Hi, diagnosed at end of Aug. '12

[MsGymRat]

Hello. I am Karen, 45 yrs old.

I'm married with three children: 13, 10, and 8. I work PT. I'm a nurse. I work two 12hour graveyard shifts a week. I am also a homeschooler mom. I'm a gym rat and I love to lift weights and do cardio. I'm in the gym six days a week for about 1 1/2 hours. I'm learning how to scale back while I'm in the midst of this relapse.

I was diagnosed after a hospitalization at the end of August. I had been recently diagnosed with endometriosis and was in pain the entire summer. My ob/gyn put me on birth control. Eight days later I had blurry vision, numbness & tingling & weakness in my right arm. I thought I was having a stroke related to my age and being newly prescribed birth control.
lol

Once I started reading books about MS, I now realize that I had my first relapse three years ago after a flu shot. I'm not saying the flu shot caused the MS, it just set off my first relapse. At the time I had some trouble walking and numbness and tingling in my face.

This relapse is much more annoying because I've been suffering from memory problems, trouble concentrating, and crushing overwhelming fatigue.

I just started alpha lapoic acid and l carnitine that I learned about from someone on this forum. I've only taken four doses but I feel more energetic so far, thank God!
I'm on my third week of Betaseron. The injection in the abdomen hurts so much afterward. I had troube doing my crunches in the gym yesterday. Whew!

Additionally, I'm very moody and too mean to my husband.

Since I was sick all summer with endometriosis I never put our kids back into any activities. That means no basketball, dance, piano, for them. I've had to say no to anything besides, work, church, grocery shopping, etc.

My cousin was diagnosed with MS last November and she referred me to her neurologist who is the head of our city's National MS Society chapter. I'm going to switch to him and I'm looking forward to visiting him next week. He only sees MS pts.

Thanks for reading this and thanks for being here.

[22cyclist]

Welcome MSGymRat:
I am also an RN, but no longer work due to my MS. I worked nights too. Best time to work.

Sorry you have had such a hard time. I hope the birth control is helping you some. The endo can also affect your MS, at least the hormones that come with it.

I hope you can get back to some feeling of baseline (not normal), because that is hard to achieve, but something you can tolerate. Realize you might need help. You can't be superwoman anymore with MS...you can still try though.

Working nights is hard enough on the body...might be time to consider a switch to days. Even with the change in child care. Just to get some normal in your life.

If you can't do that, maybe consider getting help with carpooling to events, or asking friends for help. When my kids were younger I had to do all of that. At first it feels awful, but then, it feels better.

It is early, you will work it out.

Welcome and happy to meet you!
Lisa

[hunterd]

WELCOME KAREN!!! It is great to have you here but I am sorry you had to find us. If the shot is bothering you in the stomach area, ask your doctor if there might be an alternative site that you can use.

Since you are new to MS, you probably have tons of questions. Any time you have a question, just ask, the members here are very warm, compassionate and will answer if they can. Good luck

[MsGymRat]

Thank you!

Thanks for the welcome, Hunterd and Lisa!
Lisa, the birth control IS helping. I have no more pain. The pain went away after eight days on the birth control pill. Amazing!
I've thought about switching to day shift but I don't think it would help. It would be way more busy and stressful and I would still be tired. 12 hour shifts days or nights are just wicked.

[MrsChip]

Give yourself a Break :-)

Hi Karen,

Just wanted to say that no wonder that you feel mean and moody. Being diagnosed is like a bereavement in many ways. The loss, adjustment and shock just to begin with.

You probably don't want to hear this, but the saying that the first 2 years are the worst is spot on.

Like a close bereavement, for the next coupla years you will swing between all the stages of grief - shock, Denial, Anger, bargaining and acceptance. Unfortunately this isn't a neat process where you go from one to the next. You will probably swing between all of them, but thats OK, and that's like the rest of us.

You're only being "mean and moody" because you are terribly shocked and like a wounded animal, striking out as you desparately try to accommodate this information and what it may mean to you now, tomorrow, next week and further on.

Just when you feel you have "Accepted" MS, you may swing back to Anger or Denial, but again, that's OK.

Karen, I've had MS for 22 years - since I was 21. Not only did I go through the first 2 year thang, each relapse can swing you back into the grieving process if it's severe, even if you continue to recover almost completely as I have done. And again, that's totally OK. I'm still mobile after all this time and so very lucky indeed although there are many many people like me.

You sound completely sane, completely intelligent, caring and lovely to all of us here.

Just please don't beat yourself up for being moody, but try to share and explain to the best of your ability how you feel to your loved ones to give them a chance to understand and help you. Sometimes you will just feel like hiding and telling everyone to *** off but again, that's totally part of the grieving process.

You're no longer alone as you found us!

Love ya Kid and hope that this is even slightly helpful
Rach x

[MsGymRat]

Rach,
You summed up my feelings very well. I do feel like a wounded animal. Drat.
Thanks for your support and encouragement.
Karen

[MsGymRat]

MS Specialist

Today I had an appt with a new neurologist. My cousin who has MS referred me to him. He is the head of the National MS chapter in our city. He wants to see my MRI film and wants me to have a cervical MRI and a bunch of other lab tests. I will have those things done and go back in one month. It was sobering to see other pts there in scooters and using canes.
His office is cool; it's totally set up for the disabled. And there was MS literature all over including a newsletter for kids which I picked up for my three kids.
It took me 30 minutes to fill out all the forms and he actually read every page. I was nervous and overwhelmed that I had to be there and I was covered with sweat. lol
My husband went to pick up the MRI film for me just now.
The doctor told me it was very important to have a supportive spouse and I thank God for that.
Karen