Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Am I being harrassed?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Am I being harrassed?

    I have a co-worker who is very vocal about how unfair she thinks my accomodations are and complains about how they affect her. Thursday, she was just down right mean.

    I had the stomach flu and was biding my time until my husband could pick me up. I received a call about one of her accounts. I added the info that was given. Apparently, I needed more info and that was my fault. Really wasn't a big deal. I fixed it. I mumbled some things I shouldn't have said, nothing serious, but I was so hurt.

    I decided to take a break. I was crying and shaking and my muscles were all tense. When I came back, I told her I was sorry that I messed up on her account, but that she really hurt my feelings. She said she didn't care about my feelings. I appologized several more times, but she continued to be hateful. Didn't want a stomach bug, but at least I got to go home early and get away from the situation.

    I have an opportunity to talk to my supervisor about this. Not sure if I should. I know my co-worker could really get into trouble if she continues to complain about my illness. I don't want to have a tense work relationship, but at the same time, she really needs to watch what she says.

    Would you tell your supervisor, or just let things be and try to get over it? I could really use some advice.

    #2
    Kittysmith: stop apologizing to this girl. She obviously is just a right fighter. I have had a similar situation on here, being harassed, so I went to my supervisor, and it stopped. I think you should definitely go to your supervisor so that she/he can take care of things. This is not your job to do it will only end up in a cat fight and who wants that?

    Especially since she is harassing you about your MS, that is uncalled for and needs to be stopped. You should feel comfortable in your workplace. This woman may be just trying to get you fired. Hard to say. Don't fall into that trap. Just ignore her for now and let your hirer ups take care of it. You are no lesser of a person because of your MS and you are there at work to contribute just like her so pretend like she is not there and let it go.

    Situations like the account that you did for her, don't let it upset you so badly. She is only a person with flaws of her own. So you made a mistake, happens to everybody. You apologized once-thats it. She can deal with it.

    Take care
    Lisa
    Moderation Team
    Disabled RN with MS for 14 years
    SPMS EDSS 7.5 Wheelchair (but a racing one)
    Tysabri

    Comment


      #3
      I'd document it and talk to your supervisor. She doesn't care about your feelings so don't worry about hers.

      I posted a work problem on here & got some great input. I ended up documenting it and put the situation in writing and sent it to my director & told her to forward to HR if she wants.

      She said she'd investigate and I haven't heard anything since. I've been left alone which is what I wanted.

      These people are not our friends. We need to look out for ourselves.

      Let us know how you do!

      Comment


        #4
        22cyclist gave good advice. Please use it.

        I'd tell my supervisor.

        Comment


          #5
          Talked to my Supervisor!

          Things went better than expected. She decided that our small department (3 people) should have a meeting to discuss all matters that have been concerning us. We are in the middle of a re-structuring and we have all had our schedules drastically changed (my co-worker blames that on me, of course). I think a talk with all of us would be good thing. It wouldn't be singling one person out and maybe we can get some other issues delt with as well.

          Thank you all. I wouldn't have had the nerve without your help.

          Comment


            #6
            Doesn't this fall under " BULLYING" ? That is against the law! I would follow 22cyclist advice! On the other hand it sounds like a "spoilt little kid" who needs to be put in the timeout corner!
            Sissy

            Comment


              #7
              I am glad you talked to your supervisor.

              What really struck me is that you all work in a hospital (from your other thread) and she is being a jerk about your MS. Not cool!

              Comment


                #8
                yes!

                Hi Kittysmith,

                I am so glad you talked to your supervisor. I agree with what others have said--please keep documenting this, do not let it go, and understand that it is bullying!

                I had a relapse a couple of years ago and had to go on FMLA. When I came back to work my supervisor told me she "preferred fully functional employees" and said that I had "better not get sick again."

                This last is almost funny for a person with MS.

                I documented it and went to my supervisor's supervisor and she told me not to tell anyone about it and that she thought my supervisor was just "having a bad day."

