me and take advantage of me for 11 years...I put food on the table and a roof over their heads....clothes on their backs...( Thank God for Thrift Stores, Yard Sales and WaLMart!!!!! ) I also sold my plasma to make sure those kids always had what they needed....while their dad lived in NC and came to see them with step-mom about every other year os so for a weekend over Christmas. Currently....he hasnt seen my kids now for "YEARS!!!"
True story........ : (
I have no clue why I rambles on like this but something made me tell you because I want you to know that you are not alone in this! I am here for you to vent to whenever you need me!

I hope that my story inspired you and that it strengthens you to know that "YOU ARE NOT ALONE!"
I as well as the rest of the friendly people on MS World are always here for you!!!
May God continue to strengthen you and Bless you!!!
Take care!
Please keep in touch!!!
(((((HUGS)))))
Patty

[teacher7]

Reaching out

Hi Angela, I'm new to the board but just wanted to let you know there are people around who can help you get through this. I was diagnosed 18 years ago and can still vividly remember the way I felt the first few months, even the first year. I didn't want anyone to know and I worried how it would affect my family. What truly helped me was reaching out to others and offering to help them. Something about focusing on someone else's problems makes it easier to deal with your own.
BTW....if you haven't begun any drug therapy I urge you to talk with your doctor about it now. It's important to talk about it early. If you have any questions about drug therapy feel free to contact me. I can send you a private message with contact info. Ask your doctor for info. on all drug therapies available today and then start researching for yourself! Best wishes!

[CTMS]

Sorry Angela!!!

hi there

I'm not new to this site but new to posting. I'm a 35y/o female from Connecticut. Was diagnosed about 3 years ago.

Today's just one of those days where I'm feeling down on myself. I don't know anyone with MS so no one gets it. It's really frustrating especially when i feel like this. i guess im just looking for folks who are going through the same thing.

sorry. just needed to vent.


angela

Sorry to hear about your "feeling down" day. I think we can all say we've had some of those. What i've come to realize is unless you have MS, no one will fully understand.
I'm in the same boat as you. I don't know ANYONE with MS therefore its hard to be understood. I'm a 36 year old guy from Fairfield County Connecticut (close to you I assume) who was diagnosed about 8 years ago.
If you ever want bounce your bad day blues off someone who understands i'm here. I just joined this site and found these message boards as I was looking around. Everyone seems so supportive and NICE!!! Definitely a breathe of fresh air!!

[bunny1310]

bunny

Hi Angela, This is my first time on this site so I hope I am using it right. I too feel lonely at times.
My family, husband and 3 sons, is supportive but they do not really know how I am feeling, which is prob my fault, because I do not talk about my ms a lot. I don't want anyone to worry or want to be center of attention.
I want them to focus on school and their lives. My best friends, the one moved so only see her once or twice a year and the other one I see most travels for 3 months at a time, although she said she will come home if needed, but I would not ask that of her.
My co-workers are understanding but since I am able to walk and do my job and look normal they really do not understand either.

I do not know anyone close that has ms either to talk to. I do count my blessings because I know many are a lot worse than I am! We need to hang in there and support for each other. It helps to know we are not alone.

[pnowsitall]

Greetings

Hi Angela,

My name is PHil and I'm pretty close to Greenwich, CT.

I too have been diagnosed recently, 31 yr old male, that doesn't know what to do really in this new life.

Let me know if you are online or something. It's nice to read these posts from people.

[ajames467]

Hi All,

I am new here too, I feel whatever we have gone through in our lives with diagnosis, we should see life in a different manner by exploring wonderful things. Its feels pretty good to see so many of you all posting your comments with your concerns. We should be getting used to this.

Take care,

Remember Health is Wealth and Its Tax Free.

[MsGymRat]

pattygirl48

Pattygirl48,
I was blown away by your story. I work two night shifts a week and I thought I was the only one who had it rough. I don't have it that rough.
That's the good thing about reading a forum where other people have MS. You learn that you need to stop thinking that you are the only one that has a few problems and that you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself.
God says he doesn't give you more than you can bear.
Karen

[jaz75]

Can I join your club?

Is it possible to join your club? as i'm nearly friendless just got a few friends who I met in my YOUNGER MS redbridge group

[Angelwing7]

So afraid

I have been doing well since 1983 and now I think a train hit me. Solumedrol IV for 4 days has left me weepy and angry and so alone. Nobody to talk to as I have hidden it for years. Afraid I will lose my job.