Newly diagnosed and new job

[ladybug162]

Hi,

I'm new here and hoping for a little advice. I'm 29 years old and just shy of four weeks into my new job. Just three days ago I was diagnosed with MS according to my MRI results.

I never would have guessed I had MS. It was a bit of a shock really. My double vision came on so suddenly and lasted for about a week before finally getting better. The doctor said it was most likely my first attack.

Looking back, this diagnosis does explain my frequent migraines and extreme fatigue. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I could literally sleep the whole day away and wake up not feeling rested at all. I would make plans and then break them with friends because I was just "too tired" to go out.

Anyway, getting back on track here...I'm a littler worried and don't know what to do? I mean should I tell my new employer about my new diagnosis or don't say a word? I wonder how long I would be able to keep it under wraps?

I've noticed my memory isn't as good as it used to be a few short years ago. I could be in mid conversation and forget completely what I was saying or where I was going with it. I know my work has suffered in the past with previous jobs and I'm afraid it's going to suffer again with this new job.

I work in a hospital in medical records. It's not physically exhausting as I sit at a computer all day long, but your memory has to be sharp. I don't feel up to par with my co-workers and learning/comprehending new things takes longer for me to process. It's quite frustrating!!!

I work second shift and get off at midnight which seems to suit me better. I was never a morning person. I also only work 40 hours a week. So far things are okay, but I do find myself sometimes sitting at my desk very sleepy or forgetting little things that are very important. I worry things may get worse?

Sorry for going on like this, but this is all so new to me and I'm still a bit in shock and extremely worried about my work performance. I desperately need to work and want to keep this job as long as possible. Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

[woodstock]

Given your age and the fact that you have just started this new job and are most likely on probation of some kind, I would wait to reveal anything. I was just dx last year and have felt the same way you do about not being as sharp as I used to be and having memory issues. However, the feedback I've gotten from my co-workers and boss have been that they don't notice anything.

I've been working on trying to come up with ways to work around my memory issues. I write everything down. If I forget someone's name, I either look for their name tag or I play it off like I've had a brain fart or something and no one seems to take it the wrong way. There are ways to work around this.

[Trestle]

Congratulations on your new job and my condolances over your diagnosis! You must be scared and have so much on your mind.

I am going to respectfully disagree with the previous poster and recommend you say something. You are on probation. In your email I saw two things that could be easily accommodated, but that could be used to fire you if you don't let them know. You'll feel awful if you allow that to happen. You have enough to worry about. You're not asking for a favour, and you're not getting away with something - these laws exist for very good reasons. Exercise your rights!

"learning/comprehending new things takes longer for me to process." That's perfectly okay to admit, I'm impressed you are able to notice this. I'm still in denial All you need is a little leeway.

The other one was "I've noticed my memory isn't as good as it used to be a few short years ago. I could be in mid conversation and forget completely what I was saying or where I was going with it. I know my work has suffered in the past with previous jobs and I'm afraid it's going to suffer again with this new job." I imagine this is worse right now with all the fears and thoughts flooding your mind about MS. Why don't you tell them this? The ms society has really good info on how to talk to your employer.

I've been working a long time and I can tell you if your present a problem with some solutions and a willingness to listen and consider, you will get SO much farther than waiting for something to go wrong.

I would even say you are scared about your diagnosis, and want to make sure you can do the best job possible... here's how I think I can address this.... sorta thing.

If they say no. You'll know they're not worth working for, you're not invested in them yet and you can take your considerable skills and talents someplace else.

Don't overlook that there are some people who look forward to the opportunity to do the right thing and feel good about themselves for helping others. Give them that chance to be a hero in this scenario. Sometimes those types even work in healthcare (but rarely in HR hahahaha, really)

Can you find out if the employer has any employment equity mandate before you broach this? It may make you braver if you know they have some statement about this or policy - you don't need to bring it up.

Next I'd find out about your healthcare plan, especially as you're 'out of the closest' so to speak. Find out now if there are any pre-qualifiers. I cannot tell you how important this will be if you find you need something in the future. You don't know how ms will present in you yet. Take care of yourself and your future.

[ladybug162]

Thank you both so much for your advice! It's a lot to think about.

I am definitely scared. Not just about the issue with my job, but about the whole diagnosis. This is all new to me and the things that I've read about this disease worries me.

At the same time I'm pretty sure I'm still in denial. I don't like thinking about the disease, talking about it or hearing about it. It literally sickens me. I keep thinking the doctor must have made a mistake.

Most of my family freaked out about the diagnosis which freaked me out. I was totally fine until they started freaking out. They keep asking me if I feel ok etc. I feel horrible to hear them ask that. Causes things to really sink it. Like gosh I really have this thing they call MS? I hate the feeling.

I still can't believe that I have it. You never think about these things until they happen to you. I'm sure you all know what I mean since you all have been through it.

Then I start to feel guilty for thinking this way. Like I'm the only one in the world suffering through this when their are many others going through the same thing and many more who are significantly worse off than me.

I've been wanting to attend graduate school for quite some time now. I'm afraid to go through with it now. Not sure if I should wait to see how this progresses? It has been my dream to pursue my interest in Psychology, but now I'm just scared. Do I just put my life on hold for this thing?

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I was so positive and upbeat last week. This week is a whole other story. I just wish I could wake up and this all be a nightmare. I'm sure you all feel the same.

Thanks again! It helps to read other peoples stories.

[pennstater]

I was in a similar situation 6 years ago. Surprised by my diagnosis and at a new job (employee for 3 months). I was still in the 6 month probationary period. Right now, it's a roller coaster of emotions for you.

I waited until after the 6 months, then told my boss. She was nice about it, but advised me that unless I needed an accomodation, she didn't want to take it further - as one never knows how others may react. Yes - there are laws, but there many gray areas.

I too feel I have memory related issues. New things and complex tasks take longer. I am still at the same company, different job and wound up disclosing, but only after a few realapses this year and needed an accomodation.

Even now, when the management knows me, my work ethic, and work performance well, when I started to discuss the memory issue and potential need for occupational therapy, my manager said to discuss it with the neuro, but advised me not too mention the memory to others in management - as "I still need to be able to do my job". He said it is easy for that to influence perceptions. Basically, keep it between the neuro an HR, as HR needs to provide any accomodation.

I have been fortunate with my disclosure experience. If you can, I would hold off disclosing unless you need an accomodation (different computer screen, etc..) until it is less of an emotional time for you.

Good luck to you.

[Trestle]

Ladybug, you've been dealt a shock, that has the potential to affect every facet of your life.

I wish I had spoken to someone who was trained in this and could help me navigate what was happening. Couldn't see the forest for the trees to have the sense to do that without prompting. I'm prompting you. Go speak to a counsellor. If you can't afford it, tell your doctor and let them help you find someone. This is something you can treat.

(Your emotions are valid. I couldn't look at a wheelchair without crying for 3 years after dx.)

[Jules A]

Originally Posted by pennstater

I waited until after the 6 months, then told my boss. She was nice about it, but advised me that unless I needed an accomodation, she didn't want to take it further - as one never knows how others may react. Yes - there are laws, but there many gray areas.

What a great boss! Just because it is illegal to discriminate doesn't mean it doesn't happen every day. I agree that unless someone needs accommodations there is no way I would disclose and definitely not before the probationary period is over.

Don't put your life and dreams on hold but do be thoughtful and realistic with your aspirations. If you want to go back to school and are able to complete the course work for a job that will be MS friendly at some point I would say go for it!

Hang in there and please keep us posted.