                Now I am having a second relapse and I sure wish I had done more. I did do more--I met with lots of people--but I didn't hire a lawyer when none of those people could help me. And now I am very sick, and if I'd gotten legal representation back then I'd have someone to help me now.

                It sounds like your workplace is overall much more understanding except for this awful colleague, but please keep an eye on it, keep a document on your computer with dates and times and what happened and who you spoke to and what was said, and know your rights and don't be afraid to take action if you need to. Looking back, I wish I had not been afraid.

                I hope things keep continuing to go well for you.

                Emily

                Comment


                  #9
                  Your co-worker was out of line, and a jerk.
                  I am glad that you told your boss. Document this.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by kittysmith View Post

                    I mumbled some things I shouldn't have said, nothing serious, but I was so hurt.

                    I was crying and shaking and my muscles were all tense.'

                    When I came back, I told her I was sorry that I messed up on her account, but that she really hurt my feelings.
                    In all fairness to the co-worker it sounds like things weren't handled the best on either end. I'm glad you had a meeting and hopefully things will settle down.
                    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                    Anonymous

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Emily, if you documented that original discriminatory remark made by your supervisor about how she preferred fully functional employees, and then threatened you about not getting sick again, I think you could take that document to a lawyer now and not be worse off for not contacting an attorney back then.

                      The fact that the supervisor's supervisor said "Don't tell anyone," and then proceeded to cover it up makes the whole thing more incriminating.

                      We all have enough trouble having MS. We do NOT need additional discrimination in the work place. Let's stand up for our rights, because that discrimination is against the law. Some people might need reminding about the law.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I am going to chime in here a little, because there is some accurate and inaccurate info here.

                        Although workplace bullying does take place, there is no law against it at either the Federal or State levels. Not saying it is right...many States are working on these laws and I for one would like to see anti-bullying laws.

                        What is illegal is a hostile workplace for protected classes of people and certainly it is illegal at the Federal level to discriminate or blatantly harrass a person protected under the ADA. Additionally, if your organization has an employee handbook of any sort that states employee harassment or bullying or cussing is not tolerated, then it is as good as law and can be used in Court...but it must be in writing and it must be distributed to all employees.

                        We have two cases brought up in this thread.

                        First Kitty. Going to the supervisor was the correct course of action. Yes, Kitty was being harassed by a fellow employee specifically over an accommodation request. It is very hard to do, but if Kitty gets harassed in the future, instead of saying anything back to the employee, document the incident in writing and provide a copy to the supervisor and HR Department. Do not respond back to the harassing employee...you can lose a case over this. Administrative Judges are not very receptive or tolerant to a "war of words".

                        In Emily's case, this was a BLATANT violation of the FMLA and should have been reported. What makes it worse is that it came from management. I do not think Emily however has any legal rights at this time because two years have passed. It could certainly be used for future legislation as a piece of evidence to prove the supervisors past intentions. In fact, I would go as far as saying it could be used to demonstrate the supervisors intent to get rid of Emily because she was sick. Serious legal ramifications here.

                        Going to court is very serious, it is very stressful, very expensive and should be avoided at all costs. If an employee was taking us to Court, and I knew the organization was totally at fault, I offered a settlement. Sometimes, I offered a settlement if Court Costs were going to exceed the benefit...just depended. If not, I went to Court, took my best attorneys and I have never lost a case.

                        It is not something you want to go through. It takes a great toll on ones health...it did mine and I was always on the other side. Believe it or not...most court cases had nothing to do with FMLA or ADA.

                        Kitty did the right thing and it sounds like the Supervisor is going to handle it appropriately and in a professional manner. Kitty, if it happens again, document, document, document.
                        Katie
                        "Yep, I have MS, and it does have Me!"
                        "My MS is a Journey for One."
                        Dx: 1999 DMDS: Avonex, Copaxone, Rebif, currently on Tysabri

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X