anyone out there feel as lonely as I do?

[Feenie]

Undercover MS

At first I didn't tell anyone I was diagnosed 8 years ago. I have not "come out of the MS closet" with everyone at work but have told my immediate supervisor and coworkers. I have slowly practiced telling people over the past year. I think there came a point that it is was a bigger risk to not tell. Perhaps you can check with your HR department or someone you trust. Or if you are really sure that your employer will not support you or even might fire you; talk to an attorney.

[Angelwing7]

MS and teaching

I am in a bad exacerbation. I have been teaching for 16 yrs. I wonder how long it takes to come off solumedrol. The side effects have made me awful to be near. My husband is fed up. The feeling is as if electricity is amped up high through my body. Injection site inflammation made me worse! I wish I could talk to someone. I am trying to figure out chat. Sure could use a friend.sending smoke signals.

[pnowsitall]

MS, 31, and MBA Degree

I'm in the same situation, could use anyone out there for support, help, and words of advice.

Dx in Dec 2011, newbie, and overqualified potential disabled, young guy.

Contact info in profile for anyone wanting to send a quick email to connect. Thanks!!

[Sierrastrong]

Hi, I am actually nervous about posting this. You see I was diagnosed with RRMS 5 years ago. I was an active "career" woman and have been through alot in my life, but always pushed through and ahead. I keep it all inside and smile to the world. I am fortunate that I have a great husband who is very attentive, but he is not and has never been a real talker. When we do talk feelings,...he wants to fix things so badly for me that it makes me sadder and annoyed because I just need an ear.

I have a great daughter, who is 20 years old, and she is away in college building her life as it should be. I am now on LTD and at 52 yrs old find myself feeling an inner loneliness and despair. I opened up a bit to my Mom, but she just said that I was strong - heard that my whole life. My husband senses something and keeps asking me if I am ok and I lie that I am. The doctor suggested therapy, which I am not opposed to, but I have a dysfunctional past that few know about that I am not interested in rehashing with anyone.

I am afraid to go to an MS support group because I just cannot expose my feelings openly. I do not hide that I have MS, just my feelings of despair and fear (which I have done my whole life) about anything. So here I am boxed in by my own carefully built facade and this is the first time I admit it anywhere. How do I move forward from this?

I can't remember the last time that I have cried fir myself - I have cried because my daughter or husband or even my dog had pain, but won't for myself. I don't know where to start as I just don't feel strong anymore, don't want my husband to carry my sadness and feel hollow inside. I feel that I have begun to withdraw emotionally from everything. To the outside world, I have been smiling and I just can't do it any more.

** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **

[AnnaMae7]

Sierra,

I have been right where you are at. Please feel free to email me... my email is on my profile, I can be a ear to vent to, I will listen and I will so understand.

Were also about the same age. Anyway would love to hear from you.

Thanks AnnaMae7 or Tracy

[Thinkimjob]

Oh, love. I've not cried for myself for a long time. I want to, but I don't, because I'm afraid if I start I won't be able to stop.

We're alive and it's okay.

[Sierrastrong]

Reaching Out and Finding Comfort

Sierra,

I have been right where you are at. Please feel free to email me... my email is on my profile, I can be a ear to vent to, I will listen and I will so understand.

Were also about the same age. Anyway would love to hear from you.

Thanks AnnaMae7 or Tracy

Thank you so much Tracy for your heartfelt response. I am so touched by your offer to communicate more. I sadly feel better knowing you understand as you have been through this,...sad because I don't wish this on anyone, but relieved to have found a knowledgeable and compassionate ear. I will take you up on your kind offer, in return I will listen as well. I am overwhelmed by your reaching out. Sierra

[Sierrastrong]

Feeling Lonely

Oh, love. I've not cried for myself for a long time. I want to, but I don't, because I'm afraid if I start I won't be able to stop.

We're alive and it's okay.

You are so right,...I too am afraid that if I could cry I wouldn't stop. I keep trying to remind myself that life is a gift,....still,...I know we must keep on with our heads held high but it sure feels better when others know exactly how we feel.

[Wordsgood]

So basically, the general consensus is that we are all horribly. Yup, that sounds about right. I'm still crying more often than not since finding out.

Thank goodness we all have each other and this forum!

Hugs to Everyone.