Just a rant...
I thought when the weather got cooler here in Denver that I would feel better. This wasn't the best summer for me...I hardly went outside of my air conditioned place. I feel tired all the time now and my balance and walking issues have really gotten much worse. My neuro even gave me a handicapped placecard that I have a hard time swallowing my pride to use. My kids think it's great, but I am often too ashamed to use it. I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging me. Maybe I'm judging myself. I'm pretty hard on myself...I'm my own worst critic.
My LP is very supportive. He tries to go to every doctor visit, and I've had alot lately. I just feel like sometimes no one truely "gets it" because I look still pretty normal. Sometimes I have a hard time walking when I first get up and start moving especially (I wiggle my legs and say to myself "go, go Gadget legs!) but other than that there is no physical malady that is evident. So everyone assumes I'm fine. My family hasn't taken much interest in how I'm feeling, no one but my LP even asks. And sometimes my son which then makes me feel even more guilty. I'm trying so hard to hide what I'm feeling but it's getting harder to do that. I have always been the strong one, and have a lot of what I now consider to be foolish pride. But I can't get rid of it. And I'm stubborn so you can't try to help me if I don't want the help, which is usually.
Thanks for listening. Does anyone ever feel like this? I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams.
I thought when the weather got cooler here in Denver that I would feel better. This wasn't the best summer for me...I hardly went outside of my air conditioned place. I feel tired all the time now and my balance and walking issues have really gotten much worse. My neuro even gave me a handicapped placecard that I have a hard time swallowing my pride to use. My kids think it's great, but I am often too ashamed to use it. I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging me. Maybe I'm judging myself. I'm pretty hard on myself...I'm my own worst critic.
My LP is very supportive. He tries to go to every doctor visit, and I've had alot lately. I just feel like sometimes no one truely "gets it" because I look still pretty normal. Sometimes I have a hard time walking when I first get up and start moving especially (I wiggle my legs and say to myself "go, go Gadget legs!) but other than that there is no physical malady that is evident. So everyone assumes I'm fine. My family hasn't taken much interest in how I'm feeling, no one but my LP even asks. And sometimes my son which then makes me feel even more guilty. I'm trying so hard to hide what I'm feeling but it's getting harder to do that. I have always been the strong one, and have a lot of what I now consider to be foolish pride. But I can't get rid of it. And I'm stubborn so you can't try to help me if I don't want the help, which is usually.
Thanks for listening. Does anyone ever feel like this? I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams.
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